Tag Archives: Church

Young Need Not Apply.

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businessmanAs a youth pastor for 12 years, I participated in many closed-door meetings (with men mostly 15 or more years older than me).  During these meetings, I was expected to speak for millennials (who are 15 years younger than me).  It is a difficult spot to be in – I would say an impossible spot.  How am I supposed to speak for a new generation?  Don’t get me wrong.  I have studied the research.  I spend time with EAs (emerging adults).  I have a pretty good understanding of who they are (even though that is really not possible).  I could speak for them, but why?

Are there not EAs who can speak for themselves?

Are there not EAs who understand their world better than me?

Are there not EAs who know how to reach their peers better than me?

Are there not EAs who would jump at the opportunity to share their voice?

Are there not EAs leaving established churches because of obstacles that keep them from what God created them to do?

So I ask again,

Are there not EA’s who can speak for themselves?

Why is it that so many churches rely on others to speak for EAs, instead of having them in the room?  There is a very real, but unwritten requirement for leading within many churches – AGE.  You have to be old.  I have worked with many churches where the 40-year-old is considered the “youngster” on the team.

This is a problem.

girl-woman-hair-1276336-l[1]Many EA’s I interviewed who grew up at my church were convinced that as young adults, they were not capable of leading people who were older.  I asked them why they believed this (because they didn’t learn it from me).  Many had little reasoning other than younger people didn’t know enough, or that those who were older wouldn’t listen.

Is age a requirement for leading in the church?  Did God ever use the young to lead?  Does God require that you be a certain age before you are able to speak out?  Is wisdom age-dependent?

Where did the practice of restricting younger adults from leadership begin?  It didn’t start with Jesus.

If age limitations are assumed within your leadership structure, then it you should state it.  Put a sign out that says, “Young Need not Apply.”  I mean it.  If you state it, you should be able to defend it.  If you can’t defend it, then why believe it.  If you don’t believe it, then stop upholding it.

Welcoming EAs into leadership will take work because many EAs feel as if…

Young Need Not Apply.

 

The Connecting Church – Book Review

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Connecting churchHave you ever tried attending a small group, only to find it didn’t provide the Community that you longed for?

The one act in the Creation record that is not labeled as good is that man was alone.  God created us to have community with Him and one another.  According to Frazee, “People need to be involved in meaningful and constant community or they will continue on indefinitely in a state of intense loneliness.”  (Frazee)

Frazee points out that America’s obsession with independence often keeps them from seeking the community that the need.  It is essential for the individual to be able to develop a community in order sustain healthy adulthood.  Frazee says, “I would suggest that one of the major obstacles to community is America is that we don’t need each other anymore.  We are independent people. …  Sadly, when a person becomes independent of others, they get the loneliness and isolation that accompany it as well.”  (Frazee)

Here a few of Frazee points that I believe are worth noting.

Beyond Small Group Ministry

Many churches advertise that people will find community in a small group, but they might as well be selling snake oil.  Hopeful of finding authentic community, many people leave a small-group feeling disillusioned and frustrated.  The purpose of small groups is not small groups.  The purpose is to achieve, “The development of meaningful relationships where every member carries a significant sense of belonging [which] is central to what it means to be the church.  (Frazee)  We must remember that our goal is authentic community, and I believe Frazee’s book gives great direction to individuals and churches to reach that goal.

Simplify Church

Frazee is not a fan of complex, program-driven churches.  “This will require that the church not develop competing activities or functions at the church but rather allow the small group members to simplify their church lives by means of this one group.” (Frazee)  One reason is because they are not looking for more activities, EA are looking for people to share the simple pleasure of life – eating, playing, and talking.  They will not have time to do life together if they are always running to support church functions.

Breaking Down Walls between the Generationsintergenerational

My favorite points by Frazee is his desire to see multi-generational relationships within the church.  He says, “Many church leaders still believe that the most effective grouping of people is centered around the sharing of a common life-stage experience.”  (Frazee) I am glad that this mindset is beginning to be questioned, and in some brave churches it is being destroyed.  He goes on to state, “The life-stage mind-set is so ingrained that it has a powerful effect both on the youngest members of our community as well as the oldest.  As our children grow up, many are not comfortable in relating to people of other ages.”   (Frazee)

Could their inability to relate to other age groups be a reason why some leave the church?

I thoroughly enjoyed reading Frazee’s book because it reminded me of my own longings of authentic community- an ever-changing game of catch and release.

 

“Why Millenials are leaving the Church?” – My Voice in the Conversation

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There are many articles circulating around the web about why Millenials are leaving the church.  I am not a Millennial, but having worked with this age group within the church for the past twelve years, I have a few thoughts to add to the conversation. Continue reading →