Tag Archives: Faith

National Network for those who Minister to Emerging Adults

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In the 1960’s, Wayne Rice and Mike Yacconeli came together to convince the church that ministering to youth was essential for the health of the church.  Their vision turned into the organization Youth Specialties.    According to Mike, “We sure didn’t know where youth ministry or our little company was headed.  All we knew was that God was somehow inviting us into this thing.”

group of girls2

Copyright 2014 by Aaron Robert Photography. Used with permission.

 

Our culture has shifted in the past fifty years, changing the role of church within our country, the role of faith within the life of the individual, and the metanarrative of human development.   These shifts have altered our perception of human development and created a new life phase called “Emerging Adulthood.”

As our world rapidly changes, there is a great need for those ministering to emerging adults to stand and work together.

Together we can accomplish more for the Kingdom.  Together we can…

Gather resources, share ideas, and speak as one that we might attract the attention of others.

But it is more than that… we must awaken the voices of EA’s so they can share.  Give them platforms so they can be heard.  We must show emerging adults that we are listening.  We will convince them that they are not the object of our work, but that side-by-side, we will labor.

group of girls

Copyright 2014 by Aaron Robert Photography. Used with permission.

For in this unity, the church will become all that she was intended to be.

That her body might be whole, and that her beauty might be revealed through diversity as the generations worship our bride – Jesus Christ.

I have glimpses of the vision.  I have two hands, one of which holds a pen.  I have pennies in a bucket.  I know a few people who stand beside me in this work.

It is not much, but it is a start.

Who has hands that are ready to work?    

Who has resources to contribute to this movement?  

Who has the connections to get the ball rolling?  

Who has a passion that cannot be contained? 

Who has a vision of what could be?  

Not for the sake of any organization, but for the sake of the Kingdom.  Not for the sake of another conference, but for our common purpose.  Not for the sake of another voice, but a medium through which we can hear His voice.

To whoever has resources, let them give. To whoever has hands, here is a shovel.  To whoever has a vision, let them speak.

If you resonate with this call, you may have something to contribute.  Please contact me.

May we together step forward in faith, and look forward to seeing what God will do.

profil pictureDr. G. David Boyd is the Founder and Managing Director of EA Resources, a non-profit designed to help churches and parents understand emerging adulthood.

Made for Maturity – Maslow’s Basic Human Needs and Human Development

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https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maslow%27s_hierarchy_of_needs

When discussing basic human needs, most people are familiar with the work of Maslow and his pyramid of basic humans needs.  Maslow’s five basic human needs were:  physical, safety, social, esteem, and self-actualization.  His pyramid was built upon the premise that when one need is fulfilled a person seeks to fulfill the next one.  Maslow believed that people are motivated to achieve certain basic needs. For example, after sitting on a couch for several hours, our physiological need to eat, drink, or go to the bathroom will pull us away from any video game not matter how exciting (or mind-numbing).

Maslow Hierarchy - Up-dated

Maslow’s Hierarchy up-dated for today’s wired world.

My three developmental tasks of adulthood – discovering vocation, developing community, and establishing autonomy– are internally motivated because humans were created with desires to love, to be free, and to be needed.  These basic human needs are based upon God’s creative design.  Since each developmental tasks is rooted in a basic human need, individuals do not need to be convinced of their importance, but will naturally work towards their fulfillment.

Vocation – Humans desire to be needed.

Humans desire to have a role in their world that makes an impact upon our self and the lives of others.  Vocation provides us the ability to be useful and make a difference in this world.  While paid vocation often fulfills other human desires (like income for physiological needs and security), it also fulfills our God-given desire to work, create, and design.  God is a worker, and is glorified as we follow His ways.  Work was not a result of the fall, but the ability to work is a gift (Genesis 3:17-18).

 Autonomy – Humans desire to be free.

Regardless of your theological beliefs concerning determinism or free-will, thoughts of being controlled or unable to affect the outcome of your life can lead to depression, anxiety, or apathy.  Autonomy is the ability to make decisions and deal with the consequences.  A sense of autonomy allows the individual to see they can make decisions that will change the outcome of their life.  Autonomy provides hope and motivation to the individual to affect our current circumstances.

Community – Humans desire to be loved.

We seek community because we desire to love and to be loved.  Our God is capable of love, and of relationships with His creation.  Veith states, “From the beginning, God put us in families, tribes, societies.  God ordained that we be in relationships.  He ordained that we need each other.”  (God at Work, 2002, 41).

When our basic needs (vocation, autonomy, and community) are unmet, we are motivated to action.  Our desires increase in intensity the longer they remain unmet.  A lack of desire to meet these needs can be rooted in a disability, an addiction (drugs, alcohol, or entertainment) or depression.

