I saw this parody on Frozen yesterday on the internet, and wanted to share it with my readers.
Click here to see it!
How To Help Young Adults Make Good Decisions
Emerging adults face an endless array of possibilities. For those who are not equipped to face these decisions, the job can become over-whelming. Earlier this week, I wrote on Six Reasons why Decision-making is so difficult for Emerging Adults.
As a follow-up, I wanted to provide you with a little support for those trying to equip your adult children. I like this article, because it provides guidance for parents and mentors without taking over the process or providing answers. His three points are:
1. Encourage young adults to seek God’s heart.
2. Encourage young adults to “not settle.”
3. Encourage young adults to follow through.
There is much more that needs to be said on the topic of helping Emerging adults, and I am thankful for his willingness to be apart of the conversation.
Here is the beginning of the article…
Decisions. During the course of a single day, we make decisions from the time we open our eyes in the morning until the time we go to sleep. We make all kinds of decisions–as insignificant as what color socks to wear to healthy lifestyle decisions like choosing between a chocolate cupcake or a banana to more significant decisions that affect the course of life such choosing to take the job or stay where you are. (More…)
Mark Whitt is the Collegiate and Young Adult Specialist at LifeWay Christian Resources. The article comes from threads by LifeWay.
6 Reasons Decision-Making Is More Difficult for Emerging Adults
I sometimes struggle with making decisions. I can stare at a menu for several minutes while debating between the McChicken or the McDouble. I use my time in the checkout lane debating whether or not I need a king-size candy bar.
© 2007 Anne-Lise Heinrichs, Flickr | CC-BY | via Wylio
While we all sometimes struggle with making decisions, the endless opportunities and never-ending stream of decisions facing emerging adults can be overwhelming. Emerging adults (roughly 18-28) face many important decisions including: personal identity, vocation, education, relationships, and family. Before we call emerging adults wishy-washy, selfish unicorns (or some other nonsensical term pulled from the internet), here are few reasons why making decisions has become so difficult.
1. Lack of Moral Certainty – Is it right or wrong?
Firm moral boundaries once helped people make decisions because certain actions were deemed immoral either by their religious beliefs, or by their family or community. In today’s world, many emerging adults believe the morality of most actions to be uncertain; therefore, they cannot ask, “Is this right or wrong?” Emerging adults are only left with the question, “Is this right or wrong for me?” which just leads them to a new decisions. As a church, we need to restore hope to emerging adults that they can find moral certainty for their decisions.
2. Limitless Reach – Is it even possible?
In today’s world of parenting, a child should never be discouraged from following their dreams – no matter how unlikely. Many children grow up with dreams of being the President, an astronaut, or professional basketball player. This is the generation to whom Dr. Seuss wrote, “Oh the places you will go.” Millennials and their parents believe in their own boundless potential, so now even the tone-deaf are trying out to be the next American Idol.
3. Lack of Institutional Support – Where can I get good advice?
© 2010 Josef Seibel, Flickr | CC-BY | via Wylio
Emerging adulthood is a time when social structures including churches, family, and schools back away, and the individual is often left alone to figure out the myriad of decisions they face. Wuthnow says, “the major decisions a person has to make about marriage, child rearing, and work happen after these support systems have ceased to experience stress and confusion, worry that they are not yet capable of behaving like adults, delay settling down, and often make bad decisions about jobs and money.” (Wuthnow, After the Baby Boomers)
Social institutions often step away during the EA years, and I believe that the church is the most guilty of this crime. Society’s message that adulthood is independence has been heard, and so emerging adults have learned not to ask for help. Most churches have strong support for children, adolescents, and older adulthood while emerging adults are a zone that no one is willing is to claim, and few are willing to enter. (If your community is looking for how to start supporting Emerging Adults, click here!)
4. Lack of Responsibility – Will this decision negatively affect my other responsibilities?
Robbins says, “The prevalent belief is that twenty-somethings have it relatively easy because they do not have as many responsibilities as older individuals. But it is precisely this reduced responsibility that renders the vast array of decisions more difficult to make.” (Quarterlife Crisis) When an individual becomes responsible for a spouse and children, he or she must consider how their decisions will affect their family. For example, a young man may choose to move across the country tomorrow to go look for work by himself, but if he has a wife and child, such a decision seems unlikely. As emerging adults delay marriage and parenting (for more click here), their lack of current responsibility leaves their options open and does not aid in the decision-making process.
5. Lack of Experience – How did I make a decision like this before?
Many emerging adults lack experience at making decisions that count. Afraid that their children will fail, many parents set close boundaries, and do not allow them to make decisions. Making important decisions during adolescence is foundation for becoming autonomous (What is autonomy?). Parents and institutions must allow adolescents and emerging adults to make even bad decisions, and allowing them to learn and grow through the process.
6. Lack of Absolute Truth – What will happen if I do action A?
Many emerging adults are looking for certainty in a world that doesn’t promise it. Doing A + B will not always produce results C. Emerging adults understand their limited perspective, and that even the best decision, could bring forth unexpected results. A lack of certainty causes emerging adults to delay or refuse to make a decision.
