Who would use store deodorants?
Recently, my wife and I had to buy deodorant for our middle child. Although he is young, his armpits just smell terrible. So we had the conversation planned out perfectly, so as to not hurt his feelings, and help him adjust to this new idea.
As soon as we shared the news, he exclaimed. “I’m a man.” My wife and I just sat their confused. Instead of sad about his stench, he accepted the news with great pride as a sign of his being a man. I am not sure where he got this idea, because I sure don’t run around the house proclaiming the manliness of stinky armpits.
In a world where there are many strange ideas about what being a man is all about, I believe it is important for me to define manhood (based on God’s truth, and with God’s direction) for my three future men.
I am a believer in celebrating rites of passage within a family. As my oldest turns ten this spring, I am already planning ahead a first step in his transition from boy to man. A pattern that I appreciate and have chosen to use in my own family comes from Robert Lewis’ book, Raising a Modern-day Knight.
During my years in ministry, I have observed and participated in several rites of passage with young men. One emerging adult spoke about his father’s role in preparing him to be a dad,
My dad played a large role in my transition into being a man. When I left for college, he told me, ‘You’re a man now.’ He trained me. I know that I have his support. He will back me up and give me advice. He was the man in my life, and he has trained me on what to do in order to be a man”.
That is the way I want to lead my sons, so that they will understand what God calls us to be as men. This is not a project that I should do alone, but something I want to do with my wife. Rachel and I did some reflecting together on what we most want for our boys to be, and we set three goals for our little men.
As a symbol and teaching tool for my family, I asked a friend to sketch a Boyd Family Crest (the uber-talented Allen Nevalainen). My hope is that each of my boys will instill the values that it represents. The swords represent the community that they will need as they journey through life. The rose represents the love that they will demonstrate to others. The cross represents the purpose for their lives. The Greek words on the banner can be translated, “One Lord, One Faith, One Hope.”
I believe that intentionality is important for raising our boys to become healthy men.
How do you plan to pass along a legacy of authentic manhood? Share a thought for our community.
