Boomerang Kids – What does this trend mean for the church?

I came across an article this week that focuses on the increase of women who are living at home.  While the article focuses on the increase of women, the numbers of women and men living with their parents continues to increase.

Here is the full article.

We need to explore what this trend means for the church.

What does this trend mean for parents, educators, and those who minister to emerging adults?

1.  In a society where more emerging adults are living at home, adulthood cannot be based upon markers such as living independently, but upon the deeper Biblical principles of Vocation, Autonomy, and Community.

2. New boundaries must be established within the home when a child moves home to further rather than delay the child’s development.  (Setting Boundaries While Living at Home)

3.  We must avoid criticizing or shaming those who live at home.   We must avoid criticizing or shaming parents who allow their children to live at home.

4.  We must be prepared to counsel emerging adults as they decide where to live, and how it will affect their lives (spiritually, mentally, physically, and financially).

This is only scratching the surface of this issue.  Please leave your thoughts below to further the discussion.

Other Links:

profil pictureDr. G. David Boyd is the Managing Director of EA Resources, a non-profit that seeks to equip those who minister to emerging adults.

Conversation, Empathy, and Emerging Adults – by Jana Sundene

Sapienta is an on-line resources that is sponsored by Trinity International University that focuses on research on emerging adulthood.  Jana Sundene, co-author of Shaping the Journey of Emerging Adults, wrote this great article concerning the affect of digital communication upon the empathy skills of emerging adults.  In this article, Jana conveys displays two things I love: a passion for emerging adults, and a positive perspective towards their impact upon the future of the church.  Here is the article…

Reclaiming Conversation by Sherry TurtleIt seems like every time I turn around I am hearing something about Sherry Turkle’s new book, Reclaiming Conversation: The Power of Talk in a Digital Age.Whether it is an interview, a podcast, an article or a review, this book appears to have hit a nerve with the general public.

Indeed, concern about how electronic devices and social media are affecting our relationships has been growing. I know it’s not just the older generations because very time I bring up this as a topic of discussion with the emerging adults in my college courses, the classroom lights up with comments and opinions.

Click here for the full article.

Here are some highlight quotes:

  • From David Setran – “While cell phones preserve connections with individuals in a variety of locations, they may also compromise the ability to be fully present in any one place. Many emerging adults prefer virtual dispersion to embodied and situated connections with God, people, and texts.”
  • Empathy, the ability to put ourselves in the place of the other, requires presence and is an important pre-requisite of compassion.
  • Their empathy, their strongest sense of compassion, seems to be toward groups of people who are “situated elsewhere.” This is a definitely a strength and a huge gift to offer to the church.

So next time you find yourself in a situation with an emerging adult, give them the gift of presence.  After bestowing this precious gift,  don’t expect or demand that it to be fully repaid.  Like other acts of giving, it should spring from an over-flowing heart, and lead by the tug of the Spirit.  

Dr. G. David Boyd is the Managing Director of EA Resources.

Millennials and the Fuss over Authenticity

Millennials value Authenticity. However, what does this really mean? People have asked me about what the Millennial’s meaning of authenticity, and how their perception is different than other generations.

There is a difference.

According to Karl Moore, in an article on Forbes called, “Authenticity:  The Way to the Millennial’s Heart”, he states that “We must better understand the postmodern worldview to effectively work with Millennials.”

I completely agree.

Photo courtesy of Aaron Robert Photography. Copyright 2014. www.aaronrobertphotography.com

I believe that many problems faced by the institutional church are based on the inability of modernistic leadership to lead, communicate, or attract those with a postmodern worldview.  The gap between these two ways of viewing ourselves, our world, and our God have erupted into multiple problems for church unity, and the Kingdom of God.  Unfortunately, many Christians believe that the Christian faith can only exist within a modern mindset, and therefore those who speak about postmodernism are enemies of God.

However, God is neither Modern nor Postmodern.

The Christian faith can flourish within both the failings of modernity and the weaknesses of postmodernity.  I don’t have time to go into all these differences; however, let’s take a look at the concept of authenticity.

A Postmodern View of Authenticity

Modernity valued science and system.  Postmodernity reveals that science is limited, and systems are always lacking.

Modernity gave us answers as reason reigned on high.   Postmodernity gives us perspectives as diversity reigns.

Authenticity has always been marked by a consistency between declared beliefs and actions.  It is a personal resiliency in the face of changing environments. This aspect of the word remains the same.

