Category Archives: For Parents

The First Two Weeks – Guide for the Praying Parent

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tips for parents praying for their college student

While some parents may not pray because they are too busy, I believe that there are others who don’t pray because they don’t know what to say.  While an “awkward” moment before friends can be laughed at, what if your prayer time is “awkward.”

Here is a great article that provides tips for Parents of college students.

I hope that it will turn your prayer life from “awkward” to powerful.

First2Weeks_v1 (1)Please join us in our First Two Weeks Campaign.  The purpose of this prayer campaign is to remind Christians to pray for college students during their first two weeks on campus.

You can read more here!

 

 

The First 2 Weeks – A Call to Prayer for those Returning to Campus

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Replace your profile picture with this image to remind others to pray for emerging adults.

Emerging adults are heading back to college campuses.  While this causes many parents to worry, and many religious to fear, it should lead us to pray.

“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.”  Philippians 4:6

Pray, and ask others to join you in prayer.

Kara Powell and Chap Clark in their book Sticky Faith say, “Over and over, students have told us that the first two weeks at college are when they make key decisions about drinking and other high-risk behaviors, right along with choosing whether to go to church or to a campus ministry.”  (Powell and Clark)  While many may not immediately participate in risky behavior, they do make social decisions that determine their social community for several years.

Let us show emerging adults that while on campus…

  • They are still relevant to our lives.
  • Their work on campus is relevant to the Kingdom of God.
  • They are still an important piece of our spiritual community.
  • They are not forgotten.

The purpose of the “First 2 Weeks” Campaign is to remind the Church to support and encourage emerging adults.

This prayer campaign is not just for parents.  It is for youth workers, grandparents, uncles, aunts, brothers, sisters, pastors, friends, and anyone else who cares about the spiritual needs of emerging adults.

As the Church, let us show Emerging Adults through text, facebook, and tweet that they are not forgotten (#first2weeks).  They are not in another reality.  They are not so far away.

Help us build a prayer moment for Emerging Adults by…

  1.  Use the buttons below to like and SHARE this article on Facebook.
  2. Replace your profile picture with the “First Two Weeks” image.
  3. Tweet your prayers for an emerging adult with the hashtag #first2weeks.
  4.  Encourage your church community to join the movement by contacting your youth workers or senior pastor.

May we truly be the body of Christ, not in words only, but also in deeds.

 

Resources

Powell, Kara and Chap Clark.  Sticky Faith:  Everyday ideas to build lasting faith in your kids.

Wholeness Parenting: An Alternative to Helicopter Parenting

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UntitledI came across an article that provides an alternative to the dreaded “Helicopter Parenting.”  (What is Helicopter Parenting?)

The article is written from a Faith perspective by Lisa Jo Baker, a mother of younger children.

Here is the link!

David Boyd 1 (1)

As parents, it is crucial that you allow your children to develop autonomy – the ability to make decisions and deal with the consequences.  (Click Here to read more!)

If you would like to provide an alternative to helicopter-parenting to your church community, please contact me at gdavid@earesources.org.

 

Kids of Helicopter Parents Are Sputtering Out

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Here is an excerpt from How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success by Julie Lythcott-Haims.  

Stressed out student in hallway of school building.

I haven’t read the book yet, but it is now on my reading list!

Here is the link to the article.

Here are few quotes:

  • “The data emerging confirms the harm done by asking so little of our kids when it comes to life skills, yet so much of them when it comes to academics.” Maturity and success as an adult is not based upon academic rigor.
  • “My guess is 75 percent of the parents would rather see their kids depressed at Yale. They figure that the kid can straighten the emotional stuff out in his/her 20’s, but no one can go back and get the Yale undergrad degree.”  As a parent, is your concern for their achievement, or their emotional health?
  • “As parents, our intentions are sound—more than sound: We love our kids fiercely and want only the very best for them. Yet, having succumbed to a combination of safety fears, a college admissions arms race, and perhaps our own needy ego, our sense of what is “best” for our kids is completely out of whack.”  Do you allow your children the freedom to succeed or fail without becoming overly involved or emotional?

It is crucial for parents to allow their emerging adults to develop autonomy – which is the ability to make decisions and deal with the consequences.

 

 

Young Adult Unemployment – Does your church community care?

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Earlier this week, I posted how an article that shared a Millennial’s journey through unemployment.

Emerging adults who are unemployed (or underemployed) will not break down the door to your church office asking for help.  They will not demand that the church do anything for them at all.  You might not even know they [unemployed emerging adults] exist.

They do exist.  If your church wants to minister to Emerging adults, then we must seek ways to make a difference in their lives.

Here is a chart recently released by the Economic Policy Institute.

Here are some highlights from the article.

