Category Archives: For Parents

Why All Your Millennial Stereotypes Might Be Wrong

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Here is an interesting article and video discussing the stereotypes of Millennials, and how the delayed development of their generation – may not be entirely their fault.

Consider the millennial, America’s enigmatic under-35-year-old adult, and a few standard tropes come to mind: slacker, living in parent’s basement, obsessed with Snapchat.millennial-stereotypes

But there’s plenty that’s still unknowable about the generation, simply because the economy has been so awful for most of their lives. The behavior we’ve come to associate with the group is deeply informed by the 2008 financial crisis, and traits that seem to define them now—living at home, for example—are likely more a product of financial duress than ingrained tendencies.

Here is the complete article and video discussion.

For a complete list of causes of the delayed development among adolescents, here are some resources.

 

David - Prof 2Dr. G. David Boyd is the managing director of EA Resources – a non-profit designed to equip parents and churches to engage emerging adults.  He is also the founder of the EA Network – a community of people who serve and love emerging adults.

The Millennial Exodus – Caleb’s Story

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(This is part of a series written by Millennials who have either left or stuck with the church.  If you are a Millennial and would like to submit your work for publication, you will earn $100.  Here is the link.  To read more stories by Millennials search Millennial Exodus.  If you would like to fund our research among emerging adults, click here.)

Here is Caleb’s story.

I’ve been a Christian for as long as I can remember.  My first childhood memories are of vacation bible school and Sunday family lunches.  The church has been a part of me since I was born, and its presence in my life grew and grew throughout the years.  I experienced the Holy Spirit countless times during my youth years at church camp and on mission trips, but after I graduated high school, my faith took a turn for the worse.

Make no mistake; during my first year of college I was still a Christian, but even I knew that I was lukewarm at best.  I stopped attending church, and with that decision, my faith began to slip away from me.  After almost an entire year of ignoring God, I knew I had to take action.

I found a group of Christians student through a local campus ministry who put God first and helped me regain my relationship with God.  I immediately felt overwhelmed by the sincerity and generosity these believers displayed to me.  As I began to involve myself with this community, I built strong and faithful friendships.  This change of community also led me to devote more of my time and energy to my faith.

I stuck with the church because when I lived my life without it, I hated what I saw.

My desires were earthly, my relationships were shallow, and my spirit was starved.  In retrospect, I understood how truly lonely and apathetic I felt without the body of Christ.  I had taken for granted the bond of Christian fellowship which I enjoyed my entire childhood.  This fellowship displayed through the sincere relationships and genuine kindness of a church family drew me back into the arms of my Father. 

After almost two years, I thank God for allowing me to know His presence is in my life, and for accepting me back into His loving family.  I pray that if I come upon someone going through the same struggles, that I can provide the help others so graciously provided to me.

caleb-norris-writerCaleb Norris is a student at the University of Tennessee at Chattanooga with a major in business management.  Caleb was born and raised in Winchester, Tennessee and is the oldest of three children.  In his spare time, Caleb enjoys reading, fishing, and playing guitar.  Please pray for Caleb as he continues his walk with Christ throughout his life.

 

 

Preaching to your Adult Child – Here is Their Perspective.

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Image from page 336 of "The history of Methodism" (1902) from Flickr via Wylio

© 1902 Internet Archive Book Images, Flickr | PD | via Wylio

If you are a parent, then there are times when your child feels as if you are preaching at them.  If you don’t know your favorite topics, just ask them (if you are brave).

This article written by an emerging adult explains the thought process for your child as you discuss issues that you don’t agree upon – including faith.  While this article may not reflect the relationship between you and your child, there is much for parents to learn from this writer’s perspective.

Within five minutes of starting the hour-long car ride, she asked me if I wanted to explain my theological beliefs to her.

Awkward.

At this point, I had three options…

Read the entire article – HERE.

I wanted to summarize the points, but found too much that I wanted my readers to see and feel.  But I do want to highlight the author’s main conclusion:

I ask ‘when the preaching will end’ because with conservatives I consistently feel that I am being preached at by people who don’t care to understand me as a person, while with liberals I feel that I am becoming a part of a movement which is built on compassion and mutual understanding.

Within our homes, churches, and the public square – communication is key.  

Most Christians ignore the role of the Holy Spirit, and focus on conversion tactics when speaking with those outside the church – including their children.  Dialogue and diversity are welcome in today’s culture, but when someone in a conversation feels the need to be right – it will turn people from the beauty of the gospel.

