What pains me is the defensive reactions of (typically older) generations that have said: “What are we going to do about those darn millennials?” That have talked at us more than talked with us.
Category Archives: For Parents
Why teens are leaving Facebook: “It’s Meaningless”
I found this article on the Washington Post, and I wanted to share some highlights with my readers. Here is the full article.
Here are some of my favorite lines from the article, and my response.
- Teens are leaving Facebook in droves for new friends like Instagram, Snapchat and Twitter — at an estimated rate of up to a million a year. This is not new news, but the decline started almost three years ago. Seeing the decline, Facebook bought Instagram in 2012 for less than $1 Billion.
- With widespread parental supervision on the service, many teenagers prefer the anonymity of Whisper, the iPhone era’s version of PostSecret. Unfortunately, many teens and adults believe that social media is temporary and private. However, anyone can instantly take a screen shot and turn that pic or joke that you thought would go away into a permanent regret.
- “I feel like friend is becoming very vague,” he argued. “It’s like the word love… You say love to a lot of people and things you don’t actually love. It’s more of a compliment now. I know you and I’ll talk to you. It’s like saying, ‘We can converse.’ It’s kind of like being polite.” This young man explains how social media has changed the concept of friendship in our world. The word friend has been water-downed to include more people, yet less intimacy.
- For Eric, adapting to a new type of social media is like learning a new language — a feat studies have shown is easier for young people than it is adults. While I completely agree with Eric, I think that those who believe that adults will not follow their children are underestimating the power of parental curiosity.
- Cnet’s Jennifer Van Grove adds that apps like Snapchat are the “opposite of Facebook: simple, seemingly secret, and fun.” Van Grove writes, “Around schools, kids treat these apps like pot, enjoyed in low-lit corners, and all for the undeniable pleasure and temporary fulfillment of feeling cool.” I believe that the future of social media will promote social exclusivity and practicality uses.
Dr. G. David Boyd is the Founder and Managing Director of EA Resources.
Why are Today’s College Students So Emotionally Fragile?
T
he college years have traditionally been a time for young people to be challenged by new ideas, learn to think critically, and assume greater responsibility for their lives, as they assume their roles as adult citizens. Unfortunately, the past few years have witnessed high levels of emotional dependency, anxiety, and depression among American college students. Continue reading
3 Ways to Not Talk to Your Child about Sex – Guest Post
Messages about sex fill our society, and many of the messages are not healthy. In our sex-saturated society it is crucial that we speak to our children about their sexuality.
As fathers, it can be intimidating, but don’t worry…
- you don’t have to cover it all at once (but it should be the first of many conversations).
- you don’t have to know everything about it.
- you don’t have to be smooth and polished.
However, don’t wait until you feel ready or you may never do it. Here is an article that I recently found that provides parents some pointers when talking to your children about sex.
In my conversations with emerging adults and teens around the country, one theme continually roars up to the surface…no one is talking with Christians about sexuality. I know that kind of statement colors way too many people with the same drab crayon, but my own research, and that of a lot of other good people studying the sexuality among Christian folks, makes it pretty clear that the exceptions are few – especially in the mainstream evangelical world.
Read the remainder of the article HERE!
Picture Source: http://adammearse.com
Adam Mearse is a pastor and blogger at www.AdamMearse.com.
The “Millennial Exodus” – Is the Future of the Church at Stake?
The Pew Research released a new study confirming that Millennials are exiting the church. If you missed the articles, you can read more HERE and HERE.
I have often heard the expression, “The Church is one generation from extinction” as a reason why youth/children’s ministry is important for the church.
I hate that statement – because it is not true.
The church is not in danger of extinction. Do not fret over the future of HIS church, but have faith in its Owner and Builder and the One who says, “I will always have remnant unto myself.” (Romans 11:3-5) God’s church will stand forever, and even “the gates of hell will not prevail against it.” (Matthew 16:18)
© 2015 Paxson Woelber, Flickr | CC-BY | via Wylio
While the future of the church is NOT at stake; however, the future church may look different.
In the Old Testament, God’s people experienced many times of transition. In Ezra 3, the Jews having been released from Babylonian captivity are working to rebuild the temple. It was a monumental time of celebration; however, we also read:
Yet many of the priests and Levites and heads of fathers’ households, the old men who had seen the first temple, wept with a loud voice when the foundation of this house was laid before their eyes.
