Asking good questions is critical for building a relationship – this is especially important in mentoring relationships. Yet many of us struggle to form questions that allow people to answer without feeling judged. One of the questions that emerging adults dread is “How’s school?” This question is especially heinous to emerging adults who are not attending college, or have dropped out.
Good questions are open-ended, and lead to reflection rather than to pat answers. As a mentor, you don’t want to answer their questions and make decisions, but to guide them as they reflect on their lives, and make their own decisions.
- So how has that been working for you?
- Where do you think that this is going?
- What have you learned about yourself, about God, about the world?
- What can I do to support you?
- Does the Bible offer any direction for you?
- What do you think that you need to hear from God?
- What’s keeping you from _______________?
- What other resources do you have?
- What do others think about this? friends, parents, and other relationships?
- What happened the last time that you did this?
- What is the next right step?
- How will this matter in 5 years? in 10 years?
I hope these encourage and guide you. Please leave your favorite question in the comments below.
Dr. G. David Boyd is the Managing Director of EA Resources. He loves being a dad, and shepherding emerging adults. If he can help your faith community, please contact him. 