This author is a follower of Jesus who was raised in an evangelical home.  Unfortunately, this emerging adult found the “extra baggage” of present-day Evangelical culture (which I use to refer to anything not required by the original tenants of the movement) to be completely overpowering to their spiritual journey.  I believe that some emerging adults find these beliefs so restrictive that they abandon the faith completely.

Related Links:

David - Prof 2Dr. G. David Boyd is the managing director of EA Resources – a non-profit designed to equip parents and churches to engage emerging adults.  He is also the founder of the EA Network – a community of people who serve and love emerging adults.

 

 

You are not alone – A Bible Study for Parents of Young Adults

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I had the privilege of meeting with Corey Magstadt who runs a ministry to serve young adults in the community of Chaska, Minnesota.  Corey seeks to minister to emerging adults and their parents through his Launch ministry.  After years of running support groups for parents, he wrote a resource called, “You are Not Alone.”

Image result for you are not alone book corey magstadtParenting emerging adults while rewarding is sometimes a difficult job.  Parents often feel isolated because their words might embarrass either themselves or their adult children.  This is especially true in the church where parents often feel as if they have failed.  Corey writes, “Sadly, our churches often forget that one of the primary roles of the body of Christ is to be a hospital for sick and broken people.”

A desperate need exists for safe places for parents to share their experiences.  Corey envisions small groups that meet on a regular basis to share a part of this journey. I believe that groups could be led by churches, educational institutions, non-profits, or other social organizations who have a passion for emerging adults and their parents.

The book includes a discussion guide for each lesson.  Each week begins in a similar fashion including time for each individual to share.  Then a different topic is discussed revolving around the specific needs of emerging adults and the transition of their role as parents.   A Facilitator’s Guide is available which provides practical advice to launching your own group.  It includes supplemental information for each of the 12 sessions.

Corey is the founder of Launch Ministry, a faith-based non-profit organization established to expose emerging adults between 18-25 years old to opportunities that will promote healthy, productive transitions into adulthood.  Launch Ministry assists young people in a holistic transition by providing them with tools to develop life skills, opportunities to lead and serve, and by promoting spiritual and character formation.  Corey lives in Cologne, MN with his wife Lori, and their children.

You can purchase You are not alone–  Particpant’s Guide here.

You can purchase You are not alone- Facilatator’s Guide here.

What Comes After for-Profit Colleges’ ‘Lehman Moment’? Possibly an Education Crash

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Image result for end of collegeJust as the fall of Lehman Brothers in 2008 heralded a much larger economic crash, the September shuttering of the ITT Technical Institute chain of for-profit colleges signals a broad crisis in higher education. 

Read the entire here.

Highlights:

  • Since 2000, overall educational outcomes have fallen while debt and student defaults have risen. And for-profits have become ground zero for the student-debt crisis, representing roughly 75% of the increase in student defaults.
  • The $1.2 trillion student-debt bubble represents a much smaller part of the consumer-credit market than housing did on the eve of the 2008 financial crisis.
  • only a quarter of first-year college students can predict their own debt loads within 10% accuracy.
  • While it’s true that a degree ensures something more than a $15-an-hour future for most graduates, it’s no longer a ticket to higher social mobility for the poorest Americans. Many end up in second-or third-tier colleges, going into debt for dubious degrees.
  • In ITT’s case, the government may write off loans for current students. Though aimed this time at the right people, this new bailout could end up costing taxpayers $500 million, according to private student lender Sallie Mae.

Other articles that might interest you:

The changing face of U.S. higher education – from the Gates Foundation

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Although Thien Chau and Danyelle Parrish were born worlds apart—Chau in Vietnam and Parrish just outside of New Orleans—they have arrived at similar places in their education. Both students don’t fit traditional categories of college-goers, and demonstrate how today’s colleges and universities need to adapt to fit the needs of learners with various backgrounds and needs.

Read the entire article here.

Final_Draft_TCS

From the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation

Here are some key points:

  • Diversity is now a fact of life in U.S. postsecondary education. There are more students of color, first-generation students, full-time workers, students from low-income backgrounds and those who must balance studies with parenting.
  • The academic world can be a maze for students with no parents or siblings to provide guidance from past experience.
  • A significant percentage of students return to school years later to seek a credential or degree. And nationwide, an estimated 28 percent of full-time students at four-year degree programs have children.