Those who had seen the beauty of the first temple were sad because this new temple did not measure up. The passage describes how that within the crowd – some wept while others rejoiced.
As I read Ezra 3, I ask a few questions.
- Did the change in the temple’s foundation display God’s abandonment of His people?
- Did the change in the temple’s foundation reveal that God’s glory was fading?
- Did the change in the temple’s foundation herald that God’s working would be lessened?
I believe that the answer to all three questions is NO. So, what was the cause of their tears?
The future of the church is not at stake; however,
© 2014 Hoshi_sae, Flickr | CC-BY | via Wylio
There will be tears – for those who cling to past forms and formulas of religious institutions. Those who sit in leadership will weep as they see ‘their power’ slipping away.
Tears will fall for the loss of their “majority”.
Tears will fall for the loss of big church and big budgets.
There are tears for those who live in days gone by still looking for God to move as He did in days past. There will be tears.
Tears will fall for those who can only see what was, and assume that what was is what should be.
God’s Spirit is not confined to the forms and formulas of today’s world. God’s work is often found outside religious institutions (If in doubt, check the New Testament.). God’s voice still speaks to those who listen, and has not lost its power.
His spirit is powerful, and working in lives. His breath can shake the mountains. His word can break stone and melt iron. His will can move the hardest of hearts and stir the slumber to action. So may we cling to the power of the word. May we read the word. May we bring his word to those in power.
Lord, may I bring introduce the power of your word to a new generation. And sit back and watch in wonder and amazement as you work in new ways, in new forms, and to a people that You have reserved unto Yourself.
May I not cry at the laying of a new foundation. May I rejoice. May I save my tears. May my hope rest in God alone.
Sola de Gloria.
Dr. G. David Boyd is the Founder and Managing Director of EA Resources, a non-profit that focuses on providing resources to churches and parents who love emerging adults.
Signs of Helicopter Parenting – A Visual Guide by Hannah Marks
I recently came across a visual guide that describes Helicopter Parenting and its affects upon emerging adults. While many adults want to give their children autonomy, not all parents recognize when they are too involved in the lives of their children.
Hannah Marks is the Outreach Manager of the Yellowbrick Program. You can access the full article at www.yellowbrickprogram.com.
Related Articles:
When Does A Boy Become A Man In His Mother’s Eyes?
I recently came across this well-written article, and I wanted to share it with my readers. The author, Melissa Schultz, is a mother who is transitioning from a full house into an empty nest. She shares her mother’s perspective on what it means to be a man.
The positives of this article:
- It doesn’t link manhood to various traditional, yet lacking markers – like having children, making money, or growing a beard.
- Great portrayal of a mother’s struggle to allow her children to grow up. “And then, even then, when we see our sons as men, sometimes, we still secretly see them as our little boys. Because we want to. Not because they are.”
- Gives several inadequate markers of manhood, but doesn’t fully answer the question, “What makes a man?” Her answer is, “For me, a boy becomes a man when he lets himself fall in love. It says he’s ready and willing to discover who he really is, to take risks; to care for someone other than himself.” While the ability to fall in love can be a mark of knowing who they really are (self-discovery), take risks (courage), and caring for others (self-less), these characteristics are still greatly lacking.
I think that all emerging adults regularly ask themselves if they are truly an adult. As children, they long every day to arrive, and yet often never fully feel satisfied in their arrival. These uncertain feelings can lead our children to a lack of confidence and confusion.
While we can never adequately define adulthood, we can work to give our children the confidence that they need in their journey. During my research, one of the powerful interview moments that I had was when one young man told me that he knew he was a man because, “My dad told me so.”
Take time today to encourage your children in their pursuit of adulthood. May you be a channel of confidence that they need to take the next step.
Here are some additional articles that encourage you (or someone you love) in this pursuit.
Dr. G. David Boyd is the Founder and Managing Director of EA Resources, a non-profit designed to encourage emerging adults and their parents.
Three Marks of the Spiritually Immature
Here is a picture of my youngest – Tobias.
Babies require a lot of attention.
- Babies cannot feed themselves.
- Babies stick.
- Babies can’t defend themselves.
As a father of three boys, I have personally experienced these truth, and as a leader in the church I have noticed some parallels between babies and the spiritually immature.
The Spiritually mature feed themselves.
Here is Andrew, my middle child when he was about 2 years old.
