Category Archives: For Churches

Responding to the Unemployed Millennials in Your Church

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Here is a piece that was written by a Millennial that I recently met at a conference.

After high school, I went to a Technical College for a two-year Associates Degree in Law Enforcement. After Graduating in 2009, I started searching for a job.  I applied for any job opening in Corrections to being a Police Officer.

After three years and over sixty applications I still did not have a job due to my lack of experience.  During this time, I was living with my parents, and working part-time at Rainbow Foods to help pay my student loans.

© 2008 Erich Ferdinand, Flickr | CC-BY | via Wylio

As a young man, I faced constant discouragement and shame for not having a full-time job and living at home.   People at church would always approach me with the same three questions, “What are you doing?”, “Where do you live?”, and “Where are you working?”   People would keep saying things like, “just keep applying,” but these words were not encouraging.

After three years of applications, I felt the Lord was calling me back to school to get another degree.   I continued my education on-line, and now have a B.A.  Unfortunately, I still don’t have a job, and working part-time with student loans barely covers my loans.

Being 26 years old and living with you parents has some real challenges, but fortunately my parents are very supportive of me.  Sometimes people will suggest that I once again go back to school, and get yet another degree because that job field is hard to get into, dying, shrinking, or because they think you should do something different.

However, more schooling and a higher debt load doesn’t seem hopeful.

I asked the writer some questions about how the church could help emerging adults in his position, and here are his responses.

What can the church do to help people who are young and jobless?

The church could help people who are young and jobless through having specific people checking in on them from month to month.  They should be people who know how to ask the right questions, and equipped to help me in my journey.  I think that they could also create connections so the congregation is aware of those looking for employment.  Members of the church can be part of the network that leads emerging adults to their next job.

What could people say to those who are young and jobless?

People should be more careful how and what they say to those who are unemployed.  I found the words, “I’m praying for you” encouraging, or “I am keeping an eye out for jobs for you.”  The hardest questions are asking “where are you living” because I then have to tell them I still live with my parents – which comes with additional shame.

What do you want people to know or understand about yourself and others like you in the church? 

I want people to understand that getting a degree and finding a job isn’t always easy. I myself never thought I would still be living at home at 26 without a fulltime job, and I think, people need to be more understanding at the difficulties facing emerging adults.   Parents should understand that after graduation, their children might have to live at home while searching for a job – and it should be ok.

What keeps you going?

My motivation comes from God and my parents. I know God is there for me, and is providing for me through this journey.  He always seems to provide encouragement when I need it the most. My parents are very supportive of me.  They have sought to understand my situation, and defended me when people ask why they allow me to still live with them.

EA Resources is seeking contributions from Millennials who want the Church to hear their voice.  If want to contribute, please contact us at gdavid@earesources.org.  These pieces are tagged “Millennial Voices.”

 

Frank Powell on Addressing “The Millennial Exodus”

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I came across this article this past week during my reading, and I wanted to share it with my readers.  Millennials are leaving the faith, and if you care about the lost, then we must examine why.

Millennials leaving the church

The piece reflects many of the same points made in other pieces about why Millennials are leaving the church.  Here is my voice in the discussion of the Millennial Exodus.   The author mentions the Millennials’ boredom with worship turf wars, and the corporate structure of the church, and then throws in plenty of accusations towards others who are making Jesus “cool” or “hip” (I have never really seen anyone do this, but I assume it is being done since so many reference it.)

Here are a few noteworthy quotes.

  • I want desperately to love the people “out there” more than I love the people “in here.” I think others do as well. (Removing our Christian Bubbles.)
  • Corporate worship is powerful. But I wonder if the church hasn’t made an idol out of worship. We spend an enormous amount of time debating it and arguing over it.
  • Jesus isn’t American. And America isn’t God’s country. Or maybe it is. But not any more than Mexico, Germany, or Japan. America doesn’t have a stranglehold on God. God is bigger than that. If he’s not, I don’t want to serve him.
  • Here’s the deal. I want to actually love the sinner. Many times I am not sure how. But I want to try.

Here is the Article!

Dr. G. David Boyd is the Founder and Managing Director of EA Resources, a non-profit designed to equip churches to minister to Emerging Adults.

 

Is there more grace for child-like men than for child-like women?

