Faith is often full of doubt.
Mark 9 is the story of a father who believed God, and yet also doubted God.
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We know that it was not the father’s first attempt to heal his son, because he had taken him to Jesus’ disciples, and they were unable to heal him. I doubt this was the father’s first attempt to find miraculous healing from God.
Imagine if you ever had to watch your child’s life be stolen by an evil spirit. 
Driven by love for his son, that man probably traveled all over the countryside to every holy man and teacher in order to bring his son freedom.
His faith was weak. This was not his first time to cry out to God for healing. Everything about him was broken – including his faith. However, God specializes in broken things, and uses faith even the size of mustard seed (This verse comes from the parallel passage in Matthew 17:20).
Jesus questions him not for the sake of the father, but for the sake of those watching. “How long has your son been like this?”
Once again, the father looks at his child writhing on the ground in agony. A flood of memories hit him, as Jesus acknowledges the depth of the father’s pain, the father’s sorry, and the father’s journey to brokenness.
With trembling hands, the boy’s father holds out his mustard seed.
In spite of the judgmental glances of those around him.
In spite of possible rejection.
In spite of his fear of once again being rejected.
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He lifts up to the Savior his belief and unbelief.
Jesus responds to his doubt, not to mock him, but to acknowledge that God alone is the source of belief.
No one more than this father understands that he needed the Savior’s help to even believe – to muster the strength to hope again. (Mark 9:24)
He asks the One who alone can grant him faith.
When Jesus sees a crowd running to the scene, He knows that it is time. It is time for Jesus’ glory to be revealed – time for Him to be glorified – time for all around to know that He is God.
The scene is set. The essentials are there. The timing is right.
The boy is healed.
Like the boy’s father, I often find myself between faith and doubt. Reaching multiple dead ends in life, often leads us to a point of unbelief, and yet belief.
Afraid to fully commit. Afraid of further pain. Afraid of further disappointment.
Afraid to hold out my mustard seed.
There have been many times in my faith journey when I have held to faith in God, but yet knew my faith was lacking. I didn’t lack factual knowledge of Him. I was surrounded my multiple evidences of His presence, and owned an over-flowing scrapbook of His mercies to me. I lacked no desire for things to change. Yet, I still was rendered ineffective by lack of faith.
What are you believing God for, and yet still lacking faith? You are not alone.
Hold out your mustard seed.
Cry out to the One who can take your belief and help you in your unbelief.
While you may not find your miracle, your brokeness will find the acceptance of the Savior.
