Tag Archives: Faith

Prerequisite for Intergenerational Ministry

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Recent research was released by the Pew Research Center, displaying “the Millennial Exodus” from the church. I believe that one reason why young adults leave the church is because of Ageism.

© 2007 Florencia&Pe, Flickr | CC-BY | via Wylio

Ageism is prejudice or discrimination based upon age.  “Ageism” was first coined by Robert Neil Butler in 1971, and is displayed through stereotyping various ages and generations, disdain and avoiding contact with different age-groups, and practices that discriminate services based upon age. While the elderly are often the targets of ageism, emerging adults are also victims of its abuse.

Ageism raises it head ever time that jokes are made about a certain demographic within the church.  Ageism smiles when roadblocks keep the young (and old) from leadership and service roles.  Ageism cheers in victory when the “youth” alone are designated for a specific project of the church.  Ageism reigns when generations glare across the aisle at one another rather than standing hand in hand.

© 2007 Mike Renlund, Flickr | CC-BY | via Wylio

The Good News according to Erdman Palmore is that “Religious organization are uniquely able to use exhortation to reduce ageism because most people belong to one and because they can call on the authority of the Bible and other teachings of their religion.“ (Palmore, Ageism: Negative and Positive)

As followers of Christ, we hold powerful answers to ageing and death for our world.  The church also has a single unifying cause (Hint:  The answer starts with a “J” and ends with “esus”).  Armed with a positive perspectives of ageing and death, the church is equipped to build thriving intergenerational communities.

However, when is the last time that you heard a message, homily, blog-post, or devotional on this topic?  Even as I write, I wonder whether or not anyone will read this post.

Intergenerational is a buzzword that you hear every day within youth ministry circles.  In order to create healthy intergenerational communities, we must confront ageism and develop strategies for individual and community change.

© 2010 Eric Danley, Flickr | CC-BY | via Wylio

When you combat ageism, you stand as a warrior for church unity.  Don’t simply be a spokesperson for the youth of the church.  I call you to blaze new trails which allow them to speak for themselves. Don’t strive for intergenerational communities until you know that they won’t attack each other.

If you don’t know where to start combating ageism, then look inside.  Ask yourself the question, “How does ageism affect you?”  May your answer lead you to the cross, and start you on a journey towards healing.

Dr. G. David Boyd is the Founder and Managing Director of EA Resources.

When Does A Boy Become A Man In His Mother’s Eyes?

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I recently came across this well-written article, and I wanted to share it with my readers.  The author, Melissa Schultz, is a mother who is transitioning from a full house into an empty nest.  She shares her mother’s perspective on what it means to be a man.

Here is the article.

2013-05-31-boysshavingsmaller.jpg

The positives of this article:

  1.  It doesn’t link manhood to various traditional, yet lacking markers – like having children, making money, or growing a beard.
  2. Great portrayal of a mother’s struggle to allow her children to grow up.  “And then, even then, when we see our sons as men, sometimes, we still secretly see them as our little boys. Because we want to. Not because they are.”
  3. Gives several inadequate markers of manhood, but doesn’t fully answer the question, “What makes a man?”  Her answer is, “For me, a boy becomes a man when he lets himself fall in love. It says he’s ready and willing to discover who he really is, to take risks; to care for someone other than himself.”     While the ability to fall in love can be a mark of knowing who they really are (self-discovery), take risks (courage), and caring for others (self-less), these characteristics are still greatly lacking.

I think that all emerging adults regularly ask themselves if they are truly an adult.  As children, they long every day to arrive, and yet often never fully feel satisfied in their arrival.  These uncertain feelings can lead our children to a lack of confidence and confusion.

While we can never adequately define adulthood, we can work to give our children the confidence that they need in their journey.  During my research, one of the powerful interview moments that I had was when one young man told me that he knew he was a man because, “My dad told me so.”

Take time today to encourage your children in their pursuit of adulthood.  May you be a channel of confidence that they need to take the next step.