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I recently came across an article that discussed how movies which display men who are delayed in accepting adult roles and behavior (Failure to Launch, Happy Gilmore, Knocked Up) are more accepted by audiences because their is more grace for men who delayed in their development than for women.  annie

Here are some interesting quotes from the article:

  • In each of those cases, the protagonist has been led astray from a traditional path to adulthood, but their resulting antics — drinking a lot, general laziness and immaturity — are played for laughs and rarely, if ever, become dilemmas worthy of audience sympathy.
  • “If you’re a female, then you should have your shit together and you should be figuring it out,” Anna Kendrick said, discussing the role. “With men it’s just like, ‘Oh, you know, he’s just still a frat boy at heart, and it’s no big deal.’”
  • Something is set up as ostensibly wrong with the woman-child, while the male version is explained away with the idea that “boys will be boys.
  • “I think the kind of outlet for the contemporary woman-child is that there doesn’t seem to be any exit or even desire to exit this kind of liminal state, that is both economic and in terms of identity and maturity,” said Clark. “Marriage doesn’t seem to be the out anymore.”

Here is the link to the article.

I believe that the author has a point.  I am not sure how this extra grace towards men (who won’t grow up) works out in our families, and our communities of faith.  Regardless, delayed development is not a laughing matter.

Here are some articles about delayed development.

David Boyd 1 (1)Dr. G. David Boyd is the Founder and Managing Director of EA Resources, a non-profit designed to equip parents and churches to minister to Emerging Adults.

 

 

Paying for Millennials to Speak about the Church

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Many studies have been completed on why Millennials are leaving the church.

Many writers have pontificated on why Millennials are leaving the church.  (Here is something that I wrote on this topic.)

church (2)Both are important for discussing this issue, and moving us towards solutions.  However, it is not enough.

In order for us to understand Millennials and their love/hate relationship with the church, we must hear their voices.

EA Resources is looking for articles and videos that answer the question:

Why I left the church? or Why I have stuck with the church?

For articles and videos that we choose to purchase, the individual will be paid $100.  Here are a few notes:

  • The article/video will become property of EA Resources.
  • The article/video may not have been previously published (unless it was on your personal blog/website).
  • The article/video must be from someone between the ages of 18-28 due to our desire to hear from Emerging Adults.
  • We will pay $100 for articles/videos accepted for publication.
  • Please keep your submissions brief and powerful.  Written submissions should be approximately 300 words.  Videos should be under 5 minutes in length.
  • Articles/videos can be submitted to Dr. G. David Boyd at gdavid@earesources.org.

If you know of a Millennial who can share their story well about either why they have left, or why they have stuck with the church, please share this article.

I look forward to hearing your voice!

David Boyd 1 (1)Dr. G. David Boyd is the Managing Director of EA Resources, a non-profit designed to help parents and churches minister to emerging adults.

Millennials, Sexuality, and Reproductive Health Survey

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New Research was released earlier this year discussing the views of Millennials towards sex and reproductive heath.  It studied 2,314 Millennials between the ages of 18-34.

Here is a link if you want to read it – Click Here!

Here is a link if you want to watch a video – Click Here!  Warning – It is 2 hours long!

The 2015 Millennials, Sexuality, and Reproductive Health Survey was released on Friday, March 27 at The Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation in Washington, D.C.   by the Public Religion Research Institute.

It is a fascinating read for pastors, leaders, and parents of Emerging Adults.  Here are a few fascinating notes:

  • When evaluating the morality of sexual behaviors, millennials generally do not make black-and white judgments, but rather factor circumstances into their reasoning.
  • On the issue of abortion, millennials strongly factor specific circumstances into their moral evaluations.
  • Millennials view women having a full-time job as a less serious problem for families than men who concentrate too much on work.
  •  One-third (33%) of millennials are religiously unaffiliated, making it the single most common religious identity among this generation.

There is so much in this study, and I hope to dive more into this research in the weeks to come, and what it means for the church.  If you want to support my research, please contact me, or donate here.

David Boyd 1 (1)

Dr. G. David Boyd is the Founder and Managing Director of EA Resources, a non-profit designed to equip parents and churches to minister to Emerging Adults.

 

When Dying is your next Career

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PHYLLISI came across a great article this week that I wanted to share with you.  It is entitled, Author Phyllis Tickle Faces Death As She Enjoyed Life: ‘The Dying Is My Next Career’.  The article was written by David Gibson, and was presented by the Huffington Post.

According to the article, “Phyllis Tickle is a Southern-born and -bred mother of seven and a doyenne of religion writers. She is now 81, and a widow living on a small farm in Lucy, Tenn., just outside of Memphis. On the land where her cows once roamed, stray dogs she has adopted and some family surround her. She is being treated for Stage IV cancer.”

Earlier this week, I wrote how Christians need to present a better view of aging and dying.  This article is part of a new perspective.

