EA Resources | Category | For Emerging Adults

Millennials and the Fuss over Authenticity

Posted on May 13, 2015 by G. David Boyd 2

Millennials value Authenticity. However, what does this really mean? People have asked me about what the Millennial’s meaning of authenticity, and how their perception is different than other generations.

There is a difference.

According to Karl Moore, in an article on Forbes called, “Authenticity: The Way to the Millennial’s Heart”, he states that “We must better understand the postmodern worldview to effectively work with Millennials.”

I completely agree.

I believe that many problems faced by the institutional church are based on the inability of modernistic leadership to lead, communicate, or attract those with a postmodern worldview. The gap between these two ways of viewing ourselves, our world, and our God have erupted into multiple problems for church unity, and the Kingdom of God. Unfortunately, many Christians believe that the Christian faith can only exist within a modern mindset, and therefore those who speak about postmodernism are enemies of God.

However, God is neither Modern nor Postmodern.

The Christian faith can flourish within both the failings of modernity and the weaknesses of postmodernity. I don’t have time to go into all these differences; however, let’s take a look at the concept of authenticity.

A Postmodern View of Authenticity

Modernity valued science and system. Postmodernity reveals that science is limited, and systems are always lacking.

Modernity gave us answers as reason reigned on high. Postmodernity gives us perspectives as diversity reigns.

Authenticity has always been marked by a consistency between declared beliefs and actions. It is a personal resiliency in the face of changing environments. This aspect of the word remains the same.

The difference between the authenticity of a Millennial and those of other generations is often due to scope. Millennials understand their limited perspective, and are hesitant go beyond those borders.

Authenticity is limited to the essentials of firm personal beliefs rather than an array of causes and meanings that they are called upon to support from a church, a political party, or other clamoring institutions. Those who call Millennials to adhere to set dogma will lose them. The louder the clamor, the faster they run.

It does not mean that they are against personal beliefs, but they are reluctant from having their beliefs be institutionalized. Comprehensive theological systems are suspect, while individual freedom is applauded. When the individual makes a commitment to an institution, they feel as if they have sold your personal perspective out. (Maybe this is why church membership is declining? Source)

According to Moore, “Postmoderns want to be able to be themselves. They are not interested in playing “the game” their parents once did.” I am not a Millennial, but I remember growing up that our church used to condemn the playing of cards because they were a devise of the devil. It was part of the community’s dogma; however, our family always played with Euchre with cards. When we attended church, we were sworn to secrecy. Millennials are not interested in this lifestyle; therefore, churches should only hold on to doctrine that is essential to their identity.

True authenticity doesn’t try to build a complete theological system, but acknowledges the gaps in their perspective. It is not fearful of the holes in its worldview, and can be at rest with problems unresolved.

Millennials do not run from the truth. I believe they are ruthless searchers for truth. They are not fearful of different perspectives. They value the input of others. They feel the stories of others enrich their lives rather than threaten them.

Authenticity is holding strictly to your individual beliefs rather than following an institution and adopting theological labels (such as premil/post-trib/Calvinist).

A call to authenticity often requires us to lead with the broken, the challenging, and the lacking in our lives. Not in order to find healing or fullness, but to acknowledge the humanity within each of us. It also requires us to support the perspective of others.

What do you think about authenticity?

david in hat - black Dr. G. David Boyd is the Founder and Managing Director of EA Resources. He provides resources for parents, churches, and emerging adults.

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Professor Threatens to Fail the Entire Class

Posted on May 11, 2015 by G. David Boyd 0

What is the state of higher education in our nation?

Recent news coming from our nation’s universities can be described as anything – but pretty.

What happens when those within the system attempt to stand up against a flood of negative student, staff, or institutional behavior?

Recently, a professor at Texas A&M Galveston wrote an e-mail to his strategic management students that they were a disgrace, that they lacked maturity — and that he would fail the entire class. Irwin Horwitz, a professor in the university’s department of maritime administration, decided that he had to act.

“Enough was enough,” Horwitz said. “It became apparent that they couldn’t do just some of the most simple and basic things that they should’ve been able to do at that point.”

Here is the full article.

The professor stepped down from teaching the class, and the class will now be taught by the head of the department. The institution gave a public statement saying that the students will not be failed as a class, but will be judged according to their own individual work.

This story should raise questions about the roles and rights of students and professors. Academic institutions are not controlled by the pursuit of knowledge. They are governed by the flow of money which unfortunately tips power in favor of the consumer (who are the current and potential future students).

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Average Educational Debt and Inflation

Posted on May 6, 2015 by G. David Boyd 0

https://twitter.com/wsj/status/467631829882007553

I found this chart on the Wall Street Journal, and wanted to share it with my readers. While the economy has improved over the last three years, the gap between earnings and educational debt has continued to grow.

