Tag Archives: Sexuality

Does a church’s views on sexuality alienate emerging adults?

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Some research was released this week from the Pew Research Group regarding whether or not Americans believe that churches alienate young adults because of their beliefs on sexuality.

Here is the Link.  (You will have to scroll down to Section IV.)

When asked whether or not faith groups are driving away younger Americans because of intolerant views of gay and lesbian people, 50% of Americans said no.  When asked this same question in 2013, 58% of Americans said no.

The drop in this statistic could reveal the number of religious communities that are now more inclusive of the LGBT community.  The drop could also reflect how churches have become more nuanced, and aware of how to discuss these issues in the public square without causing offense.

Source: http://www.prri.org/research/lgbt-transgender-bathroom-discrimination-religious-liberty/

When the same question was asked to emerging adults (18-29 year olds), 60% of Millennials stated that churches are driving away younger Americans due to intolerance.  This number reflects a drop of 13% when compared to when this same question was asked in 2013.

 

Points for Consideration:

  • Emerging adults themselves are the best group to discuss this question, and I feel that their age group most accurately reflects the views of their generation.
  • Emerging adults who grow up within a community, and continues to share those same beliefs are less likely to feel these beliefs repel people their age (because those beliefs did not repel them).
  • These statistics do not show that changing your beliefs will cause more emerging adults to come racing to your church.  But they do reflect that these views, may become obstacles to new emerging adults joining your community.
  • Beliefs do matter.  The stance that your community takes (or refuses to take) on various issues does affect who will or will not walk through the doors of your building.
  • As emerging adults have become less tied to institutions, emerging adults may attend a church regardless of whether or not they agree with the church on a particular issue.  Emerging adults are not afraid to establish their own beliefs separate from the church. 

Although 60% is still extremely high, in regards to relating to and ministering to emerging adults, the positive news is that no group shifted in their perspective more positively than emerging adults.

Dr. G. David Boyd is the Managing Director of EA Resources.  He is also the Founder of the EA Network, a group of individuals driven to minister to the needs of emerging adults.  If he can help your church minister to the needs of emerging adults, please contact him at gdavid@earesources.org.

 

 

 

3 Ways to Not Talk to Your Child about Sex – Guest Post

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Messages about sex fill our society, and many of the messages are not healthy.  In our sex-saturated society it is crucial that we speak to our children about their sexuality.

As fathers, it can be intimidating, but don’t worry…

  •   you don’t have to cover it all at once (but it should be the first of many conversations).
  •   you don’t have to know everything about it.
  •   you don’t have to be smooth and polished.

However, don’t wait until you feel ready or you may never do it.  Here is an article that I recently found that provides parents some pointers when talking to your children about sex.

In my conversations with emerging adults and teens around the country, one theme continually roars up to the surface…no one is talking with Christians about sexuality. I know that kind of statement colors way too many people with the same drab crayon, but my own research, and that of a lot of other good people studying the sexuality among Christian folks, makes it pretty clear that the exceptions are few – especially in the mainstream evangelical world.

Read the remainder of the article HERE!

memeupdated

Picture Source: http://adammearse.com

Adam Mearse is a pastor and blogger at www.AdamMearse.com.

Millennials, Sexuality, and Reproductive Health Survey

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New Research was released earlier this year discussing the views of Millennials towards sex and reproductive heath.  It studied 2,314 Millennials between the ages of 18-34.

Here is a link if you want to read it – Click Here!

Here is a link if you want to watch a video – Click Here!  Warning – It is 2 hours long!

The 2015 Millennials, Sexuality, and Reproductive Health Survey was released on Friday, March 27 at The Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation in Washington, D.C.   by the Public Religion Research Institute.

It is a fascinating read for pastors, leaders, and parents of Emerging Adults.  Here are a few fascinating notes:

  • When evaluating the morality of sexual behaviors, millennials generally do not make black-and white judgments, but rather factor circumstances into their reasoning.
  • On the issue of abortion, millennials strongly factor specific circumstances into their moral evaluations.
  • Millennials view women having a full-time job as a less serious problem for families than men who concentrate too much on work.
  •  One-third (33%) of millennials are religiously unaffiliated, making it the single most common religious identity among this generation.