Phyllis Tickle is a great example of a Christ-follower.  Here are a few of my favorite lines from the interview:

  • OK, now I know what it’s probably going to be, and probably how much time there is. So you can clean up some of the mess you’ve made and tie up some of the loose ends.”
  • “I am no more afraid of dying than I am of, I don’t know, drinking this coffee,”
  • “Christianity is reconfiguring,” she says. “It’s almost going through another adolescence. And it’s going to come out a better, more mature adult. There’s no question about that.”

My favorite is the Title… The dying is my next career.  Her career has been filled with teaching and writing others how to follow God.

Click here for the Article!

 

What will we teach Millennials about Aging?

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Summer Deck from Flickr via Wylio

© 2011 Todd Petit, Flickr | CC-BY | via Wylio

This past week, I sat on my porch catching up with a long-time friend and emerging adult.  While enjoying the Minnesota summer sun, we talked about life – the simple and complex.  At one shift during the conversation, we discussed aging.  Having just turned 28, he felt as if time had turned against him.

Humans hate aging.  We spend billions of dollars in order to look and feel younger.  I will not attempt to reverse this hatred towards aging and death; however, I believe that if anyone in our world can put a positive spin on aging and death – it is Christians.  While we live in a society of growing “Nones” (Those claiming to be non-religious.), Christians claim a set of beliefs that offer another perspective.

Millard tombstone from Flickr via Wylio

© 2005 Andy / Andrew Fogg, Flickr | CC-BY | via Wylio

  • We believe in an afterlife.
  • We believe in an afterlife that is good.
  • We believe in an afterlife that will reverse the pain, suffering, and blemishes of this world.
  • We believe that this good afterlife is timeless.

Or at least, we say that we do.  Most Christians avoid the topic of death and dying as if they hold no answers.  I know that doubt filters in, and can cause us to stumble.  However, we should regularly reflect on Jesus’ words,

“Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me. My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you?  And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.”

Jesus knew his disciples would be troubled by an unknown future, and calls them to trust Him.

Our faith demands that we hold to a different view of the human experience to Millennials.  One in which each phase of life is to be embraced (including dying) and enjoyed.

From our platforms and porches, we need to restore a vision for human death and aging.  We need to cling to faith, and live out our lives in view of our beliefs about death.

A theologically sound view of aging will remove our distaste for it.

A theologically sound view of death will remove its sting.

Teaching and living this view is one Christian belief that will appeal to a world of growing “Nones” and Millennials.

Dr. G. David Boyd is the Founder and Managing Director of EA Resources.david in hat - black

5 Easy (Fairly Easy) Changes for Churches trying to welcome Emerging Adults!

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Photo courtesy of Aaron Robert Photography. Copyright 2014. www.aaronrobertphotography.com

If you are a community that it looking to make some changes to attract emerging adults, here are a few ways that you can start without shifting your beliefs, or discussing it at a board meeting.

1.  Design a website that welcomes them.

Your website will be the first encounter that most Emerging Adults will have with your church.  As you look at your website, what does your church say, or what does it not say about emerging adults?  Your website’s appeal is not based on being “hip” or “trendy”, but you need to understand what questions they will be asking.  If you don’t know where to begin, drop me a note, and I will be glad to give you some thoughts.  If Millennials are not visiting your church, then maybe your website provides plenty of reasons to stay away.

2.  Open Avenues to SERVICE.

When an emerging adult enters your community, can they sense that emerging adults have opportunities to serve and lead?  Or does your church have invisible signs saying, “Young Need Not Apply.”  Seek to equip people of all ages regularly serving as greeters, ushers, communion servers, and speakers.

3.  Refuse to speak negatively about adolescents or emerging adults.

Photo courtesy of Aaron Robert Photography. Copyright 2013. www.aaronrobertphotography.com

There is a desperate need within our world to change the metanarrative of human development.  Within the church, many negative statements are made about adolescents and emerging adults.  Are jokes made about adolescents?  Are generations unfairly characterized such as being called techy (addicted to their phones), immature, or rebellious?  Age-based humor should not be used.

 4.  Respond immediately and personally to requests for information.

Emerging adults are always in the midst of transition.  They do not want to wait two months to serve or attend the next visitor’s meal or class.  If they visited, invite them to coffee to discuss how they can further connect with your community.  Assign this position to someone who is relationally-driven, and understands the needs of emerging adults.

5.  Develop a unified voice on your current philosophy for emerging adults.

As a team, you must discus what happens once an emerging adult visits?  If you don’t have a philosophy, here are some questions to get going (Click Here!).