Here are some additional articles that encourage you (or someone you love) in this pursuit.

Dr. G. David Boyd is the Founder and Managing Director of EA Resources, a non-profit designed to encourage emerging adults and their parents.

When the Church is Fighting over Coffee Pots

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© 2010 Richard Masoner / Cyclelicious, Flickr | CC-BY-SA | via Wylio

I am still shocked and amazed that it happened.  I had heard stories about church conflict centered on the color of carpet or the VBS theme, but it would never happen in my church.

Never say never.

In the midst of a church business meeting, a discussion began that resulted in a fight over the use of coffee pots.  Harsh words were uttered.  People were angry.

In a room where the average age was well over forty

In a room that was holding the leadership of our church.

In a room where gray hair ran rampant, and where wisdom and maturity were supposed to be found in abundance.

In this room selfishness reigned and child-like behavior was obvious.

Sometimes immature behavior gets ascribed to… well, to those who are younger (or to people we don’t like or agree with).  Yet at that moment, it was difficult to imagine any other age group having this same conversation.

Psalm 119: 99,100 says,

I have more insight than all my teachers, for I meditate on your statutes. I have more understanding than the elders, for I obey your precepts.

Spiritual maturity is not dependent upon age, but upon the individual’s meditation and obedience to God’s word.  We all make assumptions about others based upon their age – which is defined as Ageism.  Ageism is prejudice or discrimination based upon age, and I believe it to be one of the causes of the Millennial Exodus (or why young adults are leaving the church).

When judged by his age, Paul commands Timothy to stand strong against ageism, “Don’t let anyone look down upon you because you are young.”  (1 Timothy 4:12)  Timothy was called to lead, and Paul knew that his character and calling (rather than age) were the foundation of his leadership.

Why then are young adults often excluded from leadership because of age?  (read more)

For several years in a community where I served, I regularly questioned why our leadership had to be over fifty.  After nominating many young(er) adults, they were always mysteriously removed for the same reason – they were in the wrong ‘phase of life’ (aka – anyone with children in the home). It was thinly veiled ageism –  excluded people due to their age.

When the coffee pots become the center of your church meetings, it reveals that something is wrong.

Your church may be equating age with maturity.

David Boyd 1 (1)Dr. G. David Boyd is the Founder and Managing Director of EA Resources.  He is passionate about equipping parents and churches to reach Millennials.  If there is some way that he can serve your community, contact him at gdavid@earesources.org.

The Millennial Exodus – Article by Doug Devor

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Emerging adults are leaving the church.  If this is new information to you then, please read THIS.

If you believe it isn’t true, please read THIS.

Stephens City United Methodist Church from Flickr via Wylio

© 2013 NCinDC, Flickr | CC-BY-ND | via Wylio

I have used the term to describe this transition as, “The Millennial Exodus.”  Many authors, bloggers, pastors, and church leaders have written on this topic.  If you want to see some of these various articles, I have have them tagged as the ” Millennial Exodus.”

Here is a new voice to add to the discussion by Doug Devor.  The full article is HERE.

The reasons given by the author are:

1. We are overprotective. As the church we need to allow young people to take the reins and take imaginative risks.  (I agree!  Young Adults should be given full Autonomy!)

2.We are shallow. As the church we need to focus on the depth of discipleship instead of the number attending our programs.

3.We are anti-science. As the church we need to help foster the idea that science and faith are not incompatible.

4.We are repressive. As the church we need to focus less on the rules that people should follow and more on the grace that Christ provides.

5.We are exclusive. As the church we need to invite people in and actually want them to stay, no matter who they are. We need to be more open-minded, tolerant and accepting.

6. We are doubtless. As the church we need to let young people doubt and then answer the hard questions that they have about faith.

If you are a Millennial, and you would like to add your voice to the conversation.  Please contact me at gdavid@earesources.org.  Here is a link to receive more information.

