Tag Archives: young adults

Shaping the Journey of Emerging Adults

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During my seminary years, I took a class on discipleship.  I enjoyed our teacher.  I enjoyed the class.  I did not enjoy the final class project.  We were supposed to design an image and curriculum that conveyed our plan of discipleship.

I hated it.  Going through the hoops, I sketched out some baseball diamond shape, but I would never have used it (partially because I cannot imagine celebrating “second base” with a disciple).  As modernism invaded our seminaries, students and professors planned and objectified everything about the faith – including disciple-making.

Discipleship cannot be summed up in a curriculum, or Jesus could have simply written a textbook.

shaping the journey of emerging adultsShaping the Journey of Emerging Adults: Life-Giving Rhythms for Spiritual Transformation by Richard Dunn and Jana Sundene was published by Intervarsity in 2012.  This book steps towards removing the modernistic perspective by inspiring the church to build intergenerational relationships for the cause of the Kingdom.  Along with the authors, I believe, “Fully mature spiritual adulthood cannot be reached without intentional relationships that invest Christ’s grace, truth, and love into the young adult’s life.”  (Dunn, 16)

I appreciate their understanding of the challenges facing emerging adults (who are currently Millennials) without bashing them.  They state,

A caring disciple maker does not soothe the unpleasant aspects of this stage away.  Instead, they value this God-given time of life as a way for the young adult to become more attuned to the work of becoming like Christ.  (Dunn, 40)

The authors’ understand that, “Among today’s emerging adults, often there are less consistent markers, making ‘reaching adulthood’ more confusing.”  (Dunn and Sundene, 40)  Marking the road to adulthood by developmental markers (rather than traditional markers like marriage, children, buying a home, or having a job) helps emerging adults continue to mature.  I believe there are three main developmental markers for emerging adults:  Discovering Vocation, Establishing Autonomy, and Developing Community.

The book presents three “Life-giving Rhythms” for Spiritual Transformation.  I appreciate the imagery provided by the phrase “life-giving” because sometimes our spiritual development appears to drain the life out of us rather than give us the life that Jesus speaks about in John 10:10.  Their three rhythms are:

1.  Discernment

“Disciplemaking relationships can take multiple forms, varying in style and approach according to the personalities involved.” (Dunn and Sundene, 65)  Listening to the voice of God on the behalf of another requires discernment.  A disciple-maker’s desire is not simply for us to examine their lives and see what we want changed, but to listen to them and discern what God is doing.

2.  Intentionality

Spiritual depth in relationships rarely happens naturally, but requires intentionality. “Intentionality produces positive spiritual tension.”  (Dunn and Sundene, 91)  Disciple-making is filled with “awkward” moments that are not to be avoided, but cherished.

3.  Reflection

Photo Courtesy of Aaron Robert Photography. Copyright 2014. www.aaronrobertphotography.com

I appreciate their emphasis upon the importance of reflection for both emerging adults, and those working with them.  Emerging adults are too focused on surviving the present, and forget to savor the past.  It is important for all Christians to reflect on God’s work and faithfulness in the past in order to hold to faith in the present.

These three aspects frame their practical applications, and are helpful for those seeking to impact others.  What a great gift to the church in order to help us move towards a new era of disciple-making.

The “life-giving rhythms” of spiritual transformation should not be practiced only by older adults, but both sides of intergenerational relationships give and receive.  This is what makes the body of Christ not dependent on one another, but interdependent as God designed us to be.

 

Dr. G. David Boyd is the Founder and Managing Director of EA Resources, a non-profit designed to provide resources to churches and parents of emerging adults.

 

Beyond Mentoring – A Call for Symbiotic Relationships

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Photo Courtesy of Aaron Robert Photography. Copyright 2015. www.aaronrobertphotography.com

Mentoring is a hot topic these days within the church.  Many people say they want to find a mentor, however, few actually do the work (or find the courage) to acquire one.  Sharon Parks writes, “Restoring mentoring as a cultural force could significantly revitalize our institutions and provide the intergenerational glue to address some of our deepest and most pervasive concerns.” (Parks 2000, 12)  This quote acknowledges that our deepest concerns about our society and the church cannot be solved by one sector of society, but will require a unified vision of all generations.