We must show emerging adults that their lives do not depend on one decision and its outcome, but that God works through each decision of our lives – good and bad. As Christians, our certainty does not come from the outcome, but from the “God-of-all-Outcomes.”
Parents, emerging adults, and the Church must ask how we can come alongside young adults as they make decisions.
What have you done in order to equip your child, friend, or student to make decisions?
Dr. G. David Boyd is the Founder and Managing Director of EA Resources, a non-profit designed to equip parents and churches to minister to Emerging Adults. If you would like David to help your community understand the needs of Emerging Adults, contact him at gdavid@earesources.org.
Your Black Friday Prayer
I have experienced Black Friday. It began way before any human should be awake. It began in a line that was so long that it wrapped around two sides of the store. I wish that I could say that it got better.
I picked up the few items that I was buying, and then headed towards another extremely long line. Two young women were in line right behind me. One of them had a cart with various odds and ends, while the other was attempting to move a television box that was bigger than she was. I couldn’t help but listen to their conversation.
“This television is such a great deal.”
“Yes, it is.”
Silence.
“What are you going to do with it?”
“I don’t know.”
“You already have one.” Silence. “You don’t have anywhere to put it.”
“But it is such a good deal.”
The conversation ended, but the point was so clear. I actually hung around just to see what would happen. In the end, the television won, and humanity lost another round to American consumerism. As Black Friday approaches, many of you will brave the long lines, and mass chaos. Here is a simple prayer that can help you come out on top.
Dear Lord,
You are Lord of all that I have – including my money. Today, my shopping is under your control. Help me to use discernment while using my money. Help me to spend only what I have, that I might be free from the bondage of debt. May I remember that your call to generosity extends beyond my family, but to the “least of these.” May your Spirit guide me, and not greed. May I not believe the lie that possessions will bring me or my family happiness. May I not attempt to earn the love of others through gifts.
May my day be filled with your love, your joy, and your peace.
Always and forever yours,
Should young children be in church?
Over the weekend, I went to church with my family. A family sat behind us with a young child who definitely didn’t understand what it meant to sit and listen quietly. While I found it occassionally distracting, my son just found it appalling. He was upset that the young child kept kicking his chair and that the family did nothing about it.
After the service, I encouraged him to filled with grace for others because we often do not know what is going on within the lives of those we sit near. I also tried to encourage him that Jesus took time to be with children, and that they have an important role in the body of Christ.
Often young children are not welcomed into our corporate worship gatherings. As a parent of a toddler, people often do not want to sit near you, and give you shunning looks. The only place worst is when you are walking them up an airplane aisle.
Welcome children into our community takes grace and an understanding of their importance to the body of Christ. I found this picture online, and wanted to share it.
The No. 1 Reason Teens Keeps the Faith as Young Adults
![sessums-mother-daughter-679867-h[1]](http://www.earesources.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/sessums-mother-daughter-679867-h1.jpg)
This article was just released by the Huffington Post, and I thought that it would be an encouragement for parents of children, teens, or emerging adults.
The article is based on research by Christian Smith and the National Study for Youth and Religion. My favorite quote in the article by Christian Smith, “No other conceivable causal influence … comes remotely close to matching the influence of parents on the religious faith and practices of youth. Parents just dominate.”
So go read the article, and then go DOMINATE your kids by speaking, teaching, and living your faith within your home and your relationships with them.
Dr. G. David Boyd is the Founder and Managing Director of EA Resources. If he can encourage the parents in your community, please contact him at gdavid@earesources.org.
Millennials 101
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k0mw7Vp0tYI
Are you still struggling to understand who are the Millennials, and what they want? If so, here is a short clip (7 min) that explains who they are and what they value.
Paul Taylor describes some of the key characteristics of the Millennial Generation which includes:
- Large Generation – 80 Million
- Diverse – This is due to the children of immigrants from Latin America and Asia.
- Disassociated from Institutions including churches, political parties, marriage.
- Not Narcisstic, but creates social groups around themselves due to changes in technology.
Taylor is the executive vice president of the Pew Research Center, where he oversees demographic, social, and generational research.
EA Resources exists to help church and parents understand Emerging Adulthood. If our staff can help your community appreciate and minister to emerging adults, contact us at gdavid@earesources.org.
Why the “Teen Section” in your church is NOT a sign of church health, but of sickness.
© 2010 Richard Masoner / Cyclelicious, Flickr | CC-BY-SA | via Wylio
Several years ago, I interviewed for a position in Ohio. Whenever talking about their church’s vitality, they would always reference the “Teen Section” during worship services. For those who have not heard the term, “Teen Section” is an area of the auditorium where all the adolescents sit together each week during services. The search committee would discuss how large the section was. They would discuss how faithful the section was. They would discuss how active the section was during worship.
This was not the first time that I had heard a teen section is a sign of a healthy church, and I doubt that it will be the last. During the interview, I held my tongue, but here is what I wanted to say:
Five Reasons Why Your “Teen Section” promotes sickness within your community.