  • …young workers always experience disproportionate increases in unemployment during periods of labor market weakness…
  • Unemployment and underemployment rates among young graduates are improving but remain substantially higher than before the recession began.
  • [These high rates of unemployment]… stems from weak demand for goods and services, which makes itunnecessary for employers to significantly ramp up hiring.
  • Wages of young college and high school graduates are performing poorly—and are substantially lower today than in 2000. The real (inflation-adjusted) wages of young high school graduates are 5.5 percent lower today than in 2000, and the wages of young college graduates are 2.5 percent lower.
  • The cost of higher education has grown far more rapidly than median family income, leaving students with little choice but to take out loans which, upon graduating into a labor market with limited job opportunities, they may not have the funds to repay.
  • Graduating in a weak economy has long-lasting economic consequences. Economic research suggests that for the next 10 to 15 years, those in the Class of 2015 will likely earn less than if they had graduated when job opportunities were plentiful.

May God lead your community to be a place that understands and is willing to do what it takes to minister to Emerging adults.

Ddavid in hat - blackr. G. David Boyd is the Founder and Managing Director of EA Resources.

Responding to the Unemployed Millennials in Your Church

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Here is a piece that was written by a Millennial that I recently met at a conference.

After high school, I went to a Technical College for a two-year Associates Degree in Law Enforcement. After Graduating in 2009, I started searching for a job.  I applied for any job opening in Corrections to being a Police Officer.

After three years and over sixty applications I still did not have a job due to my lack of experience.  During this time, I was living with my parents, and working part-time at Rainbow Foods to help pay my student loans.

© 2008 Erich Ferdinand, Flickr | CC-BY | via Wylio

As a young man, I faced constant discouragement and shame for not having a full-time job and living at home.   People at church would always approach me with the same three questions, “What are you doing?”, “Where do you live?”, and “Where are you working?”   People would keep saying things like, “just keep applying,” but these words were not encouraging.

After three years of applications, I felt the Lord was calling me back to school to get another degree.   I continued my education on-line, and now have a B.A.  Unfortunately, I still don’t have a job, and working part-time with student loans barely covers my loans.

Being 26 years old and living with you parents has some real challenges, but fortunately my parents are very supportive of me.  Sometimes people will suggest that I once again go back to school, and get yet another degree because that job field is hard to get into, dying, shrinking, or because they think you should do something different.

However, more schooling and a higher debt load doesn’t seem hopeful.

I asked the writer some questions about how the church could help emerging adults in his position, and here are his responses.

What can the church do to help people who are young and jobless?

The church could help people who are young and jobless through having specific people checking in on them from month to month.  They should be people who know how to ask the right questions, and equipped to help me in my journey.  I think that they could also create connections so the congregation is aware of those looking for employment.  Members of the church can be part of the network that leads emerging adults to their next job.

What could people say to those who are young and jobless?

People should be more careful how and what they say to those who are unemployed.  I found the words, “I’m praying for you” encouraging, or “I am keeping an eye out for jobs for you.”  The hardest questions are asking “where are you living” because I then have to tell them I still live with my parents – which comes with additional shame.

What do you want people to know or understand about yourself and others like you in the church? 

I want people to understand that getting a degree and finding a job isn’t always easy. I myself never thought I would still be living at home at 26 without a fulltime job, and I think, people need to be more understanding at the difficulties facing emerging adults.   Parents should understand that after graduation, their children might have to live at home while searching for a job – and it should be ok.

What keeps you going?

My motivation comes from God and my parents. I know God is there for me, and is providing for me through this journey.  He always seems to provide encouragement when I need it the most. My parents are very supportive of me.  They have sought to understand my situation, and defended me when people ask why they allow me to still live with them.

EA Resources is seeking contributions from Millennials who want the Church to hear their voice.  If want to contribute, please contact us at gdavid@earesources.org.  These pieces are tagged “Millennial Voices.”

 

Frank Powell on Addressing “The Millennial Exodus”

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I came across this article this past week during my reading, and I wanted to share it with my readers.  Millennials are leaving the faith, and if you care about the lost, then we must examine why.

Millennials leaving the church

The piece reflects many of the same points made in other pieces about why Millennials are leaving the church.  Here is my voice in the discussion of the Millennial Exodus.   The author mentions the Millennials’ boredom with worship turf wars, and the corporate structure of the church, and then throws in plenty of accusations towards others who are making Jesus “cool” or “hip” (I have never really seen anyone do this, but I assume it is being done since so many reference it.)

Here are a few noteworthy quotes.

