Category Archives: For Churches

An Example of Generational Mediation – Tattoos

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© 2009 Lisa Padilla, Flickr | CC-BY | via Wylio

We met at my favorite spot – McDonalds, the home of free wifi and endless sweet tea.  The man immediately began to open up about his son, and how proud he was of his academic achievement and occupational accomplishments.  At twenty years old, his son was not a slacker or self-absorbed like most other Millennials (if you believe the media).  He was already financially self-sufficient, and held down a career job.  But in spite of his fatherly pride, something had robbed this father of the ability to enjoy his son.

His son was the last of four children, and had been born to the father much later in life.  The father expressed how often he struggled to understand his son in ways that he did not have with his other children who were almost ten years older.

tattooHe had asked his son to refrain from tattoos until he was twenty-one.  The father’s reasoning included the under-developed brain of emerging adults, his spiritual viewpoint of tattoos, and their long-term impact upon the individual’s body.   Although he couldn’t imagine how anyone would want a tattoo, he would allow his child this option at the proper age.

The son ignored his father’s wishes, and the father’s disappointment was obvious.  He was trying not to take his son’s decision personally, but it still hurt.  The reasons not to get a tattoo were so clear to him.  Why would anyone get a tattoo when “style” change so frequently?  He used the word “style” in reference to tattoos several times during our discussion.

I asked what he meant by “style” and he said.  “In our world clothing styles change every season, and hair styles change once every couple of months.  Why would you get a permanent tattoo?”

While growing up, I often heard people associate tattoos as a trend.  With a larger portion of the population getting inked in today’s world, few would categorized tattoos as a style or fad that changes change with time.  In my discussions with emerging adults, the decision to get a tattoo often reflected a life event, core belief, or part of their identity (more – Sacred Ink).

They are the opposite of a fad, but tattoos often reflect a person’s longing for permanence and search for uniqueness.  The process of globalization has made it even more difficult for people to establish their own place in our world.  Tattoos are a simple way for humans to create a marker of their identity.

As I began to speak, there was a beautiful moment as for the first time, the father understood his son’s perspective.  We sat in a quiet moment.  When our time ended, he turned to me and said, “I have learned a lot.  We should talk again.”

David - Prof 2Another day in the life of a generational mediator.

Dr. G. David Boyd is the Managing Director of EA Resources, a non-profit that seeks to equip churches and parents to minister to emerging adults.

 

Creating a Vision for Emerging Adult Ministry

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A vision of a renewed Jerusalem was given by Nehemiah to rebuild the walls.  In Nehemiah 2:17-18, Nehemiah says,

group of girls

Photo courtesy of Aaron Robert Photography. Copyright 2014. www.aaronrobertphotography.com

“You see the trouble we are in: Jerusalem lies in ruins, and its gates have been burned with fire. Come, let us rebuild the wall of Jerusalem, and we will no longer be in disgrace.” I also told them about the gracious hand of my God on me and what the king had said to me.”

Nehemiah starts with their present condition, and moves to where they should go by providing them a vision and a reminder that God is with them.

A vision does not provide a picture of the way things are, but an image of what could and should be.  It focuses a community on where they are going and what must be done to get there.  It unifies them as they work towards the common good.

If you are seeking a vision for how to minister to emerging adults, here are a few reflections:

Visions are God-given.

group of girls2

Photo courtesy of Aaron Robert Photography. Copyright 2014. www.aaronrobertphotography.com

True visions cannot be copied.  You do not pick them up at a conference, or by mimicking another ministry model.  Visions come while seeking the presence of God.  Due to the overwhelming church-as-business culture, the terms vision and mission statement are often misconstrued to be synonymous when they are quite different.  We have been taught all visions must be easy to read, look nice in print, and be filled with hip lingo.  However, true visions do not require confirmation by human intellect, approval by church hierarchy, and cannot be minimized by available resources.  If you want a God-given vision cancel your conference, turn off the noise, and sit in the presence of God’s Spirit.

Visions are Spirit-led.

Leaders are always searching for evidence of the Spirit’s work.  They are constantly seeking for stirrings of spiritual growth, and wondering either how they can help, or how to get out of the way.  In Henry Blackabee’s study Experiencing God, he says, “Go to where God is at work, and join Him there.”

Due to the dynamic nature of our world, visions can change.  They are not eternal, but have a shelf-life which is often dependent upon leadership.  This doesn’t mean that the vision was wrong, but that it needs to shift due to our constantly changing world.

Visions are human-powered.

While visions are given by God, we are His hands and feet in this world to accomplish the work.  I Corinthians 3:9 says, “For we are co-workers in God’s service; you are God’s field, God’s building.”  We have the privilege of working side-by-side with others in God’s service.  Because developing and realizing your vision is so much work, it is important to enlist the help of a team.

Nehemiah couldn’t build the wall alone, and neither can you.  Look to God for a vision, seeking guidance by the Spirit, and recruit a team to work beside you.

David - Prof 2Where there is no vision, the people perish: but he that keepeth the law, happy is he.  (Proverbs 29:18)

Dr. G. David Boyd is the Managing Director of EA Resources, a non-profit designed to equip churches and parents to minister to emerging adults.