Many young adults seek after mentors within their vocational fields in order to build their knowledge, contacts, and other resources.  Emerging adults are taught to seek after mentors in order to advance.    This perspective of mentoring further defines mentoring as a relationship where one gives to another.  One partner of the relationship is a gatekeeper to money, fame, experience, or advancement.

Mentoring is defined as “someone who teaches or gives help and advice to a less experienced and often younger person.”  (Merriam-Webster, Online).  This definition clearly expresses a unidirectional relationship where one gives, and the other receives.  However, anyone who has spent significant time with a person from another generation knows that both individuals give, and both individuals receive.  Healthy human relationships are omnidirectional where giving and receiving moves in both directions.

As Millennials come of age, a new perspective of mentorship has emerged, one which is changing our understanding and praxis of mentorship.  Kinnamen states, “Are you open to “reverse” mentoring, wherein you allow younger leaders to challenge your faith and renew the church?”  (Kinnamen, 205) Setran and Kiesling in their excellent book Spiritual Formation in Emerging Adulthood say, “…guidance still desperately needed but it is a guidance that is dialogical and mutual rather than unidirectional mentoring (Setran, 206).  We must acknowledge the interdependence of human relationships among generations.  While many resort to the word mentoring, the concept has changed and requires us to go beyond.

© 2011 Lakshmi Sawitri, Flickr | CC-BY | via Wylio

Scientists use the term symbiosis to describe relationships that exist for the mutual benefit of each individual.  One example of a symbiotic relationship is the Goby Fish and Snapping Shrimp.  The near-blind shrimp relies on the eyes of the Goby fish while constructs and maintains borrows on the ocean floor.  With one flap of his tail, the fish communicates to his partner that danger is present.  Another example is the African Oxpecker’s relationship with various large African animals.  Larger animals are cleared of ticks by the Oxpecker who live off the ticks (and according to more recent findings, the blood of their host as well).  Symbiosis illustrates the interdependence relationships that God designed humans to develop. (Here is a scientific article on the topic.)

© 2009 Ian White, Flickr | CC-BY-ND | via Wylio

We were designed by God to be in relationships with others.  Interdependent relationships cause growth and maturity.  Interdependent relationships supply love and encouragement.  Interdependent relationships provide personal significance (“My life matters to another person.”)

The time has come when we are called to go beyond mentoring.  We must seek relationships in which we give and receive.  We must move from independence into interdependence.  We must call others to do the same.

References:

  • Spiritual Formation in Emerging Adulthood by Setran and Kiesling
  • You Lost Me by David Kinnamen
  • Big Questions, Worthy Dreams by Sharon Parks

Dr. G. David Boyd is the Founder and Managing Director of EA Resources, a non-profit designed to provide resources to parents and churches as they seek to help emerging adults.

This Millennial Paid Off $23,375 in Student Loans in Just 10 Months

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Jordan ArnoldI found a great article to encourage those who are facing student debt.  The average debt load is $29,400 for those who are graduating from college.  This amount of debt may seem staggering, but it can be conquered.

Some highlights from the article that we can all learn:

1.  Debt reduction became a priority.  This student took on a second job in order to help pay down his debt.  What steps can you take?

2.  Picture it.  Imagine the day you pay off your loans.  How will it make you feel?  I graduated from Seminary with $27k in loans, and I still remember the day when my wife and I paid them off.

3.  Take time to celebrate.  What are you going to do in order to celebrate your debt retirement?

 

Church, Make Room for Young Leaders

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Church, Make Room for Young LeadersEarlier this week, I wrote about the 5 “Disastrous” Results of Inviting Emerging Adults into Leadership.  I came across an article this week that I wanted to share with you concerning making room for Emerging Adults within the leadership structure of the church.