Maybe you have covered these first steps, and haven’t seen any change. If you want me to help you or your team discover a philosophy of ministry that works for your community, contact me at gdavid@earesources.

 

Learning about America’s Growing Non-religious Population- And Who is to Blame

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Growing up within the church, I heard many words to describe those who were not associated with the church including:  non-believers, heathen, the lost, the world, and sinners.  Regardless of what you call those outside the church, the number of people claiming no religion is growing.

The Pew Research Center released a new study this month about the changing religious beliefs among Americans.  Here are a few facts about those who declare themselves non-religious.

1.  They are Young.

Men at work from Flickr via Wylio

© 2013 reynermedia, Flickr | CC-BY | via Wylio

While many U.S. religious groups are aging, the unaffiliated are comparatively young – and getting younger, on average, over time. As a rising cohort of highly unaffiliated Millennials reaches adulthood, the median age of unaffiliated adults has dropped to 36, down from 38 in 2007 and far lower than the general (adult) population’s median age of 46.  (Source)

 2.  Many grew up in religious homes.

Nearly one-in-five U.S. adults (18%) were raised in a religious faith and now identify with no religion.  While some young adults who are raised in a non-religious household have chosen to become religious, they are outnumbered by those fleeing their religious up-bringing (The ratio is 4:1.)  There is no magical way to ensure that your adult child will follow your faith as a parent, but here is a great book to read about this topic.

 3.  Their numbers are growing equally among whites, blacks, and Hispanics.

The non-religious are found among whites (24%), blacks (18%), and Hispanics (20%).

4.  They are growing among college graduates, and those without a college degree.

College is often seen as the enemy of faith, and the cause of emerging adults leaving the faith.  However, those claiming to be non-religious is growing among both groups.  “Nones” now claim 24% of college graduates and 22% of those with less than a college degree.  As I have stated in other places, college is not the main destructive cause of Millennials’ faith.

 5.  Labels don’t really stick.

hoto courtesy of Aaron Robert Photography. Copyright 2013. www.aaronrobertphotography.com

It is hard to find a label that describes this group.  The article states, “In 2007, 25% of the ‘nones’ called themselves atheists or agnostics; 39% identified their religion as ‘nothing in particular’ and also said that religion is ‘not too’ or ‘not at all’ important in their lives; and 36% identified their religion as ‘nothing in particular.’’  Atheists believe that there is no God, while agnostics is often defined as those who believe that nothing is known or can be known about the existence of God.  Many ‘nones’ don’t identify as either maybe because they don’t know the terminology or because they refuse to be classified.

For those who have a passion for the church, the changing religious beliefs here in America causes a reaction within each of us.  Here are a few “knee-jerk” responses:

Millennials Suck.  Millennials are constantly blasted in the media and in our churches.  Some people may believe that Millennials are simply evil, and inherently irreligious.  However, I believe in Millennials, and I believe that generational bashing is destructive to the church.

The Youth Pastors of Millennials Suck.  I recently read an article which attributed the decline to some degree upon the lack of education among youth workers.  While, I acknowledge the men and women whom I pastored have left the church and I will take ownership.  It was not due to my lack of education.  Please resist the urge to once again throw the youth workers under the bus, haven’t they been through enough?

The Parents of Millennials Suck.  While parenting styles definitely affects the religious views of children, it is not the only factor.  The weight of guilt and grief that parents bear when their children walk away from the church can be overwhelming.

The Churches in America Suck.  If you are a conservative church, then you might be pointing the finger at liberal churches.  Difficulties give us the opportunity to either unite or fight each other; unfortunately, the church has often chosen to fight.

Christians can play the blame game.  We can point fingers and decide in our own mind who is to blame, only to go about our own lives as nothing has changed.  Or we can acknowledge the changes that are happening within our country, and become like the men of Issachar who “understood the times, and knew what they should do.”  (I Chron 12:32)

David Boyd 1 (1)EA Resources is committed to helping parents, institutions, and churches understand the times and discern how they can better minister to emerging adults. If I can serve your community, e-mail me at gdavid@earesources.org.

I’m Gay – How to respond to your child.

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Some parents believe that the worst thing that their child could ever say to them are the words, “I’m Gay.” This article does a great job discussing the issue of SSA (Same-Sex Attraction), and helping parents gain a better perspective.

The actual title of this article is “Help, My kid is struggling.”  I changed it for this page only because I wanted to make the content of the piece more available for those looking for advice.

Here is the LINK!

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Matt and Laurie run a ministry called “Hole in My Heart” Ministries.  You can learn more about their story on their  website.