The church must seek to meet the needs of emerging adults, through offering assistance in their journey to meet the basic human needs of vocation, autonomy, and community.  I believe that church who create mentoring environments focused on these needs will draw and retain emerging adults.

Dr. G. David Boyd is the Founder and Managing Director of EA Resources, a non-profit that exists to help parents and churches understand the challenges of emerging adulthood.

 

 

Living With Your Parents: How to Make It Work

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I came across an article, and wanted to pass it along!

It’s not all bad; it’s also not all good.

Photo of a young adult Asian woman living with her parentsSo it happened. You thought you’d be on your own by now, but you’re not. Whether you’re trying to land a steady job, get out of debt, or finish college on the eight-year plan, if you’re living with your parents as a 20-something, you’re not alone. More than a third of 18 to 31 year olds are living with their parents, according to the Current Population Survey. Continue reading →

What It’s Really Like To Move Back In With Your Parents

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Over the past few years, the percentage of 25-to-34-year-old Americans living with their parents has been at a record high of nearly 15%. Student debt and difficulty finding a job are sending millennials back home in droves — and though this type of arrangement is certainly easier on the wallet, it can wreak havoc on a young adult’s self-image.

Here is the full article.

I don’t really agree with everything in the article.  The article is not based upon research, but it based upon three women’s experiences.  However, I do know that emerging adults have varied and complex emotions when moving back home which is partially due to societal pressure, and their desire to feel like an “adult.”

Research indicates that most parents and emerging adults enjoy their time spent at home.  In his book, Arnett says, “When kids boomerang home, they bring more pleasure than pain. (Arnett, xi)  The book also says that “Of the parents who have an emerging adult child living with them, 61 percent describe their feelings about it as “mostly positive” and only 6 percent describe the experience as “mostly negative.”

For this reason, it is important we redefine adulthood according to the three developmental tasks rather than where you sleep at night.

Resources:

Getting to 30 by Jeffrey Arnett and Fishel

Living at Home as a Adult / Living at Home as a Child – Which are you?

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According to research, “40% of 18 to 34 year olds are living at home with one parent or both.  Looking at the younger, 18-to 24 year-old group, more than half have moved back home, at least for a time, in the past few years- or never moved out.  Ther percentage is about the same for men and women.  (Arnett, Getting them to 30, 109)front door

In a society where more emerging adults are living at home, adulthood cannot be based upon markers such as living independently, but upon the deeper Biblical principles of Vocation, Autonomy, and Community.

While living at home still carries a negative stigma in many social circles, living at home is not always a negative experience – for the child or the parent.  “Almost 70% of young people 18-34 who are living at home with their parents say they are very satisfied with family life.”  (Arnett, 110)

In this video, the speaker makes several points to illustrate the difference between someone who lives with parents as an adult versus someone who lives at home with an immature perspective.

Here is a link to the full video.

Living at Home

www.youtube.com/watch?v=UGV_YBM0KXQ

The video states that those who live at home as a Child…

  • treat the home as a hotel.
  • are frivolous spenders.
  • always have something to prove.

Those who live at home as an Adult…

  • always contribute.
  • are not afraid to serve parents and siblings.
  • respect their parents wishes and home.

While the fact that you are living with your parents does not make you a child, how you act while living at home does indicate your maturity.

One of the first points made in the video is that there are several healthy reasons why children choose to live with their parents (including finances and physical health).  While the predominant western mindset values living independently, many cultures have always valued communal living for extended families.

So are you living at home like an Adult or a Child?

Other Links:

Boomerang Kids – What does this trend mean for the church?

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I came across an article this week that focuses on the increase of women who are living at home.  While the article focuses on the increase of women, the numbers of women and men living with their parents continues to increase.

Here is the full article.

We need to explore what this trend means for the church.

What does this trend mean for parents, educators, and those who minister to emerging adults?

1.  In a society where more emerging adults are living at home, adulthood cannot be based upon markers such as living independently, but upon the deeper Biblical principles of Vocation, Autonomy, and Community.

2. New boundaries must be established within the home when a child moves home to further rather than delay the child’s development.  (Setting Boundaries While Living at Home)

3.  We must avoid criticizing or shaming those who live at home.   We must avoid criticizing or shaming parents who allow their children to live at home.

4.  We must be prepared to counsel emerging adults as they decide where to live, and how it will affect their lives (spiritually, mentally, physically, and financially).

This is only scratching the surface of this issue.  Please leave your thoughts below to further the discussion.

Other Links:

profil pictureDr. G. David Boyd is the Managing Director of EA Resources, a non-profit that seeks to equip those who minister to emerging adults.