  • I want desperately to love the people “out there” more than I love the people “in here.” I think others do as well. (Removing our Christian Bubbles.)
  • Corporate worship is powerful. But I wonder if the church hasn’t made an idol out of worship. We spend an enormous amount of time debating it and arguing over it.
  • Jesus isn’t American. And America isn’t God’s country. Or maybe it is. But not any more than Mexico, Germany, or Japan. America doesn’t have a stranglehold on God. God is bigger than that. If he’s not, I don’t want to serve him.
  • Here’s the deal. I want to actually love the sinner. Many times I am not sure how. But I want to try.

Here is the Article!

Dr. G. David Boyd is the Founder and Managing Director of EA Resources, a non-profit designed to equip churches to minister to Emerging Adults.

 

Is there more grace for child-like men than for child-like women?

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I recently came across an article that discussed how movies which display men who are delayed in accepting adult roles and behavior (Failure to Launch, Happy Gilmore, Knocked Up) are more accepted by audiences because their is more grace for men who delayed in their development than for women.  annie

Here are some interesting quotes from the article:

  • In each of those cases, the protagonist has been led astray from a traditional path to adulthood, but their resulting antics — drinking a lot, general laziness and immaturity — are played for laughs and rarely, if ever, become dilemmas worthy of audience sympathy.
  • “If you’re a female, then you should have your shit together and you should be figuring it out,” Anna Kendrick said, discussing the role. “With men it’s just like, ‘Oh, you know, he’s just still a frat boy at heart, and it’s no big deal.’”
  • Something is set up as ostensibly wrong with the woman-child, while the male version is explained away with the idea that “boys will be boys.
  • “I think the kind of outlet for the contemporary woman-child is that there doesn’t seem to be any exit or even desire to exit this kind of liminal state, that is both economic and in terms of identity and maturity,” said Clark. “Marriage doesn’t seem to be the out anymore.”

Here is the link to the article.

I believe that the author has a point.  I am not sure how this extra grace towards men (who won’t grow up) works out in our families, and our communities of faith.  Regardless, delayed development is not a laughing matter.

Here are some articles about delayed development.

David Boyd 1 (1)Dr. G. David Boyd is the Founder and Managing Director of EA Resources, a non-profit designed to equip parents and churches to minister to Emerging Adults.

 

 

Paying for Millennials to Speak about the Church

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Many studies have been completed on why Millennials are leaving the church.

Many writers have pontificated on why Millennials are leaving the church.  (Here is something that I wrote on this topic.)

church (2)Both are important for discussing this issue, and moving us towards solutions.  However, it is not enough.

In order for us to understand Millennials and their love/hate relationship with the church, we must hear their voices.

EA Resources is looking for articles and videos that answer the question:

Why I left the church? or Why I have stuck with the church?

For articles and videos that we choose to purchase, the individual will be paid $100.  Here are a few notes:

  • The article/video will become property of EA Resources.
  • The article/video may not have been previously published (unless it was on your personal blog/website).
  • The article/video must be from someone between the ages of 18-28 due to our desire to hear from Emerging Adults.
  • We will pay $100 for articles/videos accepted for publication.
  • Please keep your submissions brief and powerful.  Written submissions should be approximately 300 words.  Videos should be under 5 minutes in length.
  • Articles/videos can be submitted to Dr. G. David Boyd at gdavid@earesources.org.

If you know of a Millennial who can share their story well about either why they have left, or why they have stuck with the church, please share this article.

I look forward to hearing your voice!

David Boyd 1 (1)Dr. G. David Boyd is the Managing Director of EA Resources, a non-profit designed to help parents and churches minister to emerging adults.

Millennials, Sexuality, and Reproductive Health Survey

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New Research was released earlier this year discussing the views of Millennials towards sex and reproductive heath.  It studied 2,314 Millennials between the ages of 18-34.

Here is a link if you want to read it – Click Here!

Here is a link if you want to watch a video – Click Here!  Warning – It is 2 hours long!

The 2015 Millennials, Sexuality, and Reproductive Health Survey was released on Friday, March 27 at The Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation in Washington, D.C.   by the Public Religion Research Institute.

It is a fascinating read for pastors, leaders, and parents of Emerging Adults.  Here are a few fascinating notes:

  • When evaluating the morality of sexual behaviors, millennials generally do not make black-and white judgments, but rather factor circumstances into their reasoning.
  • On the issue of abortion, millennials strongly factor specific circumstances into their moral evaluations.
  • Millennials view women having a full-time job as a less serious problem for families than men who concentrate too much on work.
  •  One-third (33%) of millennials are religiously unaffiliated, making it the single most common religious identity among this generation.

There is so much in this study, and I hope to dive more into this research in the weeks to come, and what it means for the church.  If you want to support my research, please contact me, or donate here.

David Boyd 1 (1)

Dr. G. David Boyd is the Founder and Managing Director of EA Resources, a non-profit designed to equip parents and churches to minister to Emerging Adults.