Here is an excerpt from How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success by Julie Lythcott-Haims.
I haven’t read the book yet, but it is now on my reading list!
Here is the link to the article.
Here are few quotes:
- “The data emerging confirms the harm done by asking so little of our kids when it comes to life skills, yet so much of them when it comes to academics.” Maturity and success as an adult is not based upon academic rigor.
- “My guess is 75 percent of the parents would rather see their kids depressed at Yale. They figure that the kid can straighten the emotional stuff out in his/her 20’s, but no one can go back and get the Yale undergrad degree.” As a parent, is your concern for their achievement, or their emotional health?
- “As parents, our intentions are sound—more than sound: We love our kids fiercely and want only the very best for them. Yet, having succumbed to a combination of safety fears, a college admissions arms race, and perhaps our own needy ego, our sense of what is “best” for our kids is completely out of whack.” Do you allow your children the freedom to succeed or fail without becoming overly involved or emotional?
It is crucial for parents to allow their emerging adults to develop autonomy – which is the ability to make decisions and deal with the consequences.