 

Young Adult Unemployment – Does your church community care?

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Earlier this week, I posted how an article that shared a Millennial’s journey through unemployment.

Emerging adults who are unemployed (or underemployed) will not break down the door to your church office asking for help.  They will not demand that the church do anything for them at all.  You might not even know they [unemployed emerging adults] exist.

They do exist.  If your church wants to minister to Emerging adults, then we must seek ways to make a difference in their lives.

Here is a chart recently released by the Economic Policy Institute.

Here are some highlights from the article.

  • …young workers always experience disproportionate increases in unemployment during periods of labor market weakness…
  • Unemployment and underemployment rates among young graduates are improving but remain substantially higher than before the recession began.
  • [These high rates of unemployment]… stems from weak demand for goods and services, which makes itunnecessary for employers to significantly ramp up hiring.
  • Wages of young college and high school graduates are performing poorly—and are substantially lower today than in 2000. The real (inflation-adjusted) wages of young high school graduates are 5.5 percent lower today than in 2000, and the wages of young college graduates are 2.5 percent lower.
  • The cost of higher education has grown far more rapidly than median family income, leaving students with little choice but to take out loans which, upon graduating into a labor market with limited job opportunities, they may not have the funds to repay.
  • Graduating in a weak economy has long-lasting economic consequences. Economic research suggests that for the next 10 to 15 years, those in the Class of 2015 will likely earn less than if they had graduated when job opportunities were plentiful.

May God lead your community to be a place that understands and is willing to do what it takes to minister to Emerging adults.

Ddavid in hat - blackr. G. David Boyd is the Founder and Managing Director of EA Resources.

Frank Powell on Addressing “The Millennial Exodus”

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I came across this article this past week during my reading, and I wanted to share it with my readers.  Millennials are leaving the faith, and if you care about the lost, then we must examine why.

Millennials leaving the church

The piece reflects many of the same points made in other pieces about why Millennials are leaving the church.  Here is my voice in the discussion of the Millennial Exodus.   The author mentions the Millennials’ boredom with worship turf wars, and the corporate structure of the church, and then throws in plenty of accusations towards others who are making Jesus “cool” or “hip” (I have never really seen anyone do this, but I assume it is being done since so many reference it.)

Here are a few noteworthy quotes.

  • I want desperately to love the people “out there” more than I love the people “in here.” I think others do as well. (Removing our Christian Bubbles.)
  • Corporate worship is powerful. But I wonder if the church hasn’t made an idol out of worship. We spend an enormous amount of time debating it and arguing over it.
  • Jesus isn’t American. And America isn’t God’s country. Or maybe it is. But not any more than Mexico, Germany, or Japan. America doesn’t have a stranglehold on God. God is bigger than that. If he’s not, I don’t want to serve him.
  • Here’s the deal. I want to actually love the sinner. Many times I am not sure how. But I want to try.

Here is the Article!

Dr. G. David Boyd is the Founder and Managing Director of EA Resources, a non-profit designed to equip churches to minister to Emerging Adults.

 

Is there more grace for child-like men than for child-like women?

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I recently came across an article that discussed how movies which display men who are delayed in accepting adult roles and behavior (Failure to Launch, Happy Gilmore, Knocked Up) are more accepted by audiences because their is more grace for men who delayed in their development than for women.  annie

Here are some interesting quotes from the article:

  • In each of those cases, the protagonist has been led astray from a traditional path to adulthood, but their resulting antics — drinking a lot, general laziness and immaturity — are played for laughs and rarely, if ever, become dilemmas worthy of audience sympathy.
  • “If you’re a female, then you should have your shit together and you should be figuring it out,” Anna Kendrick said, discussing the role. “With men it’s just like, ‘Oh, you know, he’s just still a frat boy at heart, and it’s no big deal.’”
  • Something is set up as ostensibly wrong with the woman-child, while the male version is explained away with the idea that “boys will be boys.
  • “I think the kind of outlet for the contemporary woman-child is that there doesn’t seem to be any exit or even desire to exit this kind of liminal state, that is both economic and in terms of identity and maturity,” said Clark. “Marriage doesn’t seem to be the out anymore.”