This May All Go to Sh*t: An Open Letter to Millennial Church Leaders – Huffington Post

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Do you know what the hell you’re doing? Because we’re coming clean and admitting that often times we don’t.

For starters, let’s agree we’re past the whole “millennials vs the church” conversation. “Millennials hate the church.” “Millennials don’t believe in institutions or organized religion.” “Millennials don’t tithe because they’re selfish!” We know the stereotypes and stats. We’re just not interested in engaging that kind of click-bait navel gazing. Continue reading →

National Congregational Study – 2015

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The National Congregation Study led by Mark Chaves, sociologist at Duke, and Alison Eagle.  The study included over 3800 participating congregations representing 70+ Christian denominations, plus Jewish, Muslim, Buddhist, and other religious groups.  The third wave of this report was recently released, and is available at this link.

Here are five observations from the study.

pew and hymnal1.  The Growth of non-denominational churches.

 The number of congregations claiming no denominational affiliation increased from 18% in 1998 to 24% in 2012.  White mainline congregations, and the people in those congregations, are older than the congregations and people of other religious traditions.  I believe that this trend is going to continue as Millennials (and other generations) do not want to be defined by a denominational label or the culture baggage that some denominations carry.

 2.  The Continued Growth of Megachurches.

Most congregations are small, but most people are in large congregations.  People are increasingly concentrated in very large congregations. The average congregation is getting smaller, but the average churchgoer attends a larger congregation.  I believe that many people run to large congregations because they have been hurt by the church, but still love God (a group often referred to as the “Dones”).  These large congregations allow them to remain hidden while spending time worshipping the God they love.

 3.  An Increase in Diversity

There is increasing ethnic diversity over time both among and within American congregations.  Diversity (in ethnicity, socio-economic factors, and religious beliefs) is valued by many younger generations, and so I expect this diversity to increase.  Truly diverse congregations will become magnets for Millennials.    

 4.  A Desire to connect with their Local Community

Food assistance is by far the most common kind of social service activity pursued by congregations, with more than half (52%) of all congregations listing food assistance among their four most important social service programs.  Social action is important to Millennials, and churches should have a clear passion for service within their local communities.  However, serving the poor will take much more than clearing our pantries from an abundance of canned goods.   I fear that many churches pursue this route in order to alleviate guilt over Western consumerism.

 5.  Traditional Boundaries into Leadership are Falling.

 Acceptance of female lay leadership is very widespread, with 79% of congregations allowing women to hold any volunteer position a man can hold, and 86% allowing women to serve on the main governing board.  Congregational acceptance of gays and lesbians as members and lay leaders increased substantially between 2006 and 2012, but acceptance levels vary widely across religious traditions.  Those congregations who restrict leadership for various theological reasons might grow as they gather dissident members of accepting communities.  However, as Millennials and younger generations become the majority of the populous, these restrictive communities may have trouble replacing their aging populations.

(A boundary that I believe needs to change is the restriction of leadership within the church due to age – READ MORE.)

The Spiritual Landscape of America is changing rapidly.  How should your community respond?

David - Prof 2Dr. G. David Boyd is the Founder and Managing Director of EA Resources, a non-profit organization that is driven to educate and equip parents and churches who desire to minister to emerging adults.

3 REASONS COLLEGIATE DAY OF PRAYER MATTERS

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For over 200 years the last Thursday of February has been set aside as a day to pray for the college campus. The campus that is a few blocks from your home. The campus that is located hundreds of miles from your city in a region of our country that has very little evangelical presence. The campus where you earned a degree. Collegiate Day of Prayer has a significant history in the spiritual awakenings that have been birthed in our nation on the college campuses.

Read more here!

Praying for those who leave for college campuses is very important, that is why, I believe every church should have at least one prayer campaign a year focused on college campuses.  If you want to launch a prayer campaign at your church, here is an idea.

Mark WhittMark Whitt writes about why the Collegiate Day of Prayer matters to your college ministry.   He is the Collegiate and Young Adult Specialist at LifeWay Christian Resources. Before joining LifeWay, he spent many years on the campus of Murray State University as a campus minister.

Developing a Vision for Emerging Adults in Your Community  

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A vision of a renewed Jerusalem was given by Nehemiah to rebuild the walls.  In Nehemiah 2:17-18, Nehemiah says,

“You see the trouble we are in: Jerusalem lies in ruins, and its gates have been burned with fire. Come, let us rebuild the wall of Jerusalem, and we will no longer be in disgrace.” I also told them about the gracious hand of my God on me and what the king had said to me.” Continue reading →

Orange is the New Black – Turning Family Ministry into More than a Fad.

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Orange is in.  Everyone must have it in their wardrobe, refer to it regularly, and show it off whenever possible.  Nowhere is this more true, than in the church.

The concept of Think Orange, a book written by Reggie Joiner, states the influence of the church and family working together makes a greater impact than those same two influences can have individually.  This ministry philosophy seeks to unite family and church to have a stronger spiritual impact on children and adolescents.

Orange is the topic of many sermons, and many are attending the conferences.  Many churches are changing the titles of their pastors (to include the word family), but…

does it go any deeper?

