It is easy to look back and see I how got there. It is easy to look back and see how I started the journey back. Although at the time, I didn’t see the signs that led me in, or led me out. Somehow when you are in the midst of a struggle, all signs seem to vanish. Continue reading
Category Archives: For Emerging Adults
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Starting a College Ministry
Whenever I talk to people about what I do, they usually respond in two ways.
1. “Our church doesn’t have anything for young adults.”
2. “Our church would never be able to start something.”
And when I hear these responses, it reminds me over and over again, why I love what I get to do.
I first want to clarify what I mean by college ministry. College ministry is finding ways to minister God’s love and grace to the emerging adults within and outside our church community. Your church may not be able to build a huge, thriving, spiritual “hang-out” community for young adults, but you can create ways to minister to emerging adults in your community.
I also would never call it a ministry to college students because not everyone who graduates from high school goes to college. I gave it that title becase those are currently the words that people type who are searching the internet for answers. They should be called Emerging Adults (or at least go old-school and use the title “Young Adults”).
So before your community develops ways to minister to emerging adults, ask yourself three questions.
Who is your audience?
There is a reason why this question is first. You cannot answer the second two questions until you have the first. A ministry should not be launched by local demographics, but by who do you currently have committed to your community.
This is not because I don’t believe in reaching out, but because I believe that evangelism is best done through current social circles, rather than slick posters and hip events. So start with who is attending your church already. If you have no one currently attending, then ask who in this age demographic has had previous contact with your church.
As you identity both leaders and attenders of this new ministry, invite them to join you in answering questions two and three.
What is your mission?
I am not that you need to write a purpose statement/missions/values and objectives before you do ministry. While there may be some merit to the business-oriented “Purpose-Driven” method, I have found that its values have been overstated (although greatly appreciated by modernistic baby boomers and baby busters).
It is essential to know what we want out of this age group. Do we want to provide an extended “youth group,” or what do we hope to accomplish through trying to start this ministry? I believe that the purpose of any emerging adult ministry should be tailored to the values and vision of your church. Don’t launch a college ministry to appease a vocal parent whose child didn’t go to college. You shouldn’t do it because it is a missing program in your portfolio. You shouldn’t do it because you somewhere to recruit more youth workers.
One right reason is because you have a passion to see emerging adults shepherded, and parents loved as they walk through these years. However, there could be other reasons.
What are your resources?
After feeling God’s direction to your ministry, take a look around you and see what resources you possess in order to make it happen. The three main resources are money, people, and possessions. Think through each of these areas: money, possessions, and people.
Money – You are probably asking, “What money?” When I first started our college ministry, we didn’t have much money. I had to borrow from the youth ministry budget in order to buy so much as a pizza. It took time to build this resource, and to convince people that financial support would make an impact. Acquiring money takes time, and therefore requires planning. However, don’t make money an obstacle. Remember that the church budget isn’t the only source of funds. Some emerging adults have money, and don’t need you to pick up the tab on the pizza.
Possessions – Launching a ministry doesn’t require a lot, but some tools in your toolbox might help your work progress faster. Does your community have a building or a space to meet? If it doesn’t, are there people in your congregation that would open up their house to the group? After you have the basic necessities met, you might start looking to see about other possessions, like vehicles, cabins, or boats that would be available to the group.
People – This is the most important, and I save it for last. A good team will be the best indicator as to whether or not your group is going to grow. Remember that your team should not be all from the same age group. Make sure that your team does include some emerging adults. Look around your current community to see who might be available, and have a willing heart to commit to helping them.
Dr. G. David Boyd is the Founder and Managing Director of EA Resources. Contact him at gdavid@earesources.org, if he can help your community to better minister to the challenges and needs of emerging adults.
Life with big student debt: tales from four college graduates
I wanted to share an article with my readers about living life with student debt.
The average debt for a graduating student in 2013 was $32,500 (Source). This number continues to escalate with the rise in college tuition. This number includes an average of $3,000 in credit card debt.
If you don’t have time to read the whole article, here are a few notes:
1. Big-name schools are not always worth the big price tags.
It is important that you know that universities want your money. They NEED your money. As you step onto campus, please know that they are trying to sell you on their campus, their classes, and their reputation. Many schools say that their rankings or reputation will instantly open doorways to higher-paying jobs. In many situations, this is a marketing tool, and is not based upon real data. Jenny Hecht says, “I didn’t know that once I had my [master’s degree] nobody would care where it was from.”