What does this mean for those who minister to emerging adults both on college campuses – and off?

Campus and church ministries who cater to the “traditional” college student, may need to broaden their vision to reach those who do not fit the mold.

If you want to become essential to their lives, provide emerging adults with vocational and educational guidance and resources.

The world is changing, and we must change and adapt if we are to successfully met the needs of emerging adults.  If we can help your community understand emerging adults, contact us at gdavid@earesources.org.

David - Prof 2Dr. G. David Boyd is the Founder and Managing Director of EA Resources, a non-profit that seeks to equip parents and churches to meet the needs of emerging adults.

 

The Gap Year(s): Why I’m Glad I Took Time Off From Higher Education

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When I graduated from college, countless classmates were headed to grad school — M.Eds, MDs, MBAs, MAs, MDivs, you name it. Well-intentioned professors urged me to do the same. I wanted to be a people-pleaser (and certainly a professor-pleaser!) as always…but just couldn’t shake the feeling that for some reason I wasn’t ready yet.

Kate's pic_graduationEmbarrassed, I moved home to my parents’ house (and later to a house with a few friends my age), got a job, and settled in.

It’s been 2 years since I wore a cap and gown. And each year, especially in the springtime, Facebook fills up with giddy grad school acceptance posts. There’s pictures of college hoodies and white coat ceremonies, comments of new seasons and new opportunities.

First, I feel happy for them; I really do. Then, the social comparison sets in, and I feel jealous, less-accomplished, one-step-behind. And, finally, when I think about it? Grateful. Grateful for the time I’ve had to live and work and learn some things like this:

  1. Being comfortable working with people significantly older than myself. In college, I worked, lived, and ate almost entirely with people approximately my age. But that’s not how most of the world operates. Now, I love sharing ideas and projects and meals with people in their 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s, and on upwards.
  2. Keeping up with cooking, cleaning, and grocery shopping. In college, I had just half a dorm room to take care of and a meal plan to nourish me. Again, that’s not how most of the world operates. But now that I’ve taken the time to practice, I’m grateful to be able to do these “adult” things at least semi-decently.
  3. Writing not only essays but cover letters, resumes, professional emails, newsletters, thank you letters, grants, and the list goes on. I know some of these things were taught at my university’s Career Center. And probably in the Business school. But nothing beats experience (especially since, as an English major, most of my prior experience was with William Wordsworth and T.S. Eliot). Now, I love being able to confidently tell potential employers that, whatever type of writing they need done, I can probably figure it out.
  4. Having fun. Yes, it may be backwards, but I’m a nerd and have learned how to have fun more after college than during it. In college, if a friend asked me to go on a walk just for fun, I’d nervously eye my to-do list and likely say no. Now, when a housemate asks me to sit on the porch and do nothing with her — nothing but sip our tea and talk and watch the sunset — I still have the to-do list but more likely say, “sure.” I love that doing nothing, which used to elicit a resounding “why would I do that?!” now elicits a resounding “sure, why not?!” This strikes me now as socially, spiritually, mentally, and physically healthy.
  5. Reading and writing for fun. By the end of college, poetry had lost its pizzazz and novels no longer seemed like a novel idea. They were assigned, analyzed, and amounted to a lot of work. Had I started grad school immediately, my reading and writing would have been burdensome from the get-go, which could easily have taken a toll on both my schoolwork and my mental health. Now, I love reading and writing more than ever.
  6. Focusing on what I should do and not being as distracted by what I could do. In college, I was a young arts & humanities major interested in lots of things. Ask me what I wanted to do professionally, and the answer got more and more muddled by the month. But, give me a job to do for a while, and the answers begin to settle. I’ve asked myself questions like “What is it that you can’t help but do? What is it you daydream about doing? What exactly could you see working on in-depth for a long while?” And I love that the answers have gotten clearer.

I’m sure this isn’t everyone’s experience of college and life-after-college. Plenty of people have practical experiences, fun, focus, and their own cooking and cleaning during college. And plenty of people struggle after college. But this has been my experience.

If you’re thinking about taking time off from higher education, I’d so strongly encourage you to do it. I never thought I’d say this but: I’m grateful I’ve done it.

This post originally appeared on juliapowersblog.com.