It is more crucial than ever for…

Churches to be aware of the challenges facing emerging adults, and to approach them with sympathy.
Parents to educate their children about the bondage of educational debt.
Emerging adults to use wisdom when choosing their education path, and spending money.

As the church, we must seek to minister to people in various stages of life and the challenges they are facing. May God guide and empower you as you seek to care for the emerging adults in your life. If I can help, please let me know.

Dr. G. David Boyd is the Founder and Managing Director of EA Resources, a non-profit designed to encourage parents and churches as they seek to minister to emerging adults.

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Are you becoming More Reckless in your Spending?

Posted on April 20, 2015 by G. David Boyd 0

Are college student are becoming more reckless in their spending habits? A recent article claims that their financial discipline has wanned over the last three years. (Here is the article link.)

Continue reading →

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Churches Seeking Millennials for all the Wrong Reasons

Posted on April 15, 2015 by G. David Boyd 0

What is fueling the fire among churches to reach Millennials? Our motivation is important to consider before making decisions. If your church is seeking to minister to Millennials, take a moment to ponder these misguided motivators.

1. To Bring in Money

If you are looking to build your budget this way, you probably would have better luck winning the lottery. While some emerging adults are actively giving to their communities, many emerging adults are struggling financially, and are not at a stage of life to make large contributions to their community. Even among Christians who tithe, many emerging adults don’t believe that this concept is limited to local church giving, but have the freedom to give anywhere to further the Kingdom of God. Regardless, money should not be a motivating fact when considering to whom God has called us to serve (James 2)

2. To Maintain a “Youthful” Image

Image is everything, and sometimes we target young couples to make ourselves appear fresh and vibrant. Many churches fill their websites with pictures of hip young professionals and young families (Like this one to the left!). Judging people and showing favoritism based upon the individual’s age (also called ageism) is wrong.

3. To Secure the Future of the Church

The future of the church is not at stake. It is God’s church, and He has always reserved a remnant of his people unto Himself (Romans 11:4). If you have the attitude that the “sky is falling” in regards to Millennials and the future of the church, they will not come, but flee.

4. To Keep the Youth Pastor Busy

Aside from the popular perception that youth workers only drink Mountain Dew while playing video games, many youth workers have zero to little margin in their work or private lives. While this isn’t usually a reason why churches start an emerging adult ministry, youth workers are often the first person expected to lead this ministry. Here are some reasons why I disagree.

5. To Silence complaining Parents

Parents of emerging adults are struggling, and we should be providing encouragement (This is why EA Resources exists!); however, don’t allow your vision to be formed from discontent voices. Just because an elder or core family is struggling is not sufficient to sustain a healthy ministry especially if that ministry is only to provide something for their “age group.” It is important for churches to understand human development, and determine their vision for young adults. (Here are some questions to guide your community to form a vision.)

While few churches would profess to these sources of motivation, the potential for these unhealthy motivators exists within EVERY church.

If these motivators remain unbridled, then your ministry has a rough road ahead. Remind your team regularly why Emerging Adults are important to the church, and why you are doing this work.

Here are some proper sources of motivation:

They are the Lost Sheep.

Emerging adults are not attending our community, but God has called us to love them. Let us go out and seek after those who have left the church, and try to understand why they have left. Let us seek a humble heart, and ask God how He can use us to bring them back.

They are Lost among the flock.

Emerging adults are members of our community, and so we need to seek to minister to them. They are sticking around, and you are not sure what to do about it. Rather than just start an extension of youth group or pushing them to serve in youth ministry, the church needs to determine what do we expect of them, and how can we help them fully mature. (Click Here to Read How you can Start!)

The Flock needs them.

We need them as much as they need us. (Read More – The Disfigured body of Christ)

Dr. G. David Boyd is the Founder and Managing Director of EA Resources. He has a passion to equip parents and churches to understand the emerging adults in their lives. If he can help you or your community, contact him at gdavid@earesources.org.

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How Long should an Engagement be?

Posted on April 1, 2015 by G. David Boyd 0

Can an engagement be too short?

Absolutely.

Can an engagement be too long?

Absolutely.

Unfortunately for my wife, I didn’t really put too much thought into the length of our engagement. We had discussed marriage, and although a winter wedding seemed practical to me, Rachel had other plans. After a time of reflection (or let’s call it – enlightenment), I realized that in order to have Rachel’s fall wedding, I had to immediately propose. Luckily, I already had purchased a ring and asked for her parent’s approval.

While an engagement can be too short (or too long), the length is not as important as what you do during that time. As a couple, you must discuss what is right for you. So if you are planning an engagement period, here are some positives and negatives for either a long or short engagement period.