The immature show up to church every Sunday (some of them NEVER miss), and open their mouths saying, “Feed me.” The spiritual parent provides a message that they quickly swallow, and they never eat again until the following Sunday. Like baby birds who eat their mother’s regurgitated worms, spoon spoon-fed Christians eat only what they are given.
A follower of Jesus has tasted how good He is, and desire more. 1 Peter 2:2 says, “Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation, now that you have tasted that the Lord is good.” However, many Christians have filled their natural desire for God with other appetites of the Flesh.
As a disciple matures in faith, he or she is no longer dependent on others for nourishment. Disciples are able to connect with God on a personal level – through listening to His voice, and responding.
The Spiritually mature don’t stink.
Babies often stink. When babies make a mess (in their diaper), they don’t just say, “Mom/Dad, don’t you worry. I will take care of that foul odor coming from my backside by changing my undergarments.” When stinky, babies often don’t notice. As they turn into toddlers, children either cry when dirty, or run off and hide.
Babies are not able to always discern the disgusting from the amazing, and when they are discovered playing in the disgusting, they don’t know what to do. Being aware of the power of sin in our lives, and daily surrendering our lives to Jesus is a step of maturity. The spiritually mature are aware of the messes that they make in their own lives (and how their sins affect others), and are proactive in cleaning up the mess left behind.
The Spiritually mature can defend themselves.
A parent of a baby is always on duty (especially when children are old enough to walk, but not old enough to discern danger). The immature are unable to sense danger whether it comes from an electrical socket or a car. The spiritually immature are unable to discern truth from error. Whether surfing the web or listening to the radio, they are drawn, and persuaded by what their ears want to hear. (2 Timothy 4:3) The spiritually mature have the ability to listen to others, without feeling the need to change their own beliefs, or the necessity to prove others wrong.
Physical age and spiritual maturity are easily confused by those who have never had the later (like Mayo and Miracle Whip). However, true disciples accept no substitute.
Dr. G. David Boyd is the Founder and Managing Director of EA Resources. He is an avid lover of Legos, video games, and anything related to the Marvel Universe.
Why You Need to Be Yourself When Marketing to Millennials
Earlier this week, I posted an article about Hilary Clinton’s tweet that offended Millennials and how the church can learn from her mistake.
Here is a new article that while focusing on marketing can reveal how churches often drive Millennials away.
Authenticity is a buzzword – especially among churches.
Yet the meaning is different for Millennials that other generations (Read more HERE).
If you are seeking Millennials, it is crucial to be true to yourself. As I reflected on how churches attempt to appeal to Millennials in inauthentic ways, here are a few questions that came to mind.
1. Do you claim to be non-denominational, and yet have clear ties and restricted beliefs for your community?
2. Do you claim diversity, and yet have none? (For example, when using “Stock” photos, do you accurately represent your community?)
3. Do you claim to be earth-friendly, and yet don’t recycle? I know of two large churches in my community who actually put out recycling containers to appear eco-friendly, and yet were unwilling to pay for recycling (and they were throwing the recyclables in the garbage).
4. Do you claim to empower women and yet don’t have any in leadership?
I do not believe that you have to change your communities policies in these areas; however, you should accurately display them.
The main point of the article is that we should truly express our community’s set of beliefs (rather than hiding – or using a “bait and switch” technique). While these beliefs may turn away some people, they will help others find a place where they belong.
Dr. G. David Boyd is the Founder and Managing Director of EA Resources. If he can assist your community to reach Millennials, please contact him at gdavid@earesources.org.
A Two-Minute Prayer for College Students
As part of our prayer campaign for college students (called “The First Two Weeks”) Here is something that you can use as a prayer guide.
© 2013 mer chau, Flickr | CC-BY | via Wylio
Lord, we pray for the protection of (name)
We ask that you would guard their heart and their mind in Christ Jesus
That you would wrap them up in Your love
And deliver them from all evil
Lord, we pray that you would give (name) great enthusiasm for their studies
May you inspire them each and everyday
May each seminar and class bring fresh inspiration to their work
May each moment be filled with the energy they need for their tasks
Lord, we pray that (name) would know the hope to which they are called
That their life would be transformed by revelation from Heaven
That You would inspire their direction
And gently lead them into their destiny
Lord, we especially pray for (name’s) friends at college
May they come to know Your goodness and love
To walk in Your freedom and grace
All the days of their life
Amen.
Read more: http://www.lords-prayer-words.com/prayers_before/prayers_for_students.html#ixzz3hrVQL3IA