The difference between the authenticity of a Millennial and those of other generations is often due to scope. Millennials understand their limited perspective, and are hesitant go beyond those borders.

Photo courtesy of Aaron Robert Photography. Copyright 2014. www.aaronrobertphotography.com

Authenticity is limited to the essentials of firm personal beliefs rather than an array of causes and meanings that they are called upon to support from a church, a political party, or other clamoring institutions.  Those who call Millennials to adhere to set dogma will lose them. The louder the clamor, the faster they run.

It does not mean that they are against personal beliefs, but they are reluctant from having their beliefs be institutionalized.  Comprehensive theological systems are suspect, while individual freedom is applauded.  When the individual makes a commitment to an institution, they feel as if they have sold your personal perspective out. (Maybe this is why church membership is declining?  Source)

According to Moore, “Postmoderns want to be able to be themselves. They are not interested in playing “the game” their parents once did.” I am not a Millennial, but I remember growing up that our church used to condemn the playing of cards because they were a devise of the devil. It was part of the community’s dogma; however, our family always played with Euchre with cards.  When we attended church, we were sworn to secrecy. Millennials are not interested in this lifestyle; therefore, churches should only hold on to doctrine that is essential to their identity.

True authenticity doesn’t try to build a complete theological system, but acknowledges the gaps in their perspective.  It is not fearful of the holes in its worldview, and can be at rest with problems unresolved.

Millennials do not run from the truth.  I believe they are ruthless searchers for truth. They are not fearful of different perspectives. They value the input of others. They feel the stories of others enrich their lives rather than threaten them.

Authenticity is holding strictly to your individual beliefs rather than following an institution and adopting theological labels (such as premil/post-trib/Calvinist).

A call to authenticity often requires us to lead with the broken, the challenging, and the lacking in our lives. Not in order to find healing or fullness, but to acknowledge the humanity within each of us. It also requires us to support the perspective of others.

What do you think about authenticity?

 

david in hat - blackDr. G. David Boyd is the Founder and Managing Director of EA Resources.  He provides resources for parents, churches, and emerging adults.

 

Professor Threatens to Fail the Entire Class

What is the state of higher education in our nation?

Recent news coming from our nation’s universities can be described as anything – but pretty.

What happens when those within the system attempt to stand up against a flood of negative student, staff, or institutional behavior?

Recently, a professor at Texas A&M Galveston wrote an e-mail to his strategic management students that they were a disgrace, that they lacked maturity — and that he would fail the entire class. Irwin Horwitz, a proProfessor fails classfessor in the university’s department of maritime administration, decided that he had to act.

“Enough was enough,” Horwitz said. “It became apparent that they couldn’t do just some of the most simple and basic things that they should’ve been able to do at that point.”

Here is the full article.

The professor stepped down from teaching the class, and the class will now be taught by the head of the department.  The institution gave a public statement saying that the students will not be failed as a class, but will be judged according to their own individual work.

This story should raise questions about the roles and rights of students and professors.  Academic institutions are not controlled by the pursuit of knowledge.  They are governed by the flow of money which unfortunately tips power in favor of the consumer (who are the current and potential future students).

Average Educational Debt and Inflation

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https://twitter.com/wsj/status/467631829882007553

I found this chart on the Wall Street Journal, and wanted to share it with my readers.  While the economy has improved over the last three years, the gap between earnings and educational debt has continued to grow.

It is more crucial than ever for…

As the church, we must seek to minister to people in various stages of life and the challenges they are facing.  May God guide and empower you as you seek to care for the emerging adults in your life.  If I can help, please let me know.

david in hat - blackDr. G. David Boyd is the Founder and Managing Director of EA Resources, a non-profit designed to encourage parents and churches as they seek to minister to emerging adults.

 

 

Are you a Helicopter Parent? 10 Indicators of your Status

http://www.theonlinerocket.com/opinion/2014/09/11/helicopter-parents-ruin-college-life/#

1.    Have you filled out a college or job application for your child?

2.  Have you made a doctor’s appointment for your adult child?

3.  Do you text your child repeatedly only to be ignored?

4.  Does it bother you that you cannot check their missing homework assignments and grades on-line?

5.  Have you called or attempted to talk to your child’s professor?

6.  Do you regularly ask about what they ate for their last meal?

7.  Do you check their bank account balances?

8.  Do you still do their laundry?

9.  Are you still trying to determine their friends and dating partners?

10.  Do you need to have confirmation that they are home each night                and sleeping well?

While some of these questions might be appropriate for a parent to occasionally ask, if you answered yes to several of these questions, you are “hovering.”