Thoughts Concerning a Short Engagements

Limited Time to Process – Marriage introduces a ton of change into the lives of the couple, and these changes take time to process. While less time might be a blessing for doubters or those who struggle with anxiety, a short engagement can cause others to neglect thinking through the commitment that they are making. (Read more on the Purpose of Engagement)

Limited Time to Plan – Becoming one requires a lot of work by the bride and the groom. If both partners are working full-time, the extra workload of fulfilling the extra responsibilities during engagement will be extremely stressful. Even the simplest of weddings requires many hours of preparation.

Limited Period of Sexual Tension – While I believe it is best for a couple to remain abstinent before the wedding, the engagement period is a time when emotional, spiritual, and sexual boundaries in the relationship need to change. As a couple become more physically involved, their bodies will naturally lead them towards sexual fulfillment. A short engagement helps the couple maintain their boundaries. (Read more about the relational changes during engagement, Engagement is Awkward.)

While there is a lot of work to accomplish during this period, one emerging adult said, “If you keep a short engagement Christ-centered and smart, it can be wonderful.”

Thoughts Concerning a Long Engagement

Time to Process and Plan – A long engagement allows the couple to fully explore their relationship and the commitment they are making. The couple is not focused entirely on the day-to-day or the looming ceremony, but they are also able to think through their decisions and discuss the changes they are experiencing.

Time to discuss tough issues – Engagement periods can be a time when the couple is faced for the first time with conflict when their values clash as they are forced to make decisions together. Sometimes couple who rush through their engagement will bury problems until later because they know there is not time to fix the problem.

More Living Expenses – Unless one or both of the couple are living at home, living separately can often be a financial burden to the couple. Emerging adulthood can be an expensive phase of life with little income, and so it is wise to save whenever possible. I wouldn’t necessarily move up your wedding, but you might want to live with family or friends until the big day comes rather than pay rent at two places.

Difficult to maintain physical boundaries – One EA states, “Some of the long engagements I have seen have been so hard on the couple – specifically the struggle with sexual sin as the months pass.” Even for couples who maintained clear boundaries while dating find it difficult to remain sexually pure once a promise is made. A long engagement will require them to regularly discuss their physical boundaries, and the sexual tension between them.

There is no right or wrong answers, but each couple must decide based upon:

How long have you known each other?
In what capacities have you known each other? (Are you together regularly, or are you long-distance relationship?)
What do your friends and mentors believe about your decisions?
How well do you as a couple deal with stress and waiting?
What do you sense God is leading you to do as you pray?

Whether long or short, your engagement can be all that you dreamed as you both seek God and follow His leading.

Dr. G. David Boyd is the Founder and Managing Director of EA Resources, a non-profit designed to provide resources to Emerging Adults, and those who love them.

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Beyond Mentoring – Marks of a Symbiotic Relationship

Posted on March 25, 2015 by G. David Boyd 0

Last month, I shared how the church needs to think beyond mentoring to engage emerging adults. Mentoring often gives the impression of an omnidirectional relationship where one person gives and one receives. Our economic mindset has also set the image of a mentor as one who stands in authority over another, and who serves as a gatekeeper for wealth, knowledge, or fame.

The church needs to go beyond mentoring. Rather than succumbing to our western society which values independence, the church needs to rediscover its roots in our interdependence. God created the church to do more than gather together, but to need each other. One picture used regularly to illustrate the interdependence of the church is the body of Christ (see 1 Cor 12; Rom 12).

Christians should be seeking symbiotic relationships, where each partner benefits from the relationship without assumptions of power, rank, or importance. A symbiotic relationship is a connection that is for the mutual benefit of each individual. Here are some marks of symbiotic relationships:

Relational versus Programmatic

We were designed by God to be in relationships with others. Church leadership needs to manage less programs, and become more relationally perceptive. Shepherds need to see who within our community would naturally connect in symbiotic relationships.

In nature, symbiotic relationships develop because both animals see the need, and are drawn by the natural benefits of the relationship. Those seeking relationships must ask, “Who has God placed near me?” and “Who am I naturally drawn towards?”

Authentic versus Staged

In typical mentorships, the mentor must come with the gathering staged or set. Whether it is a set list of questions, a specific topic, or even to allow the meeting unplanned, the mentor feels responsible for setting the stage. When this responsibility is laid solely upon one member, it can lead to a lack of authenticity.

Symbiotic relationships still require intentionality, but the responsibility is shared. Intentionality turns hanging out with a friend into building spiritual intimacy. Someone must lead the discussion towards our faith, and then allow the Holy Spirit to steer the time towards sacred space.

Learning versus Teaching

In symbiotic relationships, participants approach the relationship saying, “What can I learn?” Teaching is the natural outflow of two different parts of the Body of Christ working together, occurring without a lesson plan as the Spirit speaks through His word, the conversation, and sharing life.