Here is the link to the article.

I believe that the author has a point.  I am not sure how this extra grace towards men (who won’t grow up) works out in our families, and our communities of faith.  Regardless, delayed development is not a laughing matter.

Here are some articles about delayed development.

David Boyd 1 (1)Dr. G. David Boyd is the Founder and Managing Director of EA Resources, a non-profit designed to equip parents and churches to minister to Emerging Adults.

 

 

When Dying is your next Career

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PHYLLISI came across a great article this week that I wanted to share with you.  It is entitled, Author Phyllis Tickle Faces Death As She Enjoyed Life: ‘The Dying Is My Next Career’.  The article was written by David Gibson, and was presented by the Huffington Post.

According to the article, “Phyllis Tickle is a Southern-born and -bred mother of seven and a doyenne of religion writers. She is now 81, and a widow living on a small farm in Lucy, Tenn., just outside of Memphis. On the land where her cows once roamed, stray dogs she has adopted and some family surround her. She is being treated for Stage IV cancer.”

Earlier this week, I wrote how Christians need to present a better view of aging and dying.  This article is part of a new perspective.

Phyllis Tickle is a great example of a Christ-follower.  Here are a few of my favorite lines from the interview:

  • OK, now I know what it’s probably going to be, and probably how much time there is. So you can clean up some of the mess you’ve made and tie up some of the loose ends.”
  • “I am no more afraid of dying than I am of, I don’t know, drinking this coffee,”
  • “Christianity is reconfiguring,” she says. “It’s almost going through another adolescence. And it’s going to come out a better, more mature adult. There’s no question about that.”

My favorite is the Title… The dying is my next career.  Her career has been filled with teaching and writing others how to follow God.

Click here for the Article!

 

What will we teach Millennials about Aging?

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Summer Deck from Flickr via Wylio

© 2011 Todd Petit, Flickr | CC-BY | via Wylio

This past week, I sat on my porch catching up with a long-time friend and emerging adult.  While enjoying the Minnesota summer sun, we talked about life – the simple and complex.  At one shift during the conversation, we discussed aging.  Having just turned 28, he felt as if time had turned against him.

Humans hate aging.  We spend billions of dollars in order to look and feel younger.  I will not attempt to reverse this hatred towards aging and death; however, I believe that if anyone in our world can put a positive spin on aging and death – it is Christians.  While we live in a society of growing “Nones” (Those claiming to be non-religious.), Christians claim a set of beliefs that offer another perspective.

Millard tombstone from Flickr via Wylio

© 2005 Andy / Andrew Fogg, Flickr | CC-BY | via Wylio

  • We believe in an afterlife.
  • We believe in an afterlife that is good.
  • We believe in an afterlife that will reverse the pain, suffering, and blemishes of this world.
  • We believe that this good afterlife is timeless.

Or at least, we say that we do.  Most Christians avoid the topic of death and dying as if they hold no answers.  I know that doubt filters in, and can cause us to stumble.  However, we should regularly reflect on Jesus’ words,

“Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me. My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you?  And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.”

Jesus knew his disciples would be troubled by an unknown future, and calls them to trust Him.

Our faith demands that we hold to a different view of the human experience to Millennials.  One in which each phase of life is to be embraced (including dying) and enjoyed.

From our platforms and porches, we need to restore a vision for human death and aging.  We need to cling to faith, and live out our lives in view of our beliefs about death.

A theologically sound view of aging will remove our distaste for it.

A theologically sound view of death will remove its sting.

Teaching and living this view is one Christian belief that will appeal to a world of growing “Nones” and Millennials.