Here are a few points that I would like to make:

Stephens City United Methodist Church from Flickr via Wylio

© 2013 NCinDC, Flickr | CC-BY-ND | via Wylio


1.  If you do not “make room” for young leaders, then they will not feel welcome.  Through the years, most young adults know that when it comes to church leadership that the “Young Need NOT Apply.”  We must be proactive in making room into our leadership structures and inviting them to join us.

2.  We must fight ageism within the Church.  In the author’s words, “Don’t expect the worst of fellow believers, regardless of their age. Let the gospel go to work on your subtle age-prejudice.”  People from all generations must stop bashing others, and seek to build bridges.

3.  Good leadership knows how to release power to others.  Unfortunately, the power of leadership is drawing, and causes many to clutch it for too long (I am hearing the words of Gollum – My Precious).  Larry Osborne has a great quote,

The seniors never graduate (at least not until they’ve become literal seniors and start dying off). They hog the leadership table, shutting out the next generation. It’s one of the main reasons that most churches stop growing and lose their evangelistic touch (and cultural relevance) around the twenty-year mark.

Enjoy the article by David Mathis the executive editor at desiringGod.org.  

 

 

Five “Disastrous” Results of Inviting Emerging Adults into Leadership.

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Although some people believe that mixing generations in leadership can cause the same results as mixing Mentos and carbonated drinks, I believe in young leadership.  I actually believe that the church needs Millennials in order to be healthy.  That doesn’t mean change will be easy.  Here are some results to expect as you invite emerging adults into leadership.

1.  Questions will be asked.

tommy_portrait_blackwhite_690882_h[1]As you invite emerging adults into leadership, be ready to answer questions.  Asking questions is key to a healthy community, while authority that stifles questions and criticism is quickly headed towards disaster.  God-ordained leadership can face questions without feeling threatened.  Hierarchy is so often ingrained into our communities, that we learn to not question authority or the systems that elected them.  As we invite emerging adults to speak, they will need to ask questions to provide understanding, and at other times to evaluate decisions.

2.  Elephants will be acknowledged.

Elephant's tea party, Robur Tea Room, 24 March 1939, by Sam Hood from Flickr via Wylio

© 1939 State Library of New South Wales, Flickr | PD | via Wylio

Many organizations have an elephant (or two) in the room that no one is willing to talk about.  Young leadership will gladly point them out – either because they don’t understand them, or because they can see how unhealthy these huge burdens have become for the group.  Unfortunately, most of these elephants have protectors in the room.  When established leadership chooses to ignore problems within our communities (because they are too painful), emerging adults will want to revisit them.

3.  Reality Checks will be given.

We all need a dose of reality from time to time.  Emerging adults are often idealistic, and do not realize how difficult it can be to bring change to individuals and an organization.  In spite of their idealism, other generations can learn from those who understand how our world is changing, and how the church sits on the precipice of irrelevancy.  A healthy spoonful of reality is needed by both sides.  Inter-generational leadership is a medicine that will grow and strengthen the church.

4.  Assumptions will be challenged.

Whether due to being raised in a postmodern society, a digital world, or because they want to see change, EA’s will challenge assumptions –  no matter how old.  A community’s leadership is often blinded to their own assumptions.  A new leader will see what is being assumed by the leadership structure, and how these old assumptions are obstacles to growth and healthy change.

5.  Growth we result.

As you place emerging adults on your team, their leadership skills will improve.  However, growth should not be associated simply with youth.  Diversity creates a dynamic working environment that will cause everyone involved to grow.  This growth process is characterized by moments of pain and pleasure.

Inviting younger leadership to the table would require something from everyone. 

It is risky. 

It requires humility. 

It requires work. 

It requires courage. 

Maybe these are the reasons why Emerging Adults get shut out.

In the end, we will discover that the results of working with emerging adults are not disastrous at all.  Rather, we will discover that they are exactly what the Church needs.

david in hat - blackDr. G. David Boyd is the Founder and Managing Director of EA Resources.  If he can help your church create avenues to minister to emerging adults, you can contact him at gdavid@earesources.org.