Purpose-giving versus Purpose-driven

Rarely do people want to be someone else’s purpose-driven spiritual project. Unfortunately, sometimes mentors believe that they know exactly what their partner needs. (For instance, “I need to show them…”, or “They need to learn…”). One individual controls the relationship rather than letting God work freely. God always set the agenda of symbiotic relationship.

Symbiotic relationships provide personal significance. Our motivation for the relationship is not because I am supposed to do it, but because I see how my life matters to another person. As we walk away from a symbiotic relationship, both people are thinking, “Wow, I needed that.”

Many people who use the term “mentor” have already moved beyond the stereotypical and possibly unhealthy uses of the role. Regardless of the term you use, as a member of the Body of Christ, seek interdependent relationships.

Dr. G. David Boyd is the Founder and Managing Director of Emerging Adult Resources. He resides in Apple Valley, MN with his wife Rachel and three boys. If you would like to contact him, you can reach him at gdavid@earesources.org.

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We know it is a problem.

Posted on March 16, 2015 by G. David Boyd 0

We know it is a problem.

There are young adults are leaving the church (for various reasons), and while some are returning as they age – many others are walking away never to return. Continue reading →

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Great Website Resources for Parents of Emerging Adults

Posted on March 11, 2015 by G. David Boyd 0

Parenting an emerging adult is not always easy. EA Resources is designed to provide resources to equip parents to prepare them for the journey ahead.

Here are some great sources to bookmark, or to subscribe to their e-mail subscriptions. They provide great insight into the challenges faced by emerging adults and their parents.

About Parenting

Relevant Magazine

College Affordability

Saving 4 College

Boundless

Sticky Faith

Center for Parent and Youth Understanding

If you know of a resource, please send me a link at gdavid@earesources.org.

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How to Fix your credit after Falling on Hard Times

Posted on March 9, 2015 by G. David Boyd 0

Scrabble Series Debt from Flickr via Wylio

A range of circumstances can damage your credit. Loss of your job, getting behind on various loan payments, and carrying a high balance on your credit card can contribute to bad credit. As you begin the credit repair journey, it’s important to stay positive and to focus on doing it the right way. By having faith and taking control of the matter in a mature and morally responsible way, you can get your credit score back up again.

Ways to Repair Credit After Bankruptcy

Dire circumstances can sometimes force us to file for bankruptcy. After doing so, you must first understand where you stand. Firstly, you should know your credit score, which can be obtained for free once a year from Annual Credit Report. Know that filing for bankruptcy deeply hurts your credit (from 130 to 240 points), so prepare to see a low number. Check for any errors on the report, and notify the credit bureaus if you find any. Credit reporting errors can seriously damage your score.

Not all types of debt can be eliminated in bankruptcy, such as tax debts and student loans. Make a chart of these debts and then highlight those that have high balances or high interest rates.

Once you have a clear picture of what you owe, you need to figure out ways to get your balances lower, as making payments on time and lowering balances is the best way to improve credit. Another option is to open new lines of credit and paying off your balance each month.

Change your financial habits as well. Repent for past mistakes by setting a financial plan for the future and having the willpower to stick to it. Have payment reminders sent to you so you know when money is due. Resist the temptation to spend on things you don’t need. Self-control can help a lot here, as you can put more money in your pocket each month with simple lifestyle changes, such as eating out less, renting movies instead of going to the theater, and carpooling to work. If you can, find extra work by using your networks in the neighborhood, at church, and within your family.

Ways to Repair Credit After Foreclosure

Anything from unemployment and underemployment to overspending can cause foreclosure. Losing your home is emotionally difficult, and sometimes it’s hard to focus on getting back on track.

The first thing you should do is make sure you and your family have a safe and affordable place to live. The monthly payment shouldn’t exceed 28 percent of your monthly income. Understand that you won’t be able to get a mortgage for three to seven years. Stay patient and positive, and work to rebuild your credit during this time.

Address your current financial situation and review all your debts. Plan to pay those with the highest interest rates and balances first. View your credit score, but don’t get too distraught even though it’s probably down anywhere from 85 to 160 points. Faith and the motivation to make positive changes are what you need, not negativity.

Work on ways to cut down on expenses and continue to pay down debt. Put those credit cards away unless you absolutely have to use them. Discipline is what you need right now.

Fixing your credit after falling on hard times takes patience, self-control, and willpower. It’s a long road, but the right blend of faith, lifestyle changes, and careful planning can put you on the bright road to credit recovery.

Jesse Woodhouse is a Team Lead at TopTenReviews. He is a proud husband and father and loves sports, music and the outdoors.

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