Dr. G. David Boyd is the Founder and Managing Director of EA Resources.david in hat - black

Learning about America’s Growing Non-religious Population- And Who is to Blame

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Growing up within the church, I heard many words to describe those who were not associated with the church including:  non-believers, heathen, the lost, the world, and sinners.  Regardless of what you call those outside the church, the number of people claiming no religion is growing.

The Pew Research Center released a new study this month about the changing religious beliefs among Americans.  Here are a few facts about those who declare themselves non-religious.

1.  They are Young.

Men at work from Flickr via Wylio

© 2013 reynermedia, Flickr | CC-BY | via Wylio

While many U.S. religious groups are aging, the unaffiliated are comparatively young – and getting younger, on average, over time. As a rising cohort of highly unaffiliated Millennials reaches adulthood, the median age of unaffiliated adults has dropped to 36, down from 38 in 2007 and far lower than the general (adult) population’s median age of 46.  (Source)

 2.  Many grew up in religious homes.

Nearly one-in-five U.S. adults (18%) were raised in a religious faith and now identify with no religion.  While some young adults who are raised in a non-religious household have chosen to become religious, they are outnumbered by those fleeing their religious up-bringing (The ratio is 4:1.)  There is no magical way to ensure that your adult child will follow your faith as a parent, but here is a great book to read about this topic.

 3.  Their numbers are growing equally among whites, blacks, and Hispanics.

The non-religious are found among whites (24%), blacks (18%), and Hispanics (20%).

4.  They are growing among college graduates, and those without a college degree.

College is often seen as the enemy of faith, and the cause of emerging adults leaving the faith.  However, those claiming to be non-religious is growing among both groups.  “Nones” now claim 24% of college graduates and 22% of those with less than a college degree.  As I have stated in other places, college is not the main destructive cause of Millennials’ faith.

 5.  Labels don’t really stick.

hoto courtesy of Aaron Robert Photography. Copyright 2013. www.aaronrobertphotography.com

It is hard to find a label that describes this group.  The article states, “In 2007, 25% of the ‘nones’ called themselves atheists or agnostics; 39% identified their religion as ‘nothing in particular’ and also said that religion is ‘not too’ or ‘not at all’ important in their lives; and 36% identified their religion as ‘nothing in particular.’’  Atheists believe that there is no God, while agnostics is often defined as those who believe that nothing is known or can be known about the existence of God.  Many ‘nones’ don’t identify as either maybe because they don’t know the terminology or because they refuse to be classified.

For those who have a passion for the church, the changing religious beliefs here in America causes a reaction within each of us.  Here are a few “knee-jerk” responses:

Millennials Suck.  Millennials are constantly blasted in the media and in our churches.  Some people may believe that Millennials are simply evil, and inherently irreligious.  However, I believe in Millennials, and I believe that generational bashing is destructive to the church.

The Youth Pastors of Millennials Suck.  I recently read an article which attributed the decline to some degree upon the lack of education among youth workers.  While, I acknowledge the men and women whom I pastored have left the church and I will take ownership.  It was not due to my lack of education.  Please resist the urge to once again throw the youth workers under the bus, haven’t they been through enough?

The Parents of Millennials Suck.  While parenting styles definitely affects the religious views of children, it is not the only factor.  The weight of guilt and grief that parents bear when their children walk away from the church can be overwhelming.

The Churches in America Suck.  If you are a conservative church, then you might be pointing the finger at liberal churches.  Difficulties give us the opportunity to either unite or fight each other; unfortunately, the church has often chosen to fight.

Christians can play the blame game.  We can point fingers and decide in our own mind who is to blame, only to go about our own lives as nothing has changed.  Or we can acknowledge the changes that are happening within our country, and become like the men of Issachar who “understood the times, and knew what they should do.”  (I Chron 12:32)

David Boyd 1 (1)EA Resources is committed to helping parents, institutions, and churches understand the times and discern how they can better minister to emerging adults. If I can serve your community, e-mail me at gdavid@earesources.org.