Financial Literacy: Why College Is Not The Time To Blow It Off

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© 2007 Quazie, Flickr | CC-BY | via Wylio

Your college years generally set the tone for your entire adult life. During this period, the choices you make can either lead to lifelong stability or long years of financial insecurity. By following well-established principles, you can prove yourself an excellent steward of the resources you have been blessed with. While learning the basics of financial literacy is doable for just about anyone, this topic can seem like a tough nut to crack for the uninitiated.

Whether they are enrolled in college or entering adult life and considering their options, millennials enjoy many opportunities to take on debt. Well-intentioned or not, an enormous number of lenders present young adults with various forms of credit. Whether they have graduated or not, millions of young adults leave college life with significant debt levels. Depending on your level of financial literacy throughout this period, accepting lines of credit can cause you to sink or swim in life.

Unfortunately, far too many people are entering their adult lives with little understanding of finances. A 2012 report from the SEC found that the average Wall Street investor don’t understand basic concepts like compound interest and inflation. If this class of people needs to “hit the books” and develop financial literacy, how much more does the average college student need to take responsibility of their own finances?

Despite the unique challenges millennials face, members of this generation can access financial tools that were not available to their parents. Many resources, including personal finance software, calculators, budgeting apps, financial blogs and others offer insight, direction, tips and financial education that helps set you on a path to being financially responsible.

The TopTenReviews College Student Guide explores exactly how financial software can help students live within their means. It enables you to have a full, clear accounting of how you spend. You might be bleeding money in ways that are genuinely surprising. Once you know your problem areas, you can focus on how to improve them and be more efficient at how you spend your money each month.

Some might feel that saving is as simple as it is important, for others it is a difficult concept to keep. When we are prepared, we will not fear. As Joseph in Egypt clearly showed, saving is the cornerstone of wise living. What would have happened to Egypt if Joseph did not save? Even if it feels almost as hard as wringing water from a rock, it is important to set aside a percentage of your monthly income for emergencies. Find the method of saving that will work best for you. Maintaining the right kind of savings habit might cost you a little pain now; however forgetting to save can cost you a world of heartache when you are faced with an unforeseen crisis and a shortage of funds. With the many resources and tools available today, there is plenty of help and guidance to help you improve your understanding and your situation before it gets out of control.

Lessons in financial literacy can hit home powerfully when learned from others who share your Christian ideals and values. Get to know trusted mentors who have faced similar challenges and blazed their own trails towards peace and security. Learn how to be financially responsible and self-sufficient during your college years, and don’t put it off. With God’s help, you’ll discover that becoming financially literate is more than a chore; it is a journey of empowerment and self-discovery.

View Jesse.PNG in slide showJesse Woodhouse is a Team Lead at TopTenReviews. He is a proud husband and father and loves sports, music and the outdoors.

5 Struggles of Emerging Adults and How Your Church can Help.

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As the Church, our purpose in helping Emerging adults is not to remove their pain or struggles, but to walk alongside them in the journey.  In Essential Church, Thom and Sam Rainer believe that churches must become essential once again to the lives of people – especially emerging adults.  Your church can become essential to the life of emerging adults, if it understands and seeks to minister to their greatest sources of struggle.

1.  Lack of Direction

aaron in woods

Photo Courtesy of Aaron Robert Photography. Copyright 2014. www.aaronrobertphotography.com

Emerging adults face endless opportunities, but often lack the ability to make decisions (link to decision making).  This does not mean we make decisions for them, but we can seek to provide people and resources that can empower them to make their own decisions.  Do emerging adults in your community have easy avenues to connect with mentors, or does your church provide a mentoring community that can help them find direction? 

 2.  Lack of Stability

Young adults face regular transitions, and so a stable environment is crucial to your ministry (including regular meeting times and consistent leadership).  Emerging adults do not want to meet a new group of people each Sunday.  They want someone to know their name, and offer an understanding ear for their lives.  Do emerging adults at your church should know who they can turn to when they are in need?