View More: http://kristianewebb.pass.us/julia-headshotsJulia Powers is Blog Developer at EA Resources. A writer and seminary student at Duke Divinity School, Julia enjoys contributing an emerging adult voice to EA Resources and blogging at her own site www.juliapowersblog.com.

5 Important Talks to have with your High School Grad – from Huffington Post

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There is so much that you want to say to your child in those final last days before dropping them off on campus.  When the time arrives, some parents respond by going into a last-minute cram session with their child while others are so overwhelmed with their own thoughts and emotions that they are left speechless.

  • What should you say?
  • What do you NOT say?

Here is an article from the Huffington Post that can equip parents for making sure that they have addressed some of the important issues.

The five conversations listed by Dr. Gail Gross are…

1.  Drugs and Alcohol

2.  Sex

3.  Consequences

4.  Money

5. Your support

If you want an article on any of these topics, click the link.

 

 

 

The Forgotten Half: Reaching those who don’t attend college.

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YSBlog-768x485_forgotten-half

Here is an article that I wrote that was recently featured on the Youth Specialties Blog.  If you have a passion to change the future of the church, join me in conversations about emerging adults at the National Youth Workers Conference.

In the United States, the societal expectation to attend college can be intense.  Any graduating senior can attest to the pressure.  In the fall of 2015, approximately 20.2 million students attended American colleges and universities.  (SOURCE)

BUT IS EVERYBODY REALLY ATTENDING COLLEGE?

The Forgotten Half of emerging adults refers to emerging adults who do not go to college.  Jeffrey Arnett used this expression during an address at the 2015 Conference of the SOCIETY FOR THE STUDY OF EMERGING ADULTHOOD).  Although college remains a popular choice, many emerging adults do not attend, and are often forgotten in research conducted on college campuses.

Read the rest of the article – HERE!

David - Prof 2Dr. G. David Boyd is the Founder and Managing Director of EA Resources, a non-profit that seeks to equip parents and churches to meet the needs of emerging adults.  If he can help your community, contact him at gdavid@earesources.org.

Do we still believe in rape?

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This news story has made me ask the question, “Do we still believe in rape?”

An 18-year-old accused of sexually assaulting two high school classmates is facing two years of probation despite the district attorney’s office’s recommendation of two years in prison.

PHOTO: Pictured is David Becker, 18, of East Longmeadow, Massachusetts.David Becker, of East Longmeadow, Massachusetts, was charged with two counts of rape and one count of indecent assault and battery, according to court documents, after an April 2 incident in which he was accused of digitally penetrating two girls who were sleeping in a bed after a house party. Becker and the alleged victims, who are not being identified, were all seniors.

You can read the rest of the article here!

Image result for brock turnerI hope that our nation still believes in rape.  Several high profile rape cases among young adults have received alarmingly light sentences.  A Stanford University student named Brock Turner received a six month sentence for what his father described as “twenty minutes of action” when he rapped an unconscious woman.

In David Becker’s case, the judge stated that “The goal of this sentence was not to impede this individual from graduating high school and to go onto the next step of his life, which is a college experience.”  The judge’s statement makes the assumption that all emerging adults go to college, and that college is an inherent right to young adults.

But the judge also believes that this sex offender has the right to a “normal” life.

I do believe in forgiveness and restoration.  However, I also believe in the importance of personal autonomy – which is the ability to make decisions and deal with the consequences.

Whatever lies ahead in this young man’s future (and I do hope it includes forgiveness and restoration), I do not imagine that this young man’s future will remain unaffected by his crime.  In spite of his light sentence, the social and psychological affects to his crimes will follow him for many years.

As I reflect on the judge’s assumptions and perspective, I see another viewpoint.

I am wondering about the victims.  Do his victims have the right to a “normal” life?  How will these events affect their college experience?

I am wondering about the growing number of victims from sexual crimes that fill our schools, homes, and churches.  I wonder if their stories are slowly being altered.  I wonder if their cries are being muffled.  I wonder if their wounds are bleeding anew.

I hope that our society can still see the benefit of morality.  In a world where sexual bondage is presented as appropriate (50 Shades of Gray) and where we promote and glorify the connection between sex and power, I hope we can find the God-ordained purpose of sex.

I hope that in this darkness, we can remove sex from the obsession it has become in our society and realize that sex will never fulfill us.

I hope that we still believe in rape.

 

David - Prof 2Dr. G. David Boyd is the manager of EA Resources, and the Founder of the EA Network, a network for those who minister to emerging adults.