2. Don’t take every loan that comes your way.
Education financing is a big business, and there are many people who will gladly give you loans that you feel will lead you to your dream life. However, many students are waking up from the dream, and realizing that being buried by debt is a nightmare. Before you accept a loan, make sure that you have done your homework.
“At 18 years old, you don’t really know what you’re getting yourself into,” says Gorden, who wishes more advice had been available then. “Those last two years, I was approved for over $60,000 – for a 20-year-old, without a cosigner, with no job, no sense of a future job – and they just gave it to me.”
As a emerging adult, you will be showered with money; however, none of it is free.
3. Educational Debt can grow even after college.
While you can request loan deferment or refinance, your debt will continue to grow if you are not able to make your payments. One student wrote that she owes about $5,000 more than she did when she graduated, due to a few years when she couldn’t cover all of the interest payments. Delaying payments on a loan is a serious decision, and should not be based solely upon your dream of one day landing a higher-paying job.
4. Take time to think about how your debt will affect your future.
It is important that you take responsibility to think through your financial future. Many students bury their heads in the sand, and ignore how debt will affect them. “But you don’t really think about what it actually means to have a house worth of debt, on a higher interest rate than a mortgage, until you’re getting close to graduating and thinking about having to repay them.” There are financial on-line tools available to you to help you understand what your future loan payments will be, and how they will affect your budget.
Education is an investment. Make sure that you make a wise decisions during the journey.
School Debt Consolidation – Don’t Get Fooled!
Thieves will always follow a trail of money. In today’s world, educational debt is a big business; therefore, it should not be a surprise us that people are making a living off stealing from those who are buried in school debt.
The average debt for a graduating student in 2013 was $32,500 (Source). This number continues to escalate with the rise in college tuition. This number includes an average of $3,000 in credit card debt. Debt is difficult to repay for students who graduate, but we must also remember those who are not able to finish their education.
Feelings of desperation causes people to run towards news that sounds too good to be true.
Here is the article that explains the scams.
Debt is not a game. It is real, and will affect your life. Proverbs 22:7 says, “The rich rule over the poor, and the borrower is servant to the lender.” As Christians, we must use wisdom as we make decisions about educational debt.
4 Ways to Know When God is Resetting Your Parental Narrative.
I found this article, and I know that it will be a great encouragement to both Emerging Adults and their parents. It is a great reminder to parents that worth is not based on the outcome of their children, but in the fact that the God of the universe loves them.
Is your identity based solely on God, or are you still seeking to find it in your children? Pastor Tom Goodman offers four qualities of parents who are no longer seeking validation from their children’s behavior.
1. You can rejoice with other parents.
2. You can react patiently to ignorance.
3. You can decide when you have done enough.
4. You can take pressure off other children.
Take a moment and recenter your worth, identity, and purpose in God alone.
A few basics to know about Emerging Adults and Eating Disorders
Adam Richman, host of the TV hit Man Versus Food, made recent news as his new show for the Travel Channel was postponed due to a social media rant that he delivered via Twitter. The conversation started with a Tweet that led to him calling people offensive names, and encouraging one reader to commit suicide.
Adam later apologized for his comments, but his actions reminded me how important it is for people to understand a few basics about those with eating disorders.
1. You won’t know who around you is struggling.
Up to 24 million people of all ages and genders suffer from an eating disorder (anorexia, bulimia and binge eating disorder) in the U.S. 95% of those who have eating disorders are reported by adolescents and emerging adults. Those who suffer with eating disorders work very hard to keep their struggles a secret.
You also cannot always tell by looking at a person. Not all people with disorders are under-weight, and not all skinny people are affected. In fact, 70 percent of women with eating disorders are at or above what’s considered a “healthy” weight (Source)
It is difficult to know the difference between those who use unsafe dietary practices, and those who trapped in an eating disorder. Over one-half of teenage girls and nearly one-third of teenage boys use unhealthy weight control behaviors such as skipping meals, fasting, smoking cigarettes, vomiting, and taking laxatives.17 (Statistics from the National Association of Anorexa Nervosa and Associated Disorders).
Most people believe that eating disorders only affect women; however, eating disorders affect men and women. Because of this stereotype, many men are ashamed to get help.
Don’t make assumptions about your friends If you have true concerns about your friend’s health, then ask them.
2. Eating disorders are more than wanting to look prettier.
Eating disorders often get misunderstood as someone who wants to be skinny or prettier. Eating disorders are not simply someone struggling with their body image. Almost 50% of people with eating disorders meet the criteria for depression (Source). While body image can be the cause, it is not the entire problem. Eating disorders can spring from a variety of causes.