If you answered yes,

9-10  You are hovering extremely low, and danger lies ahead for you and your child.

6-8 You are suffocating them, and any of their friends that you haven’t already scared away.

3-5 You are directly overhead, and your child is trying to run for cover.

1-2    Great job!  You have found new ways to show love to your child as they step into adulthood.

Dr. G. David Boyd is the Founder and Managing Director of EA Resources, a non-profit designed to encourage emerging adults and their parents.

 

 

 

 

Churches Seeking Millennials for all the Wrong Reasons

© 2013 NCinDC, Flickr | CC-BY-ND | via Wylio

What is fueling the fire among churches to reach Millennials?  Our motivation is important to consider before making decisions.  If your church is seeking to minister to Millennials, take a moment to ponder these misguided motivators.

1.  To Bring in Money

If you are looking to build your budget this way, you probably would have better luck winning the lottery.  While some emerging adults are actively giving to their communities, many emerging adults are struggling financially, and are not at a stage of life to make large contributions to their community.  Even among Christians who tithe, many emerging adults don’t believe that this concept is limited to local church giving, but have the freedom to give anywhere to further the Kingdom of God.  Regardless, money should not be a motivating fact when considering to whom God has called us to serve (James 2)

2.  To Maintain a “Youthful” Image

© 2008 Richard foster, Flickr | CC-BY-SA | via Wylio

Image is everything, and sometimes we target young couples to make ourselves appear fresh and vibrant.  Many churches fill their websites with pictures of hip young professionals and young families (Like this one to the left!).    Judging people and showing favoritism based upon the individual’s age (also called ageism) is wrong.

 

3.  To Secure the Future of the Church

The future of the church is not at stake.  It is God’s church, and He has always reserved a remnant of his people unto Himself (Romans 11:4).  If you have the attitude that the “sky is falling” in regards to Millennials and the future of the church, they will not come, but flee.

4.  To Keep the Youth Pastor Busy

© 2012 Mike Mozart, Flickr | CC-BY | via Wylio

Aside from the popular perception that youth workers only drink Mountain Dew while playing video games, many youth workers have zero to little margin in their work or private lives.  While this isn’t usually a reason why churches start an emerging adult ministry, youth workers are often the first person expected to lead this ministry.  Here are some reasons why I disagree.

5.  To Silence complaining Parents

Parents of emerging adults are struggling, and we should be providing encouragement (This is why EA Resources exists!); however, don’t allow your vision to be formed from discontent voices.  Just because an elder or core family is struggling is not sufficient to sustain a healthy ministry especially if that ministry is only to provide something for their “age group.”  It is important for churches to understand human development, and determine their vision for young adults.  (Here are some questions to guide your community to form a vision.)

While few churches would profess to these sources of motivation, the potential for these unhealthy motivators exists within EVERY church. 

If these motivators remain unbridled, then your ministry has a rough road ahead.  Remind your team regularly why Emerging Adults are important to the church, and why you are doing this work.

Here are some proper sources of motivation:

© 2007 Atli Harðarson, Flickr | CC-BY-ND | via Wylio

They are the Lost Sheep.

Emerging adults are not attending our community, but God has called us to love them.  Let us go out and seek after those who have left the church, and try to understand why they have left.  Let us seek a humble heart, and ask God how He can use us to bring them back.

They are Lost among the flock.

Emerging adults are members of our community, and so we need to seek to minister to them.  They are sticking around, and you are not sure what to do about it.  Rather than just start an extension of youth group or pushing them to serve in youth ministry, the church needs to determine what do we expect of them, and how can we help them fully mature. (Click Here to Read How you can Start!)

The Flock needs them.

We need them as much as they need us. (Read More – The Disfigured body of Christ)

david in hat - blackDr. G. David Boyd is the Founder and Managing Director of EA Resources.  He has a passion to equip parents and churches to understand the emerging adults in their lives.  If he can help you or your community, contact him at gdavid@earesources.org.