1. It trains adolescents to seek out and require “peer-driven” experiences.
Adolescents who are limited to a “Teen Section” experience of Christianity are going to struggle as they phase out of age-segregated programming. I believe that one reason why so many emerging adults leave the church is because they graduated from youth group, and gave up trying to find the “post-teen” section.
2. It teaches our community that teenagers are not a part of normal human society, but are a subset with strange interests, wild behaviors, and raging hormones.
It is good for adolescents to have their own space. Due to their raging hormones and rebellious behavior, they are “other,” meaning not like us, and barely human. It promotes low expectations among teenagers, and continues the myth that rebellion is a natural part of the adolescence experience.
3. It separates parents from their children during corporate worship.
Worship services are a time when my children can see what parents value, what parents believe, and what parents feel about faith. Research by Sticky Faith reveals that only 12% percent of youth have a regular dialogue with their mom on faith or life issues. This same research shows that only 5% have regular faith or life conversations with their dad. (Sticky Faith, 71) By establishing and promoting a “teen section,” we have ceased to support the spiritual development that happens within the familial context.
4. It isolates adolescents from the body of Christ, leaving the community weak and sickly.
It is not simply that Emerging Adults need us, but the church must realize that we need them. I have never heard someone say, “Wow, our church is so healthy. You should see our retirement section! Their section is so vibrant and they love being with each other.” Seriously, think about it. We would not say it about other parts of the body of Christ; therefore, we should not say it about adolescents. The body of Christ is at peak strength when we do not see another’s faults, money, race, status, or age, but serve hand in hand without discrimination.
5. It perpetuates the myth that “peer-driven” relationships and age-segregated programming are crucial to spiritual development.
While I do desire that my children develop friendships with peers, I also want them to have an entire network of people at various life stages who will encourage them in their faith. While popular in our society, age-segregation is not Biblical or healthy. By not speaking up for the unity of the body of Christ, we continue to promote segregation and ageism within the church.
As we consider the “teen-section,” each church must ask what values, ideals, and practices should be developed within its community.
As Christians, we often promote the “Teen Section” as a sign of life because we as the church feel beaten up in this life. The world is winning the war for our kids. We are losing. Pointing out the “Teen Section” gives us hope for the future of the church, and makes us feel better.
We must remember it is His church, and the gates of hell will not prevail against it.
Let us work for new signs of life in our communities. Lives being changed. Hope being found. Acceptance being granted. Care being received. Love being spread. The Kingdom being restored.
Dr. G. David Boyd is the Founder and Managing Director of EA Resources. You can follow his publications on Twitter at @G_David_Boyd as he writes on Manhood, Emerging Adults, Faith, and the church. He is the proud father of three children – Josiah, Andrew, and Tobi.
Resources Referenced:
Sticky Faith by Kara Powell and Chap Clark
The Myth of the Four-Year College Degree
I recently came across this article, and wanted to share it with my readers.
According to the Department of Education, fewer than 40% of students who enter college each year graduate within four years, while almost 60% of students graduate in six years. At public schools, less than a third of students graduate on time. (Time Magazine)
© 2012 Tax Credits, Flickr | CC-BY | via Wylio
There are many reasons why it takes students longer to get through college. Here are just a few:
- Trouble getting into a specific program.
- Finances
- Trouble getting into prerequisite classes.
- Illness of the student or family member.
- Lack of Motivation to leave.
- Change their major (one or more times).
- Unable to determine a course of study.
The longer it takes to get a degree usually affects the amount of expenses that a student will accrue, and delays their entry into the workforce.
However as Christians, it is important to remember that each person’s journey is unique and directed by our loving God. So whether you are a parent or emerging adult, don’t allow the four-year myth to discourage you in your journey.
Take each step by faith.
Dr. G. David Boyd is the Founder and Director of EA Resources. He has a passion to encourage emerging adults and their parents. If you are interested in having him speak to your community, email him at gdavid@earesources.org.
College Affordability – Back in my day, I paid for college by working hard
“Back in my day, I paid for my college by working hard all summer.”
It is hard for most students to image a time where you could cover your tuition expenses by working a summer job. When I was going through school in the mid-nineties, I remember working each summer just hoping that I would make enough money to cover my school supplies, books, and spending money to get me through the year.
This chart shows us:
1. The minimum wage has not kept up with the inflation rate of education. Most students work entry-level jobs during the summer that make minimum wage. Here is a chart that displays the percentage of inflation just from recent years (2003-2013, Source)
2. We need to guide emerging adults to set goals for your summer employment that are reachable, concrete, and encouraging. For example, “My goal for this year is to cover my books, and spending money for the year.” The gap between their wages and debt demotivates them to get a summer job. When you know that you are not going to make enough to make a difference in your fall loan balance, it can be discouraging.
3. Provides an understanding of the financial obstacles that cause emerging adults to drop out of college. While more people are attending college each year, more are not able to finish – often due to financial reasons. The inflation rate of education is only one of the financial difficulties that emerging adults face after they leave high school. I believe that it is essential for the church to understand the obstacles they face if we are to make them feel welcome in our churches.
Dr. G. David Boyd is the Founder and Managing Director of EA Resources, who after writing this blog entry just texted a thank you note to his father for helping him make it through college.