There is so much in this study, and I hope to dive more into this research in the weeks to come, and what it means for the church.  If you want to support my research, please contact me, or donate here.

David Boyd 1 (1)

Dr. G. David Boyd is the Founder and Managing Director of EA Resources, a non-profit designed to equip parents and churches to minister to Emerging Adults.

 

Is your church TONE deaf?

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Some churches don’t realize how they sound.  Their worship team is spot on.  Their videos are hip.  Their choir is rocking the platform, but they are way off when it comes to dealing with their tone in dealing with the issues that affect people in the pew.

As the church, we need to be aware of not just what we say (asking, “Is it Biblical?”), but we also need to be concerned with how we say it.  When dealing with the relevant issues being discussed within the church including:  hell, sexuality, war, or money.  It is often not what is said, but how it was said that people remember.

What tone of voice should we seek?

© 2008 Michael Tracey, Flickr | CC-BY | via Wylio

Our audience should moved towards or away from the gospel not by the tone of our voice, but by content of our message.  The message of the gospel is offense without our help (1 Corinthians 1:18-25).  The radical discipleship required by Christ is a stumbling block for people, but some churches build extra barriers because of the way they address issues, and share their beliefs.

So, as we share a message of hope and healing.  Here are a few points:

 

 

 

A.  Humility versus Piety.

© 2008 Steve Cadman, Flickr | CC-BY-SA | via Wylio

 

Speakers should have experienced the grace, healing, and forgiveness of God in the area being discusseed.  People identify with brokenness and restoration much more than piety and morals without a personal context.  If you are discussing sexuality, then have someone speak who was broken, and has found healing.  Speaking from a places of brokeness in any issue, communicates authenticity, humility, and hope.

 

B.  Tone-deaf need not apply.  

© 2013 Soumyadeep Paul, Flickr | CC-BY | via Wylio

Whether privately or publicly, tone-deaf people should not be in positions of relational or platform ministry.  I am not talking about sweet Florence (a founding member of the church choir) who cannot stay on pitch.  I am talking about allowing Elder “Knows-all” onto the platform who cannot hear, understand, or control his/her tone.  While most people can be taught how to control their tone, others naturally possess an ability to read and respond to others.

C.   Tone should be Planned.  

Decisions of tone should be discussed and determined when deciding the topic of messages.  Tone provides direction for crafting a message, and cannot be left to the last minute.  Staff or leadership should do a discussion about the topic, and what they want to communicate to their community, rather than one person dictating what is being said.

D.  Dig deeper than, “Speak the truth in love.”

This expression although true has become a cliche to support our current practices.  Churches need to examine what speaking in love really means for their community.  Are we responsible simply for what we say, or for how the audience feels?  Discussions of our methods of communication need regularly examined in light of the love we are called to have for our neighbor.

E.  Review your Tone.

Do you take the time to reflect on how past worship services or other pieces of communication were perceived by the audience?  Many churches may have people reviewing the services, but it includes the same people who planned the service, or people from similar demographic backgrounds.  Diversity is important when evaluating what was said.  Our tone may have been perceived differently to different generations.  How we address an issue to one group may have sounded gracious, while those from a different generation may feel it was overbearing.  Seek diversity, and learn from the different perspectives.

As a church, may God guide you as you seek to be a voice of healing and hope to our rapidly changing world.

David Boyd 1 (1)Dr. G. David Boyd is the Founder and Managing Director of EA Resources.  He is not tone-deaf, but loves to sing next to those who are.  If you would like him to help your church minister to Millennials (and those who love them), contact him at gdavid@earesources.org.

 

 

Premature Intimacy

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the guy and the girlI believe in purity. I believe in purity rings. I believe in setting physical boundaries in relationships in order to keep from hurting ourselves and others. This is something that is often taught, lectured, and discussed in Christian circles. However, I think we are missing something. Something BIG. Continue reading →