Minimizing their struggles to an unhealthy body image, and their need to memorize a verse about God’s love for them will only build walls, and leave them feeling misunderstood.
3. People with eating disorders need professional help.
Eating disorders can be life threatening, and it is crucial to have a team of supporters to help them in their journey. Eating disorders are dangerous because they affect a person’s physical, emotional, and mental development. The mortality rate associated with anorexia nervosa is 12 times higher than the death rate associated with all causes of death for females 15-24 years. (Source) If a friend has sworn you to secrecy, break the silence, and force them to get help starting with those who know the individual.
As a support network is built, professional help is essential. Here is a list of starting locations that I found on-line (Simply Google, “Christian Eating Disorder Treatement Centers”)
4. People with eating disorders still need friends.
Anytime that someone struggles with an eating disorder, the diagnosis can become a wall that can separate them further from others. While you are not a therapist and cannot give them medical assistance, you can still be their friend.
Your friend is still the same person. Your relationship does not have to center on their struggles. Rediscover the original causes of your relationship, and focus on them. Seek out things to do that will allow you both to enjoy your surroundings, and build on other aspects of your friendship.
5. They need safe places.
Obesity is a national health crisis. Like other medical issues, jokes and mockery of those affected should be removed from the public sphere. Our media is filled with jokes about those who are obese. Do those who are obese know that feel accepted by you, and know they are loved? Our society is in need of individuals who are willing to stand up against those who make weight jokes. Indirect comments about clothing, exercise, and consumption of food. Jokes about eating disorders (purging, binging, and other aspects of these diseases) should not be accepted.
Dr. G. David Boyd is the Founder and Managing Director of EA Resources.
Man Versus Food Host gets hostile in Eating Disorder Discussion
Adam Richman made recent news as his new TV show for the Travel Channel was postponed due to a social media rant that he delivered via Twitter. The conversation started with a Tweet…
“Had ordered this suit from a Savile Row tailor over a year ago. Think I’m gonna need to take it in a little … #Victory #EyesOnThePrize #AnythingIsPossible #fitness #transformation #thinspiration.”
After quitting the binge eating episodes of Man versus Food, the actor and TV host lost sixty pounds. The picture that he tweeted displayed this incredible weight loss. The explosion centers on his use of the word “thinspiration.” The term “thinspiration” is used by people with eating disorders, who consider the word to refer to unhealthy ways to lose weight.
In the discussion, Adam Richman lost his temper, and said some not-so-pleasant things. NY Daily News sums it up, ”
Food-centric Travel Channel personality Adam Richman has had his latest show, set to premiere Wednesday, postponed after a vile rant online in which he encouraged one woman to commit suicide, calling another a “c—” and telling a third user to “eat a bag of s—.” (Article)
He eventually apologized for the comments that he made. I am surprised that Adam who has struggled with weight loss would turn his back on those who have shared his struggle.
With this conflict in the news, I wanted to discuss eating disorders. I don’t watch the show, but I am wondering what the show communicates about healthy eating habits. Maybe some of faithful watchers know, but I am wondering…
- Does the show ever address eating disorders?
- Is purging ever addressed?
- What are the affects of mass-consumption?
- To what extent do moments of mass-consumption affect weight/loss?
As competitive eating events and shows like “Man Versus Food Nation” have become worthy of national attention, so does a discussion about how these shows affect our views of eating.
If you think the show is no big deal, and funny to watch, maybe it is when you don’t consider the affects on those who have eating disorders, or simply struggle with weight loss. I have to admit most TV is simply about amusing us (causing us not to think, rather than evaluating it).
My next post will be, “What you should know about your friends with eating disorders.” I will include the shocking statistics of Emerging adults who are struggling.
If you have struggled with an eating disorder during early adulthood (18-30), or you are a parent of a child who struggled as a young adult, please use your story to encourage others. If you are willing to share a portion of your journey, please let me know at gdavid@earesources.org.
My Mustard Seed
Faith is often full of doubt.
Mark 9 is the story of a father who believed God, and yet also doubted God.
We know that it was not the father’s first attempt to heal his son, because he had taken him to Jesus’ disciples, and they were unable to heal him. I doubt this was the father’s first attempt to find miraculous healing from God. Continue reading
Sex in the Church
Earlier this week, I shared an article from Thom Rainer about the changes in the sexual standards and beliefs of Millennials. While the article shows how things have changed, it doesn’t explore how to respond.
Few Christians doubt that society’s views of sex have changed. The bigger question is, “How does a church respond?” Continue reading