I fear that many churches have added an orange outfit to their closet, just in case they need it.  They have bought the book, know the bullet points, and spout off the right answers when the topic is discussed.  However, Reggie writes, “Family ministry should not be another program you add to your list of programs.  It should be the filter you use to create and evaluate what you do to influence children and teenagers.”  (Think Orange, 83)

We have to move orange beyond fad, and into practice.

In order to accomplish this…

As a youthworker, I know you are overwhelmed.  It is hard to evaluate when you have several families in crisis and another program to prepare for in just a few hours.  However, a time of reflection and evaluation is always worth the effort.

If you are interested in an overhaul, and don’t know where to begin, contact David at gdavid@earesources.org.

Made for Maturity – Maslow’s Basic Human Needs and Human Development

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https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maslow%27s_hierarchy_of_needs

When discussing basic human needs, most people are familiar with the work of Maslow and his pyramid of basic humans needs.  Maslow’s five basic human needs were:  physical, safety, social, esteem, and self-actualization.  His pyramid was built upon the premise that when one need is fulfilled a person seeks to fulfill the next one.  Maslow believed that people are motivated to achieve certain basic needs. For example, after sitting on a couch for several hours, our physiological need to eat, drink, or go to the bathroom will pull us away from any video game not matter how exciting (or mind-numbing).

Maslow Hierarchy - Up-dated

Maslow’s Hierarchy up-dated for today’s wired world.

My three developmental tasks of adulthood – discovering vocation, developing community, and establishing autonomy– are internally motivated because humans were created with desires to love, to be free, and to be needed.  These basic human needs are based upon God’s creative design.  Since each developmental tasks is rooted in a basic human need, individuals do not need to be convinced of their importance, but will naturally work towards their fulfillment.

Vocation – Humans desire to be needed.

Humans desire to have a role in their world that makes an impact upon our self and the lives of others.  Vocation provides us the ability to be useful and make a difference in this world.  While paid vocation often fulfills other human desires (like income for physiological needs and security), it also fulfills our God-given desire to work, create, and design.  God is a worker, and is glorified as we follow His ways.  Work was not a result of the fall, but the ability to work is a gift (Genesis 3:17-18).

 Autonomy – Humans desire to be free.

Regardless of your theological beliefs concerning determinism or free-will, thoughts of being controlled or unable to affect the outcome of your life can lead to depression, anxiety, or apathy.  Autonomy is the ability to make decisions and deal with the consequences.  A sense of autonomy allows the individual to see they can make decisions that will change the outcome of their life.  Autonomy provides hope and motivation to the individual to affect our current circumstances.

Community – Humans desire to be loved.

We seek community because we desire to love and to be loved.  Our God is capable of love, and of relationships with His creation.  Veith states, “From the beginning, God put us in families, tribes, societies.  God ordained that we be in relationships.  He ordained that we need each other.”  (God at Work, 2002, 41).

When our basic needs (vocation, autonomy, and community) are unmet, we are motivated to action.  Our desires increase in intensity the longer they remain unmet.  A lack of desire to meet these needs can be rooted in a disability, an addiction (drugs, alcohol, or entertainment) or depression.

The church must seek to meet the needs of emerging adults, through offering assistance in their journey to meet the basic human needs of vocation, autonomy, and community.  I believe that church who create mentoring environments focused on these needs will draw and retain emerging adults.

Dr. G. David Boyd is the Founder and Managing Director of EA Resources, a non-profit that exists to help parents and churches understand the challenges of emerging adulthood.

 

 

Living With Your Parents: How to Make It Work

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I came across an article, and wanted to pass it along!

It’s not all bad; it’s also not all good.

Photo of a young adult Asian woman living with her parentsSo it happened. You thought you’d be on your own by now, but you’re not. Whether you’re trying to land a steady job, get out of debt, or finish college on the eight-year plan, if you’re living with your parents as a 20-something, you’re not alone. More than a third of 18 to 31 year olds are living with their parents, according to the Current Population Survey. Continue reading →

What It’s Really Like To Move Back In With Your Parents

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Over the past few years, the percentage of 25-to-34-year-old Americans living with their parents has been at a record high of nearly 15%. Student debt and difficulty finding a job are sending millennials back home in droves — and though this type of arrangement is certainly easier on the wallet, it can wreak havoc on a young adult’s self-image.

Here is the full article.

I don’t really agree with everything in the article.  The article is not based upon research, but it based upon three women’s experiences.  However, I do know that emerging adults have varied and complex emotions when moving back home which is partially due to societal pressure, and their desire to feel like an “adult.”

Research indicates that most parents and emerging adults enjoy their time spent at home.  In his book, Arnett says, “When kids boomerang home, they bring more pleasure than pain. (Arnett, xi)  The book also says that “Of the parents who have an emerging adult child living with them, 61 percent describe their feelings about it as “mostly positive” and only 6 percent describe the experience as “mostly negative.”

For this reason, it is important we redefine adulthood according to the three developmental tasks rather than where you sleep at night.

Resources:

Getting to 30 by Jeffrey Arnett and Fishel