Conversation, Empathy, and Emerging Adults – by Jana Sundene

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Sapienta is an on-line resources that is sponsored by Trinity International University that focuses on research on emerging adulthood.  Jana Sundene, co-author of Shaping the Journey of Emerging Adults, wrote this great article concerning the affect of digital communication upon the empathy skills of emerging adults.  In this article, Jana conveys displays two things I love: a passion for emerging adults, and a positive perspective towards their impact upon the future of the church.  Here is the article…

Reclaiming Conversation by Sherry TurtleIt seems like every time I turn around I am hearing something about Sherry Turkle’s new book, Reclaiming Conversation: The Power of Talk in a Digital Age.Whether it is an interview, a podcast, an article or a review, this book appears to have hit a nerve with the general public.

Indeed, concern about how electronic devices and social media are affecting our relationships has been growing. I know it’s not just the older generations because very time I bring up this as a topic of discussion with the emerging adults in my college courses, the classroom lights up with comments and opinions.

Click here for the full article.

Here are some highlight quotes:

  • From David Setran – “While cell phones preserve connections with individuals in a variety of locations, they may also compromise the ability to be fully present in any one place. Many emerging adults prefer virtual dispersion to embodied and situated connections with God, people, and texts.”
  • Empathy, the ability to put ourselves in the place of the other, requires presence and is an important pre-requisite of compassion.
  • Their empathy, their strongest sense of compassion, seems to be toward groups of people who are “situated elsewhere.” This is a definitely a strength and a huge gift to offer to the church.

So next time you find yourself in a situation with an emerging adult, give them the gift of presence.  After bestowing this precious gift,  don’t expect or demand that it to be fully repaid.  Like other acts of giving, it should spring from an over-flowing heart, and lead by the tug of the Spirit.  

Dr. G. David Boyd is the Managing Director of EA Resources.

How to Plan a Gap Year – Resources

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Bluff sign from Flickr via Wylio

© 2006 Will Ellis, Flickr | CC-BY | via Wylio

The American Gap Association is a great resource for those taking a Gap Year.

They have compiled a great FREE guide on how to plan a gap year.

You can download their guide Here!

For a Christian perspective on Gap Years, please check out “God in the Gap Year” by Derek Melby.  You can download this resources here.

The Power of Generational Mediators

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A “mediator” serves as a conduit, or channel, between two parties in conflict, seeking to ensure that both feel understood, respected, and able to contribute towards an agreeable solution.

As a pastor, I have served as a mediator numerous times – negotiating house rules, establishing consensus over new policies in the church, or seeking healing in a relationship.

© 2010 Eric Danley, Flickr | CC-BY | via Wylio

Within the church, disagreements can erupt between different generations due to disparate values, beliefs, and practices. I have stood up in defense of Millennials amidst a boardroom of angry Baby boomers, and I have defused frustration among disillusioned Millennials in hallway conversations.

As churches seek to become more intergenerational in their programming, conflict will inevitably arise. Does your community have people who are equipped to serve as intermediaries between the generations? Mediators of generational conflict can restore peace and unity in three ways.

1.    Mediators understand.

Effective mediators are “swift to hear, slow to speak.” (James 1:19) They ask great questions and are motivated to understand another’s perspective. They want to know the “what,” but will keep digging until they also discover the “whys.” Before bringing together conflicting parties, mediators will seek to understand each group’s desires, values, and practices.

2.     Mediators translate.

During times of conflict, fear and anger can limit or completely block reasonable communication. Mediators are able to remove these obstacles and promote effective communication. By knowing those involved, they will choose words and expressions designed to calm emotions and facilitated mutual understanding between the parties. Fruitful mediation takes time, and all sides must remain patient through the process, believing the results will be worth the effort.

3.    Mediators build bridges.

In the midst of discord, we tend to focus on our differences and perceive our opposition as villains. Dehumanizing others relieves our own sense of guilt, allowing us to justify hurtful words, thoughts, and actions. Mediators remind each side of their common ground, and build bridges towards mutual respect, understanding, and love. As human beings, we can always find some common ground in personal fears, dreams, and emotions. Within the church, mediators lead us to our common ground in Jesus and His call upon our lives.

If your community seeks to become intergenerational, who has God provided as potential mediators?  Seek out and train individuals who are able to value varied perspectives, who can communicate with patience, and who know how to build bridges upon common faith and love.  Well-trained mediators are essential to maintaining a healthy, united community.

Dr. G. David Boyd is the Founder and Managing Director of EA Resources.  This article first appeared on ChurchCentral.com, where David is a regular contributor.