 

7 Reasons NOT to bring Emerging Adults under your Youth Ministry

Photo Courtesy of Aaron Robert Photography. Copyright 2014. www.aaronrobertphotography.com

One of the first obstacles to overcome when a community desires to minister to emerging adults is the question of leadership.  As already overwhelmed staff and volunteers exchanged fearful glances around the table, this question of responsibility often keeps church communities from moving ahead.  Continue reading

Essential Website Resources for those Ministering to Emerging Adults

Lgroup of eaast week, I shared some free on-line resources for parents of emerging adults.  If you missed it, you can find it – HERE!

While there are not many free on-line resources for those seeking to help emerging adults, here are a few that I have found essential.

  •  FullerYouthInstitute.   I appreciate all the work done by Dr. Kara Powell and her team.  The link above provides many free resources to churches.
  • SSEA.org – The Society for the Study of Emerging Adulthood is an organization launched by Jeffrey Arnett.  They provide a listing of free resources for those interested in studying young adults.
  • Chuck Bomar’s Blog.  Chuck has written several books about college ministry and the changing world of emerging adult faith.
  • CollegeLeader.org.  An organization that has spun off from Chuck Bomar.  The blog is not regularly up-dated, but contains articles that apply directly towards those doing college ministry.
  • EA Resources – Emerging Adult Resources is my favorite – of course!  Our desire is to design and publish resources for churches, parents, and emerging adults.   Click here, if you want to join our team to make this happen.

If you would like to recommend a website to this list, please contact Dr. G. David Boyd at gdavid@earesources.org.

How to Fix your credit after Falling on Hard Times

Scrabble Series Debt from Flickr via Wylio

© 2012 Chris Potter, Flickr | CC-BY | via Wylio

A range of circumstances can damage your credit. Loss of your job, getting behind on various loan payments, and carrying a high balance on your credit card can contribute to bad credit. As you begin the credit repair journey, it’s important to stay positive and to focus on doing it the right way. By having faith and taking control of the matter in a mature and morally responsible way, you can get your credit score back up again.

Ways to Repair Credit After Bankruptcy

Dire circumstances can sometimes force us to file for bankruptcy. After doing so, you must first understand where you stand. Firstly, you should know your credit score, which can be obtained for free once a year from Annual Credit Report. Know that filing for bankruptcy deeply hurts your credit (from 130 to 240 points), so prepare to see a low number. Check for any errors on the report, and notify the credit bureaus if you find any. Credit reporting errors can seriously damage your score.

Not all types of debt can be eliminated in bankruptcy, such as tax debts and student loans. Make a chart of these debts and then highlight those that have high balances or high interest rates.

Once you have a clear picture of what you owe, you need to figure out ways to get your balances lower, as making payments on time and lowering balances is the best way to improve credit. Another option is to open new lines of credit and paying off your balance each month.

Credit Cards from Flickr via Wylio

© 2014 Sean MacEntee, Flickr | CC-BY | via Wylio

Change your financial habits as well. Repent for past mistakes by setting a financial plan for the future and having the willpower to stick to it. Have payment reminders sent to you so you know when money is due. Resist the temptation to spend on things you don’t need. Self-control can help a lot here, as you can put more money in your pocket each month with simple lifestyle changes, such as eating out less, renting movies instead of going to the theater, and carpooling to work. If you can, find extra work by using your networks in the neighborhood, at church, and within your family.

Ways to Repair Credit After Foreclosure

Anything from unemployment and underemployment to overspending can cause foreclosure. Losing your home is emotionally difficult, and sometimes it’s hard to focus on getting back on track.

The first thing you should do is make sure you and your family have a safe and affordable place to live. The monthly payment shouldn’t exceed 28 percent of your monthly income. Understand that you won’t be able to get a mortgage for three to seven years. Stay patient and positive, and work to rebuild your credit during this time.

Address your current financial situation and review all your debts. Plan to pay those with the highest interest rates and balances first. View your credit score, but don’t get too distraught even though it’s probably down anywhere from 85 to 160 points. Faith and the motivation to make positive changes are what you need, not negativity.

Work on ways to cut down on expenses and continue to pay down debt. Put those credit cards away unless you absolutely have to use them. Discipline is what you need right now.

Fixing your credit after falling on hard times takes patience, self-control, and willpower. It’s a long road, but the right blend of faith, lifestyle changes, and careful planning can put you on the bright road to credit recovery.

Jesse Woodhouse is a Team Lead at TopTenReviews. He is a proud husband and father and loves sports, music and the outdoors.