T
he college years have traditionally been a time for young people to be challenged by new ideas, learn to think critically, and assume greater responsibility for their lives, as they assume their roles as adult citizens. Unfortunately, the past few years have witnessed high levels of emotional dependency, anxiety, and depression among American college students. Continue reading
Tag Archives: helicopter parenting
Signs of Helicopter Parenting – A Visual Guide by Hannah Marks
I recently came across a visual guide that describes Helicopter Parenting and its affects upon emerging adults. While many adults want to give their children autonomy, not all parents recognize when they are too involved in the lives of their children.
Hannah Marks is the Outreach Manager of the Yellowbrick Program. You can access the full article at www.yellowbrickprogram.com.
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Wholeness Parenting: An Alternative to Helicopter Parenting
I came across an article that provides an alternative to the dreaded “Helicopter Parenting.” (What is Helicopter Parenting?)
The article is written from a Faith perspective by Lisa Jo Baker, a mother of younger children.
As parents, it is crucial that you allow your children to develop autonomy – the ability to make decisions and deal with the consequences. (Click Here to read more!)
If you would like to provide an alternative to helicopter-parenting to your church community, please contact me at gdavid@earesources.org.
Kids of Helicopter Parents Are Sputtering Out
Here is an excerpt from How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success by Julie Lythcott-Haims.
I haven’t read the book yet, but it is now on my reading list!
Here is the link to the article.
Here are few quotes:
- “The data emerging confirms the harm done by asking so little of our kids when it comes to life skills, yet so much of them when it comes to academics.” Maturity and success as an adult is not based upon academic rigor.
- “My guess is 75 percent of the parents would rather see their kids depressed at Yale. They figure that the kid can straighten the emotional stuff out in his/her 20’s, but no one can go back and get the Yale undergrad degree.” As a parent, is your concern for their achievement, or their emotional health?
- “As parents, our intentions are sound—more than sound: We love our kids fiercely and want only the very best for them. Yet, having succumbed to a combination of safety fears, a college admissions arms race, and perhaps our own needy ego, our sense of what is “best” for our kids is completely out of whack.” Do you allow your children the freedom to succeed or fail without becoming overly involved or emotional?
It is crucial for parents to allow their emerging adults to develop autonomy – which is the ability to make decisions and deal with the consequences.
Are you a Helicopter Parent? 10 Indicators of your Status
http://www.theonlinerocket.com/opinion/2014/09/11/helicopter-parents-ruin-college-life/#
1. Have you filled out a college or job application for your child?
2. Have you made a doctor’s appointment for your adult child?
3. Do you text your child repeatedly only to be ignored?
4. Does it bother you that you cannot check their missing homework assignments and grades on-line?
5. Have you called or attempted to talk to your child’s professor?
6. Do you regularly ask about what they ate for their last meal?
7. Do you check their bank account balances?
8. Do you still do their laundry?
9. Are you still trying to determine their friends and dating partners?
10. Do you need to have confirmation that they are home each night and sleeping well?
While some of these questions might be appropriate for a parent to occasionally ask, if you answered yes to several of these questions, you are “hovering.”
If you answered yes,
9-10 You are hovering extremely low, and danger lies ahead for you and your child.
6-8 You are suffocating them, and any of their friends that you haven’t already scared away.
3-5 You are directly overhead, and your child is trying to run for cover.
1-2 Great job! You have found new ways to show love to your child as they step into adulthood.
Dr. G. David Boyd is the Founder and Managing Director of EA Resources, a non-profit designed to encourage emerging adults and their parents.