EA Resources | Tag | high school

As a high school junior, I got my first job working in a small independent bookstore. Our small staff loved each other, and what we did. I left school early to work each afternoon, and then on Saturdays. I have to admit that it was a great job – no sweating in the summer heat, or over a grill.

My job taught me a lot, and made me excited not just about the money, but about what I learned. Since then, my jobs have not all been that fun (painting the behind urinals at a local prison) or easy (like scraping windows on the third story of scaffolding), but my first job taught me to love work, and to work hard.

How to help your child thrive at their first job.

1. Clarify priorities.

The ability to make decisions based upon priorities is important skill as many will go to college where the academic and social options are endless. Guide your child as they set their priorities. One parent states: “We encourage(d) our kids to prioritize: God, family, school, athletics & activities and finally work.” Whether or not you agree with this family’s priorities, the discussion of priorities is essential.

When different opportunities arise (like school, work, or sports), adolescents need to learn the ability to say no to certain activities based on their priorities. One Emerging Adult reflects on how their choice to work affected other areas of their life. “For me, work took the place of several extra-curricular activities.” Do not allow your children to participate in everything, but force them to make choices at they get older.

2. Set boundaries.

When adding a new role as worker (or employee), it is important for adolescents to set boundaries. While vocational development and earning money may be important, it is not the only piece of your child’s development. Therefore parents must help adolescents choose and uphold boundaries.

Here are some questions to discuss with your child:

a. Will your child be allowed to work during family worship time?

b. Will your child be allowed to miss other church activities? (Like youth group or retreats.)

c. When will your child have access to a car?

d. What hours/days of the week will your child be allowed to work?

e. Are there restrictions on how paychecks will be spent?

f. Who is responsible to pay for gas, insurance for the car?

One family described their rules, “[Our children] couldn’t work more than 15 hours a week. They had to keep their grades up, to tithe (however much God led them to), and to save a little from each paycheck.

When a child [or their workplace] crosses a boundary, a parent has the right to enforce them. This is not interfering, but parenting. A parent does hold the ability to tell an adolescent that they can no longer work. While living with their parents, our children need to know that holding a job, like all other adolescent activities is a privilege, and not their right. Like other privileges, this freedom can be removed.

3. Discuss expectations.

We all have expectations in life. Sometimes adolescents know and communicate these expectation, but at others times they are hidden. If you want your child’s first work experience to be a success, discuss their expectations. Ask your child what they expect in the areas of pay, hours, the type of work, the work environment, and their interactions with others. If their expectations are unrealistic, help them research the facts on-line, rather than simply bursting their bubble. Help them envision and define what success will look like for them whether it is becoming a manager, or making a friend.

Not everyone will have a dream job while in high school, but it can be a positive experience when priorities are established, expectations are discussed, and boundaries are set. So whether your child is digging dirt, flipping burgers, or selling books – guide them in how to have a healthy perspective of vocation.

Dr. G. David Boyd is the Founder and Managing Director of EA Resources. He is thankful for all those who helped him survive and thrive during his vocational journey.

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While “Go Get a Job” can become the go-to response for parents whose children are regularly asking for money, getting a job is a big decision for both adolescents and their parents. The purpose of this article is to help parents think through the reasons why an adolescents should get a job. While getting your child away from the house may be helpful, as one parent said, “There needs to be a measurable, attainable goal.”

Here are some good reasons to allow your adolescent to “Go Get a Job:”

1. Financial Need

Parents should communicate to their children through word and deed that they are not a source of endless money regardless of their life stage. One parents says, “Whether or not my children get a job is up to them, but I will not be handing out free money.” Saying no to your children’s financial demands is great motivation for them to get a job, and develops a sense of personal autonomy.

I have seen so many parents take second jobs, and work around the clock in order to fulfill each demand of their adolescent children. This is especially true in today’s world when college is perceived as an entitlement rather than an opportunity. Speak regularly with your adolescents to set their expectations about college. One parent says her children, “worked hard for the privilege of getting a higher education. I don’t think they’ll take it for granted, ever.” Parents should not be seen as benefactors of their children, but both children and parents are participants within the family system.

2. Learn Skills

Entry-level jobs can teach skills that are key to life development. One emerging adults states, “A job helped me to learn skills to keep a work schedule, manage my own money and time, and interact with managers, bosses, and coworkers.” Another Emerging Adult says, “As a soccer referee, I learned how to treat people professionally even when they don’t reciprocate.” This emerging adult took his soccer knowledge, and turned it into a vocational skill. Skills learned by adolescents include: responsibility, time management, the value of work, working with others, working with customers, computer skills, dealing with authority, and business etiquette.

3. Discern Vocation

Adolescents are ready to begin a life-long journey of finding work that will provide for themselves and those they love. In these early jobs, emerging adults can learn what type of work fulfills them. For example, an adolescent can learn whether they enjoy working with people, or working alone. One emerging adult reflects, “I wish looking back that I had invested more in jobs that would have prepared me for a career after school, by focusing on getting administrative or service experience. Instead, I went for what worked with my schedule and paid the most.”

4. Social Skills

While getting your kid out of the house should not be the only motivation, your child must learn to develop new social networks. Learning social skills including: listening, following authority, smiling, contributing to conversations, and managing conflict are crucial. One emerging adult shares their experience. “I just liked the job, because I had a friend who worked there so we had a blast working together, and all the adults in the place loved us and treated us like their kids. I’m still FB friends with most of them.” Sometimes parents want to protect our children from outside influences during high school; however, it is important that adolescents are able to build their own social network.

5. Learn Autonomy

A workplace setting will require the adolescent to develop autonomy. As a parent, you must allow them to make their own decisions and face the consequences. It is not your job to wake them up for work each morning, to call their boss, or to fill out their paperwork. If an adolescent’s first job comes through family connections, it is even more important that parents stay out of their work world, and allow the child to achieve or fail based upon their own performance.

There are several reasons to encourage your children venture out into the world of work. One parent writes, “each family has to look at the individual kid and see what makes sense for them and the family. Every child will be different.”

May God guide you as you reflect on your child’s developmental needs.

Dr. G. David Boyd is the Founder and Managing Director of EA Resources.