 3.  Lack of Community

While attending college, many emerging adults only have a few months to connect before they face a new transition.  This leaves both sides asking whether or not the investment is worth it.  How long does it take for the average person to connect to your church body?  Assimilation into your community must be quick and effective.  While these relationships do not have to be peer-centered, they should be peer-sensitive. The emerging adult years are filled with transitions due to changing jobs, housing, and relationships; therefore, a church that ministers to emerging adults will provide clear channels for them to quickly connect.  Do emerging adults know who they can sit by?

 4.  Lack of Vocational Experience

rachel parsons

Photo Courtesy of Aaron Robert Photography. Copyright 2014. www.aaronrobertphotography.com

Whether currently taking classes or graduated, emerging adults are either looking for work or gaining work skills.  Churches must understand that vocation should not be limited to a side topic, but that vocation is directly connected to the mission of Jesus Christ.  A church who ministers to emerging adults will find people who can provide vocation mentorship, guidance, and internships for emerging adults.  Another way to help emerging adults gain skills includes:  childcare, sound technology, video technology, leadership, teaching and public speaking skills.  All of these skills can serve emerging adults as future job skills.  Do emerging adults know you care about their vocational lives?

 5.  Distance from Family

Many emerging adults are away from their families, and long for “family experiences.” This is especially true when a family member has died or is facing an illness.  Train and equip your people to provide moments when they feel your church is truly a family.  For example, one couple opened up their home every Sunday afternoon to college students.  This couple wanted students to have a home-cooked meal around a table where they would feel loved.  After lunch, the students could then sprawl out in the living room to watch football or take a nap.  Do you make emerging adults feel at home?

As a church, you must plan ways to meet EAs in their struggles.

If you do, they will come.

If you do, they will stay.

If you do, more will come – for your community will not be entertainment, but essential to their lives.

david in hat - blackDr. G. David Boyd is the Founder and Managing Director of EA Resources, a non-profit driven to encourage and provide resources to Emerging Adults and their parents.  If we can help your community minister to Emerging Adults, contact David at gdavid@earesources.org.

 

 

 

Recommended Resources:

                            Big Questions, Worthy Dreams by Sharon Parks

                           Shaping the Journey of Emerging Adults by Jana Sundene

                           Essential Church by Thom and Sam Rainer

                          Spiritual Formation in Emerging Adulthood by David Setran and Chris Kiesling

 

The No. 1 Reason Teens Keeps the Faith as Young Adults

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sessums-mother-daughter-679867-h[1]This article was just released by the Huffington Post, and I thought that it would be an encouragement for parents of children, teens, or emerging adults.

Click here for the ARTICLE.

The article is based on research by Christian Smith and the National Study for Youth and Religion.  My favorite quote in the article by Christian Smith,   “No other conceivable causal influence … comes remotely close to matching the influence of parents on the religious faith and practices of youth.  Parents just dominate.” 

So go read the article, and then go DOMINATE your kids by speaking, teaching, and living your faith within your home and your relationships with them.  

Dr. G. David Boyd is the Founder and Managing Director of EA Resources.  If he can encourage the parents in your community, please contact him at gdavid@earesources.org.

 

 

 

Guess Who Cares For Young Adults When They Move Back Home

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ADULTKIDS_BANNER

I came across this article, and wanted to share it with my readers.  Heather Krause is a statistician who works with nonprofit organizations.  As you read, here are a few thoughts.

1.  If you are making lunches for an emerging adult, you are not helping them, but discouraging their development (through hindering their personal autonomy).

2.  Although “moving out” is considered the pinnacle marker of adulthood, it is not adequate for establishing adulthood.  Assuming that proper boundaries are established, families can remain living together their entire lives.

3.  The author states that she doesn’t care about doing housework that her grown children should be doing.  I believe that this is due to the fact that many adults fail to redefine their lives when children move out.  After years of caring for children, an empty nest requires that the individual redefine their personal lives, their marriage, and their home.

Dr. G. David Boyd